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To not babysit if bff is seeing 'him' again?

7 replies

ExtraPineappleExtraHam · 20/05/2019 18:17

Going to sound bitchy I know. My best friend has been single since splitting with her baby daddy a year ago. He treated her terribly, and really damaged her self esteem. Cheated on her with over ten women, told her it was because she was a horrible person and it was the 'his culture's' way of doing things Hmm
I was so pleased when she started going out again and I started to see more of her old self coming back. She is a stunningly beautiful woman and not only that she is so interesting and funny and well travelled. Every man who meets her falls a bit in love with her as she has this easy going, Cameron Diaz thing going on. Obviously she had loads of interest on O.L.D but she decided to reconnect with an ex instead.
This lad, I don't know where to begin. He dumped her before as he wanted to 'play the field.' He's older, not that it's a problem, but he has a 19 y.o so don't know why he wants to start again with a two year old. First time he was supposed to meet her ds he 'accidentally' stayed up till 4 doing coke and then got angry when she said that she didn't think it was a good idea that he came to the garden centre to meet him!
His career is as a music producer/ musician/ fabricator but he never seems to be at work! I get definite Dirty John vibes as he always seems to be free to FaceTime or go to the pub with her. He does deal a bit too, another plus! Last time I met him he was having a pint of Stella at 10am, which is even going too far for my lager lout dp.
I could go on. The time he dumped her in a restaurant because she laughed at his claims that he learnt to be a brain surgeon by watching YouTube, the time he stood her up when he supposed to be meeting her sister for the first time.
My main reason for posting is that I think it's going to end badly. Do I continue to support it by babysitting for her? Her mum is pretty much refusing as she doesn't like him. She is going to ask me to have her ds this Friday night, I love having him and I want her to be happy. This guy though, he is dangerous. If I say the reason why then she'll be angry at me. She already told me that she's fallen for him. I know what it's like to want to save a bad boy but I'm 16 years in and realising that my dp will never change. Am I being mean? I just want her to meet someone semi normal!

OP posts:
MummyParanoia101 · 20/05/2019 18:28

Having a 19yr old is no reason to not "start again with a 2yr old"

MummyParanoia101 · 20/05/2019 18:28

I get why you want to protect her, but you just can't! Just be there for her x

ExtraPineappleExtraHam · 20/05/2019 18:31

@MummyParanoia101 I agree, but it's that coupled with all his other behaviour. He is acting like a guy no longer in a long term relationship and free of the responsibility of young children.

OP posts:
Whatterly · 20/05/2019 18:32

He sounds like a tool. She needs to work on her self respect.

Loopytiles · 20/05/2019 18:35

Yeah, I wouldn’t be babysitting for free so a friend could date a loserz

ExtraPineappleExtraHam · 20/05/2019 18:44

But how do I tell her??

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 20/05/2019 18:47

Tell her you love her she can do better and just say when she asks that doesn't work out for me

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