...to want to shake my friends hard until they sort their pathetic responsibilities out?

[hockeypuck]

I have a child free weekend this weekend (Yay!)

My DH's birthday present to me was for him to take the kids to his parents house for the weekend. Doubly important because he travels a lot with work and has been away all week. So he gets quality time with them and I get a nice rest in my house and time with my friends. Lovely lovely DH.

So, about 4 weeks ago I phone up my 2 buddies,and explain the situation, booking one of them for fri night out and one for sat night. Excellent they say.

On Monday I phone friend 1, "oh I'm working late that night I won't be able to see you" he says. Then I get a text this morning from him, "i'm not working late any more, so I'm going to go out with Mike tonight - catch you some point at weekend" Flaky Git I say.

On Tuesday I phone friend 2 who says "Oh I can't come out on saturday I'm broke" then later on lists all the new stuff she's just bought herself and her children. Then she says she'll borrow money to come out. Then last night I called her and she said "I can't come out any more ExH wont have the kids" Up pipes her daughter in the background "mum, you offered to keep us this weekend cos you want to go out with Danielle next weekend".

Am really peeeed off. My 2 closest friends who I have seen through divorces, new jobs, encouraged one to become a student, house sat for etc etc can't be arsed to put themselves out a little to spend time with me.

Feel like responding like a teenager and cutting them out of my life, but adult life is not like that right? So I haven't even said anything to them about being annoyed with them.

I just didn't realise how flaky they are as friends and am disappointed in them.

On the plus side, it has made me even more determined to enjoy my weekend. I have HP being delivered tomorrow, I am meeting a friend for lunch and shopping with no buggy! and I might even get time to make some nice cards for people. Plus, I'm ordering in or eating out and not cleaning, cooking,washing up, changing nappies or listening to the inticacies of nightmares at 3am for 48 whole hours. As such I feel like the luckiest lady alive to have such a nice DH.

So, do I tell friends I'm unhappy with them and how do I do that. Or do I keep Schtum?

YANBU. But don't tell them, maybe mention it in a few weeks when it's not so fresh and won't cause a row, if you still want to.

YANBU - book yourself a pampering treatment too! Get yourself some really good dvd's and have a night in with some good movies and nice food/ wine! I know it isnt the same as a night out with your mates, but some of my best 'me' time has been doing the above! Enjoy your weekend!

Agree with ProfGram.

YANBU (its bloody annoying when people let you down), but enjoy your weekend and wait until you're feeling calmer to metnion it (DO mention it though).

xxx

Thanks girls.

At what stage do we stop responding to rubbish like this with "I hate you" "you don't like me anymore" and "I don't want to be your friend any more and no you can't come to DD's birthday party now"?

Or do we never stop wanting to respond like that and adult behaviour just masks it while secretly we are seething underneath?

I have to say that I have cut a couple of old friends out of my life completely, - seemed to be very one-sided, with me always there listening to their 'issues', but they didn't really have time for me, especially my children. I was not rude about it, just passed up on meet-ups til they got the message! We still exchange birthday cards etc, but life is fine without them! I still have lots of old friends, but lots of new firends too, who understand what it's like to have kids etc!

Surely going out with friends is achievable when you haven;t been offered the weekend on a plate??!!
My DH goes away every year for a long weekend, and I haven't done that in eleven years. He freaked when I announced I was going out one sunday from 2pm - 9pm. He coped though, and I had a great time not clockwatching or having anything that needed to be done.
Enjoy your book, eat loads of chocolate and see your mates another time.
(Or come and do my weekend for me and I'll have yours!!)