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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Washing machine gate!

39 replies

Ihatehashtags · 21/05/2019 06:29

Okay so I don’t think I am being unreasonable but here goes.

I’m a student and a girl on my course is a single parent with limited finance. Her washing machine broke down and she was talking about having to apply for a student loan but wasn’t sure she could get one.

I said to her she was welcome to have our old washing machine which works perfectly as we just bought a front loader (quite generous I thought) . She said that would be great.

No thank you, I appreciate it or anything but whatever.

Fast forward 1 week, she brings up the washing machine and says ( her exact words) “okay so i was thinking I’ll just need you to pick up my old one, dump it somewhere, then pick up the new one and help me get it into my house”

I was honestly stunned! She lives 30 minutes from me, we have no trailer and have already given her a $1500 washing machine for free and she assumes I’m going to sort it all out for her!!

I then told her we didn’t have a trailer and then the CF asked me if any of my friends did! I was by then really pissed off and told her she’d need to sort that herself if she wanted the machine.

I felt furious! AIBU?? Surely I’m not.

OP posts:
Monty27 · 21/05/2019 06:31

Point her to Curry's

araiwa · 21/05/2019 06:33

Shes stuck and asking for help

No need to get furious

Maybe suggest a man with a van

Original poster
Ihatehashtags · 21/05/2019 06:35

@araiwa so it’s okay to show zero appreciation? Not okay where I’m from.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 21/05/2019 06:35

The correct response (used regularly by my teenage son) is "How about NO".

Ungrateful cheeky fucker! Good for you telling her she'd have to sort the arrangements. I have a low threshold for this sort of stuff and the offer would have been withdrawn

HotChocolateLover · 21/05/2019 06:35

It’s a bit cheeky but i’m Guessing she’s under 25. Those millennials eh?!! I second a man with a van. We paid £40 for an hour and he was great.

Original poster
Ihatehashtags · 21/05/2019 06:36

@honeylulu that’s what I thought! Very ungrateful. Sadly she’s 29 😩

OP posts:
Ifigotherewillbedouble · 21/05/2019 06:37

When she said that would be great I would read that as a thank you etc tbh. Agree with PP she’s asking for help, albeit in a direct way that’s certainly different from my approach, so I wouldn’t get angry. You’ve told her she needs to find her own way to get the machine - are you going to store it for her meantime or do you need to give her a deadline so it doesn’t get in your way?

araiwa · 21/05/2019 06:39

Thats great- showing appreciation

Tumbleweed101 · 21/05/2019 06:40

Is she young? She might not know how to do it all herself and need help. If you can’t help then maybe give suggestions like man with a van, private plumber etc.

I wouldn’t have known how to get rid of one and fix another in once and limited finances might mean it’s unaffordable for her.

All that said, she should have said thank you.

Smelborp · 21/05/2019 06:41

Yeah that’s pretty rude.

Also to everyone who has suggested UK solutions, the OP has given big clues that she might not be in the UK.

Original poster
Ihatehashtags · 21/05/2019 06:42

@araiwa are you the recipient? Saying that’s great is not saying thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ihatehashtags · 21/05/2019 06:42

@smelborp I’m in Australia

OP posts:
Original poster
Ihatehashtags · 21/05/2019 06:43

@Tumbleweed101 she’s 29....

OP posts:
araiwa · 21/05/2019 06:45

When she actually gets it to her house she'll say thank you

Thats great is sufficient for an offer of help

bigbadbadger · 21/05/2019 06:47

And then the machine will flood or break down in a few years and she’ll be furious with you - no good deed goes unpunished eh?

honeylulu · 21/05/2019 06:53

When she actually gets it to her house she'll say thank you

My money's on "you'll need to plumb it in for me" ...

Cariadne · 21/05/2019 06:53

It’s a bit cheeky but i’m Guessing she’s under 25. Those millennials eh?!!

No need to millennial bash - the older generations always come off much worse when we go down that route!

OP, that is pretty ungrateful. Not simply that she requested help, it’s the casual way in which she did so. Yanbu.

RedHelenB · 21/05/2019 07:00

By the time she's paid to get it to hers an old washing machine might not be that great a gift if you were wanting to help her out because she had no money she might have assumed youd deliver it to her..

Original poster
Ihatehashtags · 21/05/2019 07:06

@RedHelenb are you serious?!! The washing machine is worth $1000 plus! To hire a trailer is $40. Hmmmm do the math!!

OP posts:
hendal · 21/05/2019 07:06

She is pretty rude OP. If I was you I’d be reluctant to give it to her now as imagine she’ll be on to you any time anything happens with the washing machine.

And to PPs there’s no need to jump on the millennials and for the record we are not ALL under 25, millennials were born between 1981-1996, nor are we all “entitled”

Yabbers · 21/05/2019 07:07

Sadly she’s 29

So, not a “girl” then. I’m also wondering why her being a single mum is relevant to the story?

You either want to help her, or you don’t. Are you only helping so she is forever grateful and licks your boots?

You seem to want to judge her.

Original poster
Ihatehashtags · 21/05/2019 07:10

@Yabbers her being a single mum is relevant because she’s on a benefit and a student and I know that a hard. However what isn’t hard is for her to show a sliver of appreciation. I have no expectation she’ll kiss my boots. I don’t need her praise or want it. It’s just about manners really. That’s it.

OP posts:
1tisILeClerc · 21/05/2019 07:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

nc100 · 21/05/2019 07:13

Are washing machines in Australia $1500 second hand? Shock

Original poster
Ihatehashtags · 21/05/2019 07:19

@nc100 new this one is $2000 but price is irrelevant isn’t it?

OP posts: