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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to justify my existence just to stay in an Airbnb

107 replies

CanILeavenowplease · 20/05/2019 16:52

I have had a difficult few weeks and wanted to take my children away for a few nights. I found a lovely property on Airbnb which I haven’t previously used. That seemed to put me into ‘risky’ category and the owner had to approve my booking. Fair enough. Except said owner wanted a low down on my life, the universe and everything before agreeing to rent to me. Is this how it works? We now have to justify who we are before staying somewhere? Or am I correct in wondering if the 1 adult, 3 children booking made him assume it was a single parent booking and he assumed I am in some way unsuitable as a result? I have cancelled the request to be allowed to book so if you’re reading this, middle-class professional here, able to afford your cottage without any problems whatsoever. Also clean, tidy and quiet. I have given my money to someone who was happy to accept the booking with no further questions.

OP posts:
Exploration2018 · 20/05/2019 17:36

I think you are cutting your nose off to spite your face. Air BnB are often part of people's property and it is totally natural to ask for more details if you are sharing your home/garden.
I have an Airbnb and if the reviews are good, I will accept automatically. If there are no reviews, I ask for a few more details. Most enquire with a lovely message and automatically give details without me having to ask. Some, unfortunately, are quite rude, abrupt and entitled so depending on how abrupt, I either decline or I do ask for more details.

If someone says they have children, I will ask the ages as some people in the past have misinformed me about having infants/toddlers when it's not really suitable. On the positive side, if I know the ages of the children, I can leave out age appropriate toys/books.

I doubt they are that bothered about losing a booking with 3 kids, it's always a small risk when there are kids involved. From bed wetting to drawing on walls and furniture to breakages.
I also stay in Airbnb and am always grateful that the host is discerning, it gives me comfort that they have high standards.

crazyasafox · 20/05/2019 17:36

Agree with some other posters here. YABU, as people allowing strangers into their home do have a right to ask questions about you.

Agree also with all these other posters that you are coming across as quite rude and snobby, with your snide remarks against single parents.

You have also not answered yet, what questions the Air BnB person asked you.

Chippychipsforme · 20/05/2019 17:38

It depends what sort of place it is and where it is. There's been stories of places getting trashed so presumably some Airbnb owners might want to check who is staying there. We've been to one that was someone's house (rather than business) so they asked lots of questions I presume to make sure we were genuine and not a hen do. You can ask them questions too, it's great for finding out about a local area.

Tinkobell · 20/05/2019 17:42

It's not just about you being middle class (!) and having the ability to pay. The fact is financially the risk is on them, not you. They are letting out a cottage, probably worth a few hundred thousand within a neighbourhood and you're paying a few hundred quid for a few nights. I'm not sure why they'd want to know your life history but a few questions around pets, child supervision etc are all perfectly reasonable.

WorraLiberty · 20/05/2019 17:44

The OP will probably come back and state she couldn't possibly be prejudiced because she's a single parent too or something.

But still, I'm not sure why she thinks a middle class single parent would be a better prospect than a working class one.

DarlingNikita · 20/05/2019 17:48

What things are they asking you?

I seemed to go through a phase on Airbnb when I was getting turned down for all the places I asked to book. It made me a bit paranoid, but in the end I decided that maybe they just had someone else interested and were keeping the dates free only until that person paid.

Or I look like a psycho in my profile pic. One or the other.

Amibeingdaft81 · 20/05/2019 17:55

I’m a single mum OP and I’m baffled that you would regard an owner of a property asking questions to be about this. It’s says a lot about your hang ups about being a single parent that fact that this would strike you as the reason.

In any event, I suspect that just asking reasonable questions and you have over reacted and flounced

The owner, it transpires, was on the ball

Original poster
CanILeavenowplease · 20/05/2019 17:59

Ah yes, well, she asked what job I do so presumably and wanted to know what reviews I have about me elsewhere online. So she was looking for evidence that I meet whatever standards it is she has set for her property.

And it was rental of a full property, not us staying in someone's home.

OP posts:
SouthWestmom · 20/05/2019 18:00

To be fair I'd be a bit nervous an an adult and three kids staying in my property (if I had one!)

kaytee87 · 20/05/2019 18:02

It could easily be someone's home and they're just away just now, I actually find that's usually the case with air bnb.
They're totally normal questions, I think you've cut your nose of to spite your face here op.

Original poster
CanILeavenowplease · 20/05/2019 18:02

The owner, it transpires, was on the ball

Why? A narrow escape because I don't want to tell a complete stranger my profession, and have them able to search for me online? Surely that's the point that all the naysayers are trying to make, isnt it? That my money is as good as anyone elses and I shouldn't have to provide reviews or give my job title to justify renting a property. Had I booked through any other website, the booking would have been accepted - or at least in my experience, if I have booked, that's the end of it.

OP posts:
DarlingNikita · 20/05/2019 18:03

she asked what job I do That's weird. No one has asked me or DP that on Airbnb.

wanted to know what reviews I have about me elsewhere online. As in, reviews of you staying in properties, but not on Airbnb? It's fair enough for her to look at your Airbnb reviews, and I think if you haven't got a history on there it's OK for her to ask for alternative reviews. As a renter, I tend to steer clear of Airbnb hosts who don't have any reviews for themselves or their properties, so I can't criticise them for wanting reviews of renters either.

Original poster
CanILeavenowplease · 20/05/2019 18:04

To be fair I'd be a bit nervous an an adult and three kids staying in my property (if I had one!)

Why? It's a family sized property being rented out. What is wrong with a family renting it?!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 20/05/2019 18:05

But what does being a middle class single parent, as opposed to a working class single parent have to do with any of it?

Why would you even imagine it had anything to do with that?

BarbaraofSevillle · 20/05/2019 18:06

Most airbnbs aren't someone's home they're a holiday rental just like anywhere else.

We've only used them once and I was a little Hmm about the need to beg for approval to be allowed to stay in the property.

Amibeingdaft81 · 20/05/2019 18:08

So to be clear

She asked your profession
And whether you were on any other property sites with reviews?

Original poster
CanILeavenowplease · 20/05/2019 18:11

But what does being a middle class single parent, as opposed to a working class single parent have to do with any of it?

Why ask for a job title?

I think if you haven't got a history on there it's OK for her to ask for alternative reviews. As a renter, I tend to steer clear of Airbnb hosts who don't have any reviews for themselves or their properties, so I can't criticise them for wanting reviews of renters either

Wow. Is that how it works? I could have understood asking me if I was booking for a hen do or if I had family pets or something that might, potentially, cause some damage, but why it was clearly a family booking albeit with one adult. If I booked a cottage through any of the other millions of sites you book cottages on (and I do it at least twice a year), it would be booked and done with. Or at least that has always been my experience. We are reviewing guests now? ! I guess I'll have to ask for the host at my next stay to review me then!

OP posts:
EggAndButter · 20/05/2019 18:12

I am using AirB&B a lot.
Ive never had anyone asking for my profession.
They did ask for many information to check I was a real person when creating the account (which i did find hard as i wasnt on SM at that time....).

I can see how this could be nerve racking for the person who is the first one to let you in their place. But I am surprised at the questions tbh.

Ratatatouille · 20/05/2019 18:13

YABU. Airbnb is not the same as using a comparison site to book a hotel. You are (usually) staying in people's private homes. Of course they want to know a bit about you. Wouldn't you want to know a bit about someone if you were going to let them use your home while you were away on holiday, for example?

It's fine if you aren't happy giving that kind of information, but then perhaps you need to stay in a hotel or b&b. It's not the owner's fault that you didn't understand the way it all works before you requested to book.

PenguinsRabbits · 20/05/2019 18:14

I have only made 3 AirBNB bookings, all whole property for 2 adults, 2 children and never had any questions about me. One just said welcome, other two were asking what we wanted to do in area. One seemed to want to arrange my whole holiday for me which was very kind but bit OTT.

SouthWestmom · 20/05/2019 18:14

Why? It's a family sized property being rented out. What is wrong with a family renting it?!

Personal ownership of four messy kids? Makes me nervous when kids outnumber adults 😂

EggAndButter · 20/05/2019 18:15

xpost.

Yes this is how it works.
You leave reviews for the places you have stayed in and people who have welcome you leave a review about you.
Most people will want to approve the booking before and hand and will check the review of the person who wants to stay. This voids people who really dont take of the place, leave everything dirty, broken etc... (They are a lot of them around).

And YY i suspect that the owner had a nice prejudice. MC= OK and will take care of things. WC= more rough and might break things.....

Original poster
CanILeavenowplease · 20/05/2019 18:16

I think you've cut your nose of to spite your face here

I just booked somewhere else. That owner took my money without any questions. Shrugs.

OP posts:
AlaskanOilBaron · 20/05/2019 18:16

I'm not on AirBnB but if I were, I would absolutely want to low-down on my guests.

If I struggled to get anyone to book under these circumstances, I'd either lower my rate to or drop the idea entirely.

BarbaraofSevillle · 20/05/2019 18:19

A booking of an adult and 2 DC says nothing about you and its none of their business.

You could be a single parent or you could be a married parent and your partner can't get time off work or is on deployment, or isn't well enough to travel or all manner of other reasons why they aren't coming on holiday.

Your job title says nothing about your class or worthiness to rent their property, you could be a middle class person doing shop/bar/restaurant work because your partner works long hours and it is convenient for the DCs just as much as you could be a working class single parent who has a professional job or any other possible combination.

Airbnbs are rarely someone's home, that's how it started, but like eBay, it's changed beyond all recognition and is now just like all the other big holiday rental/shopping sites.