To not know how to cope anymore?

[Binkyboo16]

I apologise now if this is a long thread I’m just looking for ways to help perk me up after a long stressful few months.

My year has started badly and I think I’m finally starting to feel a stress build up. I have 2 young DC (2.7y and 10mo) and a wonderful DP and great supporting friends and family. We just never seems to get a break from things as a family. DD1 has a speech delay (says very few words, most of which are not clear) which is being investigated by a speech therapist but I’m finding she is getting so frustrated when she can’t communicate what she wants. This is obviously not her fault and we are patient and are trying everything we can but it’s a long process with little improvement as it stands. However I then feel bad as DD2 doesn’t seem to be getting the full extent of attention I wish to give her. DP works long days and is great with them but by the time he gets in from work he only sees them for around 2 hours but does have them one full day a week whilst I am out at work (I do 2 days on 12 hour shifts to condense my working week) the other day they go to daycare just before I start work until DP picks them up after he finishes work.
My DM was diagnosed with cancer 2 months ago, she has had surgery but is on a long recovery process and needs further surgery in a few months to remove more tumours. Her prognosis is positive and hopeful but I have been helping to care for her whilst she is off her feet. She is slowly on the mend and more independent again now, which is a relief but DF passed away a few years ago so there is no one else to help her as I’m an only child.
Other minor things have happened e.g minor financial setbacks, a very small minor car accident which thankfully caused no damage but the other driver is trying to claim there is (I have pictures to prove no damage and I know insurance will sort this out but it’s still just adding to the stress) major changes at work since I’ve returned off Mat leave and NDN causing problems. It just never seems to stop for us right now.
I need some ideas on how to relax a little and find myself again?
I’m young and know that many people are worse off than myself, I don’t want to seem precious and probably just need to vent. This week I just feel wiped out and like I’m not coping, I mentioned it a while ago to my GP but was told this is normal stress “for adults” (i’m 25 and never felt more like a child after that comment) any advice would be really welcome right now.

Hi OP, I’m sorry to read that you’re feeling so overwhelmed, it sounds like you’ve certainly got a lot going on. I’d go back to your GP personally and explain how you’re feeling again, do you have any spare time just for you? To meet up with a friend for a coffee, do a bit of shopping etc?

Thank you, it’s reassuring to know I’m not just stressing too easily, that’s been a big worry. My DP is great and offers me to go out on his other day off when he isn’t working (it’s shifts so no set day) but it’s rare I take it as I prefer to use that one day for proper family time. Before my DM was diagnosed she was my support so would have the DC if I needed to shop or even just deep clean the house.
I think I need to speak to a different doctor this time who doesn’t make me feel like a child.

You've got ALOT going on right now and it's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed by it all, most people would!

Do you have time to do any exercise, even if it's just a 20-minute walk? I find that even a short burst of exercise really calms me down.

Also, try to think about the long-term. Both children will change massively in the next few years and you'll find it easier as they get more independent and can play together more and entertain themselves. It'll come together, just hang in there.

I'm sorry your going through a hard time at the moment OP.
I know you probably don't have time but YouTube do free yoga videos. If you have a spare 20 mins I can recommend Adriene anxiety yoga videos (or any of her videos).
If you can fit them in now and again they can help your mental health. They have with me.
Look after yourself

Thank you for your replies.

Summer, I’ve always really enjoyed yoga actually, it is just finding time to do it now. When I can grab the chance to gym or swim I do but there is no set pattern as it stands with everything else going on. I shall try these videos out, perhaps with some meditation too might be useful.
Thank you AmICrazy, it’s sometimes so hard to look further forward when the present is so challenging. Thank you for reminding me it isn’t forever and I know things will sort themselves out, just currently everything is piling up and I’m not great at dealing with things until they have got the better of me.

All your kind words really mean a lot to me

Do you sign with your daughter OP? Makaton would be great for her.

Sorry to hear things are tough right now. Parent and child pressures at the same time are very stressful at the best of times. Second the suggestion above - there's a brilliant board book of baby signs that we got for my DD. We got it before she was 'due' to begin speaking but it was already very apparent that she would get easily frustrated if the speech didn't come quickly. She picked up the signs easily and still uses some of them along with the words now.

I'm sorry to hear you have a huge amount on your plate op

In addition to yoga, I would totally recommend mindfulness meditation to deal with when life is overwhelming. I've actually recently done the NHS Mindfulness CBT course and it was life changing.

Please also go back to your gp. If you are feeling overwhelmed and unsupported you need to have an honest chat with DP and family. I'm also an only child and it is really tricky as it all fallls to you right? So you need to give yourself self care and kindness, so that you can be in the best place. That means taking (some) time out to yourself.

I deleted social media apps and started Duolingo to improve grammar in a language, I do it when waiting for kids etc, and feel I have a sense of purpose rather than wasting time?

There's a great mindfulness book as a free download on Audible called Mindfulness for Health. I registered for Audible for free on a laptop (not phone) then downloaded book and cancelled subscription and it keeps the book. That book has a whole bunch of 10 min meditations. I honestly didn't think I was a meditation type, but it's really grounding and I feel it's given me a structure for dealing with overwhelm.

Recognising how you feel is a massive step in itself, I really hope you can find ways of getting support and self care

Sorry op you really do have a lot going on.
Sorry I can't offer practical help , just be kind to yourself

I honestly hadn’t thought about sign language at all, she loves watching children’s music videos and picks up the dance moves very quickly, I think she knew all the actions to ‘baby shark’ in less than 2 days. This may be a good start for her as she can make noises and point to what she wants but if it’s not a visible object or clear action of what she wants it’s a lot of guesswork to figure it out. I shall look more into this.

Meditation was a great comfort when I lost DF and was struggling. I’m pretty sure there are some zen yoga classes in the area, I shall have a google and see if I can fit it into the day somewhere

Thank you again for your kind replies, I’m honestly finding comfort in knowing that I’m not overreacting. I used to be an avid reader but I find myself too tired in an evening to settle down and DD1 is refusing her afternoon naps now so no break during the day. She has infinite energy it seems, up at 5am yesterday, no nap, outside playing all day and still attempting to get out of bed at 9pm after bath and bedtime story.
If anyone also has a suggestion on how to tire out a toddler, I would be highly grateful