To be scared that potential harasser knows where I live?

[friendlyflicka]

I met someone on an online date for a coffee. He didn't know anything about me other than that we lived in the same town. He was OK - I wasn't bowled over, and he was much more ardent on his side. And then he drove past my house afterwards and waved at me.

I didn't think much about that and carried on messaging - again he was much more into me. I asked his surname (I know I should have done that before meeting - I am an idiot). He gave me a misspelling. Via Facebook I turned the misspelling into another spelling. Looked it up and he has been done for lots of harrassment against 2 women.

Please don't lay into me, I know I am an idiot. I have a horrible past involving lots of abuse and harassment. I have messaged him and ended it, but I wondered if there was something I should be doing to make sure I am safe?

If he comes to your home ring the police. Simple as that. Likewise if he continues to text you. If he texts you again make it clear you don’t wish to hear from him and any further contact will be considered harassment and will be reported to the police.

Chances are with his record he will shit himself and back off.

Make sure his number is blocked also- so if he does text/call, he can’t claim it was an accident as he will deliberately have to put your number into another phone to contact you

Thanks so much. Oh God, I don't think I should go near men. I will do as you suggest. thanks so much

If he has a conviction talk to the police, they need to know he's active again, and they can advise you.

I will ring 111 in the morning

But I don't want to inflame him also. I have an ex in my town who I have had to work, via police, to get to stop. Just felt healthy enough to look again, this wasn't even someone I particularly liked, I was just making the effort.

I don't know why you feel like an idiot for not getting his surname beforehand, you're absolutely not one. Please don't beat yourself up.

I have a similar past to the one you've described, I've also had a plonker (or three) like the one in your post, latch onto me.

Definitely block, if he manages to find away around that send one simple and clear cut text saying you don't want him to message you again (that bit is important and will help in your favour if you need to involve the police later on) then continue to ignore him.

iirc, more than two messages after being asked to leave you alone constitutes harassment in the eyes of the law. You should be able to nip this in the bud fairly quickly

Februaryblooms, thanks so much. I have just had such a bad past, and I am old enough to know better. This was supposed to be light entertainment after 4 years of completely selfless, incredibly sole motherhood! Kind of backfired...thank you.

Advice is not to block, otherwise it can be harder to document evidence if things do get out of control.

Well done for looking him up. And I'm sorry it's turned out this way.