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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Garden unusable due to neighbours pot smoking

142 replies

QuestionableMouse · 21/05/2019 14:38

This might be a bit of a long one, sorry.

I got a new neighbour a few months ago and knew he had mental health issues when he moved in. He has social workers going in every other day. He's also quite aggressive and I find him very uncomfortable to deal with. (example, one of my towels blew off the line and into his garden which caused a huge row with him being very aggressive, all because I'd nipped in to get it which is pretty normal in my street.)

He's recently started smoking a lot of very strong smelling pot. He has his window and door open and the smell fills my garden. I can't stand it- on my bad days it can easily trigger a severe migraine. I can't hang any washing out, can't sit in the garden and or use it at all. I've even started parking at the back of my property and coming in through the back door because it's so awful.

I don't know what to do. I'm honestly frightened to confront him as I live alone and he's a big man with a bad temper. But I can't go on like I am because I feel like a prisoner in my own home! It's a gorgeous sunny day and I have all my front windows closed so the smell doesn't get it. I'm also not sure if I'm imagining things or if my house in general is starting to stink of it. (victorian terrace)

Any ideas what I can do?

Thank you.

OP posts:
IronManisnotDead · 21/05/2019 18:42

@Nanny0gg you knock first ffs Hmm

IvanaPee · 21/05/2019 18:43

He wasn’t in, OP said. So what would be the point of knocking?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 21/05/2019 18:48

you knock first ffs

No, first you go through the gateway, up the path, through the garden, arrive at the door then knock or ring the bell!

Except when your neighbour isn't in... when you just grab your towel and go on with your day!

Janleverton · 21/05/2019 18:49

You knock, having walked past the towel? I would be more annoyed being disturbed by a knock for someone to point at a towel next to the path, that they’ve walked past, in order to get permission to retrieve it.

IronManisnotDead · 21/05/2019 18:50

@nc100 but she was not posting a fucking Christmas card was she? She clearly knew he was out when she went into his garden, the other neighbour saw her and thought she should not of been in there. Would she be ok with him popping in her garden when he felt like it? Hmm

Janleverton · 21/05/2019 18:54

She was collecting a towel. Doesn’t warrant being called a cunt and a whore and also, having to live with stench of skunk.

hsegfiugseskufh · 21/05/2019 19:10

Would she be ok with him popping in her garden when he felt like it?

I cant speak for op but i would be fine with next door popping into the front garden to retrieve lost washing.

ChocChocButtons · 21/05/2019 19:12

I would be pissed off if someone went into my garden. It’s is private space. It’s not up to you to decide its ok.

I feel for you over the pot tho, not sure you can do much about it tho.

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 21/05/2019 19:12

So, lets go back to the garden thing.
So Ops main garden is front garden. The washing and i assume main door is in the front garden!?
For op to retrieve her towel she had to walk down the front garden pick up her towel. She would have been in the same garden longer if she had walked all the way down the path to knock and potentially disturb neighbour bu knocking the door and asking to retrieve the towel...in front garden. The same garden you would walk down to knock his door...is this correct op?

The weed thing! Bloody stinks to high heaven. The smell makes me feel sick. My ex used to smoke it and even then I hated the smell. Not really sure what you can do about it! However it is still an illegal drug...maybe reporting it to council is the best thing to do! It is antisocial behaviour and causing a nuisance.

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 21/05/2019 19:14

I may be really wrong with garden thing but that is how I read it. I have only skimmed thread though.

hsegfiugseskufh · 21/05/2019 19:16

chocbuttons do you not get post, charity bags, takeaways? You have to come through our front garden to get to our door!

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 21/05/2019 19:21

@IronManisnotDead, please stop spinning things. The other neighbour didn't think I shouldn't have been there, she thought I'd been in to grab his washing out of the rain and mentioned it to him in a 'oh, QM took your washing in for you earlier because it was raining heavily'.

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 21/05/2019 19:23

The other neighbour didn’t say she shouldn’t have been there ! It just came up in general conversation.

Struggling to understand why so many people on the thread are keen to defend a highly aggressive man who smokes dope all day and calls the op a cunt and a whore.

Imagine being his next door neighbour.

Missingstreetlife · 21/05/2019 19:27

If he has social worker (more likely community nurse or care worker) you can let them know, although they should be able to smell it too

Singlewhiteguineapig · 21/05/2019 19:30

People seem to be confusing the little bit of weed that they smoked when they were 17 with the hideous fucking super skunk that’s around. It stinks to high heaven, it clings to your clothes and sends relatively sane people around the bend.

Grasspigeons · 21/05/2019 19:30

I relate to the smell thing. I do have a good sense of smell. Weed reeks and makes me feel sick. Can also give me a headache. (As do most perfumes, scented candles etc) my next door seems to have a string of people who come sit in the garden and smoke and it really carries. I think you can only hope he moves

Missingstreetlife · 21/05/2019 19:33

It can induce paranoia, not a good thing if someone is already having problems, on medication

MoreCookiesPlease · 21/05/2019 20:02

Feel bad for you OP. I had to deal with similar. A neighbour who wouldn't stop smoking pot outside all day. It was really irritating. I found the smell disgusting. I really do sympathise See if you can call the council and speak to someone there?

To all the people labouring over the garden towel issue: are you telling me for one second that if an item of yours blew over a fence/hedge into the front garden of a house that you were passing - that you'd go into the front garden, ring on a bell, explain to the person who loved there that you were there to pick up your item that had fallen into their FRONT GARDEN, and then go and retrieve your item? Or perhaps you'd be likelier to just nip into said front garden, pick up your stuff and leave?! It's not as if OP broke into her neighbour's back garden by climbing over a fence! Hmm

MoreCookiesPlease · 21/05/2019 20:03

*lived, not loved!

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 22/05/2019 00:12

Well I've just came in from work and he was sitting in the front garden puffing away. Had an awkward moment because he threw his larger can in my garden and was pretty drunk. He was trying to balance on a plastic chair and not making much sense. I'm worried he's going to end up hurt so I've rang 101 who are sending a police car out to do a welfare check on him. Bloody man.

OP posts:
AsleepAllDay · 22/05/2019 00:45

He definitely has issues beyond the smoking! Glad you helped him out but he sounds like a neighbour from hell.... you might wind up in the daily mail!

RightYesButNo · 22/05/2019 01:06

Another one who wonders, if the smell is that strong, coupled with the fact he was that angry about someone going in his front garden when he wasn’t home, could he be growing it or dealing it? If so, definitely call the police and report the smell is much too strong for just one person smoking and you can’t figure out where it’s coming from next door.

Also, some people have mentioned he’s possibly smoking synthetic marijuana. That stuff will make people incredibly aggressive and dangerous; it’s not like regular pot at all. They’ve had horror stories in America with it. If he’s smoking that, absolutely you should stay away from him and it explains his very hostile nature.

Sorry you’ve had to put up with this, OP. As a fellow migraine sufferer, I’m sure it’s just rotten Flowers

Innocentinfamy · 22/05/2019 01:15

Feel for you op. I have no idea why you're getting such a hard time from other posters on here.

Have similar issues with my neighbours. Whatever it is they are smoking is absolutely putrid & migraine inducing.

It comes right through the walls. It's so strong you could practically hotbox in my daughter's bedroom.

JanuaryOctober · 22/05/2019 01:19

If he has social workers going in and out, try to grab one of them as they are going in and ask if they could pop round after their visit so you can talk to them in private.
It might be that his smoking is going against his care plan with them and they could work with him to either stop entirely or manage it in a way that doesn’t bother you - like smoking indoors instead. Let them know that if they are unable to help then you will be left with no choice but to take it further (this will make their life harder if they have to work with him and he’s causing issues for neighbours so they will probably do what they can to avoid this).
We had a similar issue 2 years ago (constant drug use and loud parties from neighbors who were mentally ill) unfortunately nothing changed, we got to the point where we phoned letting agency every day and eventually the person’s lease was not renewed

sheettent · 22/05/2019 01:31

He sounds like a bloody nightmare.