To consider getting a dog when dd2 goes to university?

[twosoups1972]

My youngest (dd3 aged 12) is desperate for a dog. She has ASD and loves animals. We have a cat and 2 guinea pigs currently. She loves our cat but she is very different from a dog obviously.

I would also love a dog and oldest dd (18) is keen as well. However, dd2 (16) is very much against the idea. She's not keen on animals in general but can avoid our cat at home. She is scared of dogs and wouldn't feel comfortable at home.

I have suggested that we consider getting a dog when dd2 goes to university. I know that they don't properly leave home then and she will be home for long holidays etc but I thought it might seem like a good compromise.

My nephew is scared of dogs but after a few visits likes my dog. Now he has got to know her. Do you think the same would be true for your 16yo.?

YABVU
I don't understand why some parents want to make it pretty clear that they prefer one child over another and simply would prefer it if one of their children never visited home.

I doubt she will be so scared of a puppy! And before it's a ddog she will know it. Agree it won't be allowed upstairs. Tbh how much does a 16 to sit in the house anyway?? But unfair on the other dc she gets to dictate imo.

user that's not what I am saying at all. Dd3 has extra challenges in life and a dog would really help her I think. I was talking about this to some friends who have a dog and initially one of their dds really wasn't keen due to her fear of dogs. However she conquered her fear and quite likes the dog now. Even if we don't get a dog, dd2 will encounter them in life, surely it's a good thing to help her get over her fear?

I'd get a soppy dog, puppies are hard work.

When dd was 3, second youngest, she was terrified of dogs. To the point of letting go of my hand and running off. A spaniel had knocked her down in a kids play area (with a no dog sign).
Did my research and drove many miles to get a puppy.
A rottweiler puppy!!
Dd cried all the way home!!
Fell in love with her the next day.
Ddog is nearly ten and adored.
Well worth the initial tears.

Even if we don't get a dog, dd2 will encounter them in life, surely it's a good thing to help her get over her fear?

Encountering dogs is not the same as having to live with one when you are scared of them. If you get one you will be making it incredibly clear that you don't prioritise her feeling safe at home and I would take it as you sending the message that you no longer considered it to be her home. Your choice but please don't dress it up as something which will be beneficial to her.

As an adult my friend was known to abandon her dc in a pram if we saw a ddog.
Needs addressing in childhood imo.

remember yes that's a good point.

summer that's a big gamble you took. How did you decide to get the puppy and what would you have done if dd hadn't taken to him/her?

I doubt anyone would be scared of their own dog, especially if it's a carefully chosen non large breed.

I don't understand why some parents want to make it pretty clear that they prefer one child over another and simply would prefer it if one of their children never visited home.

How on Earth did you get to that conclusion from what the OP posted ffs

I'm just trying to meet everyone's wishes and needs, I don't want to make dd2 feel that her views aren't as valid as her younger sister's. Although dd2 did say to me once that she can see the benefits of having a dog.

Yes thank you arya I chose to ignore that comment!

Dd trusted I wouldn't let her be harmed I guess.
Had always wanted a ddog, had a ds a year old so had wanted to hang on a bit! I wasn't working then so really was the ideal time to train/cope with a puppy.
Dd relaxed and enjoy her pretty much straight away. Dc are more self confident anyway in their home environment.