To tell the parent my child can’t come

[SM33]

My DS has been best friends with child A for the last 4 years. Recently Child A stopped talking to my DS and ignored him for a week or two. My DS had no clue why and was extremely upset. Child A then started to talk to DS again as they attend an activity together. This week Child A’s Mum has invited DS around after school and he was really happy. However, today after school Child A ran off, rather than walking home with my DS. DS said this is always the case now and he only really talks to my DS if another boy isn’t available. Apparently, he goes to the park every day with Child A and my DS isn’t invited. DS has now said he doesn’t want to go to Child A’s after school. I’m really unsure about what to do. My gut feeling is Child A is being unkind and only being friends with DS when it suits him. Should I tell the mum? Or tell my son he has to go? But this feels a bit like telling my son it’s ok for people to drop you whenever they feel like it. And do i tell the mum why DS isn’t going?

God, don't make him go, and definitely tell the mum why.

No don't make your DS go - just a polite apology "sorry we cant make it i will be in touch to arrange a time when child A can come tonus"

How old are they all?
Anyway, if your child does not want to go, he should be allowed to not go! I would explain to the Mum bit I would also coach / support Ds to tell his former friend why, in simple, clear factual language.

For e.g "It's difficult for me to think that you are still my friend because you only talk to me if XXX is not around. It is up to you, you can be friends with who you want, XXX as well as me, but it isn't OK to keep changing your mind and ignoring me".

I would say to the Mum "Did your DS ask for this invitation? It's just that my Ds feels your DS doesn't want to be his friend any more - we might need to leave it to blow over for a bit"

Definitely don't make him go. Either make an excuse or say to the other child's mum that the boys don't seem to be getting on especially well these days so best leave play dates for now.

I would decline the invite as the boys "aren't getting along" It makes it seem like it's both boys and not just hers.

Children's friendships can move about a lot.
I definitely wouldn't force him to go.

I would politely decline without getting into specifics. "Apologies, but unfortunately xx can't make the playdate, many thanks, some other time".

This could blow over or not.
Either way I would encourage your son to play with others and I would support this by having other children over to encourage new friendships.