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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour complaining about our builder

31 replies

Fallingrain · 21/05/2019 12:55

Genuine AIBU - I live in a small close with a handful of houses. We are doing some building work (building a new kitchen extension) so there are several chaps with vans turning up each morning. My neighbour has spoken to me several times to complain about the builders parking outside her house - not blocking anything, just adjacent to her lawn.

Now I am all for being kind to neighbours and I certainly don't want to fall out with anyone. So far I've just said that I will have a word with them etc But there is no law saying that you can't park on a public road with no parking restrictions is there?

For background, she has three cars so one or two on the drive and then the others on the road. I guess I'm a bit cross because she has done loads of things that pee me off including racing into the close, litter from the skip that was parked on her drive for circa 6 months and parking her third car directly opposite our drive so it is tricky to get out. I've never said anything because we are neighbours and I don't want to fall out over something unimportant.

AIBU to basically ignore her?

OP posts:
Shelbybear · 21/05/2019 13:00

Yeah I'd just say sorry but they aren't actually blocking the drive. I know it's an inconvenience to you as you can't get all the cars parked near the house but it's not forever. Legally they aren't doing anything wrong.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 21/05/2019 13:02

If she approaches you again, have your reply ready.
Say "Well Mary not her name as I don't know what her name is, you know how it is. We're having building work done and the builders are parking safely on what is a public road. There isn't anything I can do about that. I won't be asking them to move as that will delay the building work and I'm sure you want them to be finished up as much as we do. Now, I must be off...chat to you again soon" and walk/drive/run off to do something else.

Fakenametodayhey · 21/05/2019 20:34

Blimey whatchamacallit

I think i need you sitting on my shoulder so i can sort out all the busy bodies

Severorstay · 21/05/2019 20:49

What whatcha said is awesome, but I might suggest:

“Well Mary (I think we’ve established she’s a Mary now :-) if you remember back a couple of months ago when one of your three cars was parked directly opposite our drive making it hard to get out - did I come and complain about it to you?

She’ll not be expecting that and might say something about it being a public road and she can park where she wants.

And it’s at that point you mention ‘ah yes, so back to our builders parking on the public road..”

The main thing is to push back respectfully and logically. If Mary feels like she has found someone who will take her shit without pushing back then you might become her go to person for her need for control. And you don’t want that - it’ll cost you more aggro and mental anguish in the long term :-)

StoneofDestiny · 21/05/2019 21:30

'Obviously, can't tell people they can't park legally on a public road' ....see you soon, must dash.

YouCantSeeMeHere · 21/05/2019 22:04

Nah she’s not Mary, she must be a Karen.

Cherrysoup · 21/05/2019 22:11

Surely it’s Janet?!

I’d also get in with your issues first, especially the speeding in, that’s just stupid and dangerous.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 21/05/2019 22:27

Nah she’s not Mary, she must be a Karen.

I feel sorry for Karens. I've only ever known three, but they've all been perfectly lovely.

Gibble1 · 21/05/2019 22:31

I hate this thing about Karens. Makes me feel absolutely shit about myself.

thankyourforthemusic · 21/05/2019 22:33

What @WhatchaMaCalllit said but maybe not as polite . As some
One who had a extension and had many problems I wouldn't give a monkeys about the neighbours upset about the parking . I did also get the neighbour moaning that when he came home that a van was near his drive making it difficult to get in. I just said it was temporary and to ask them to move and they will . Sorry but they have no idea about inconvenience so do not feel sorry if they are not happy about builders vans . What do they expect you to do park on the next street and carry the bricks ?

SpecterLitt · 21/05/2019 22:39

If she says something again just politely say that it's the safest and easiest place for them to park to get our work completed and that they are not parked there illegally. End it with, we're hoping to get this work completed as soon as possible so this will not be an issue, I hope you can understand. That's it. If she continues to complain then just tell her that it's not illegal and that you have been more than accommodating to her in the past and would have hoped she'd extend the same courtesy.

I'm all for helping neighbours and remaining friendly, but if someone is obviously trying to be difficult for no reason then I would defend myself.

Poppyinafieldofdreams · 21/05/2019 22:50

Obnoxious neighbour. Tell her to contact the police if she is unhappy.

Omzlas · 21/05/2019 23:09

Tell her that the vans are 1. Taxed, 2. Parked legally and 3. Not causing an obstruction (all assumptions!)

If she has an issue, she should defer to the highway code. And then find a hobby. Or watch Jeremy Kyle reruns.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 22/05/2019 05:22

Surely it’s Janet?!

If it is Janet then you might star in her Christmas round robin.

'Roy and I have only just recovered from that unpleasant business with next-door's building works. In the end we had to go to Provence for three weeks to recover and I still can't see a white van drive along our road without coming out in a cold sweat.'

mimibunz · 22/05/2019 05:26

Gibble1 Seriously? Confused

Redcherries · 22/05/2019 06:45

Is she the sort that looks down on builders? So she doesn’t want her view sullied by them and their awful vehicles?

Builders need their vans close by, or they have to unload the entire thing every morning and load it again ever evening, total ball ache for them, to carry heavy materials and tools distances that increase injury risk.

You could get technical with her, the hse guidelines are that manual handling is a last resort and risk assessed out where possible, the builders are following legal guidelines by parking legally at the closest point to their works.

Or you could tell her to stuff off.

Redcherries · 22/05/2019 06:49

Mind you, I had a neighbor complain about this when we had work done, it was impacting them though and I could see their point. We ended up with vehicles five minutes away. The same rule didn’t apply when they had work done and I repeatedly was blocked in, or on several occasions my drive was used to store materials when I returned home and I couldn’t park. The workers spoke no English so didn’t understand any attempts to explain. We just got on with it, everyone needs work done sometimes!

KissUntilTheyDieOfRabies · 22/05/2019 07:32

@Gibble1 I understand. I never get the name the same twice when I come out with a quote like those, so at least it's taking the heat from Karen. No one wants to be Karen anymore but everyone seems to want to "be more like Bob".

Re the neighbour, nothing constructive to add, but I do hate those types who bang on like that. Who the fuck doesn't realise their shite builder is dumping stuff on their neighbours drive! CF

KissUntilTheyDieOfRabies · 22/05/2019 07:33

Last bit was to PP, sorry, got distracted. But I wouldn't put it past the neighbour to do the same. Entitled.

IvanaPee · 22/05/2019 07:38

Seriously, @Gibble1 - an Internet meme/craze that happens to have your name which people use either without knowing your name or without associating it with whatsoever, makes you feel shit about yourself? Confused

OP, definitely say something. Whatcha’s Response is great but I’d also agree with adding in the bit about her extra car.

It’s one thing having good, peaceful relationships with your neighbours.

It’s another being a total pushover!

StrongTea · 22/05/2019 07:38

Her name is Hyacinth.

Piglet89 · 22/05/2019 07:38

Everyone KNOWS she’s a Pam. Husband Alan.

StoneofDestiny · 22/05/2019 20:48

It's a Lesley or a Sue

Babybrain26 · 11/02/2021 22:20

Sorry to respond to an old thread, but we’re having the exact same issue at the moment. Our neighbours run a business from their house so their customers park their cars in front of our house all the time, but we’ve never said anything. Now that we’re doing an extension, they’ve complained twice to our builders about them parking their vans in front of their house. They have a driveway which they normally use but at the moment aren’t, just for the sake of it, so that are builders have to park further down the street. We’re both shy and oh has aspergers so are worried about returning to our home with this tension and don’t know what to say if they approach us.

Babybrain26 · 11/02/2021 22:21

Forgot to mention at the moment they don’t have customers due to lockdown so their clients aren’t even complaining.