Aibu in wondering why people are so nasty towards the Op sometimes?

[CynthiaRothrock]

Just that really. Don't get me wrong some times the op is clearly a troll/attention seeking. Fair enough, but in other instances the op is clearly stressed/worried and makes a mistake and certain posters start tearing the op a new one, Nothing constructive to add to the post, and will post 3 or 4 times pointing out the mistake, even when the op corrects themselves.

For example a post the other day the op mis-labeld a member of her family she said "my aunt" instead of my sister or my daughters aunt. And that was it, posters pecking at her and generally being nasty and horrible because in her worried/ stressed state she wrote the wrong thing. It did make the post confusing but even after the op corrected herself people still kept asking why she had made such a mistake, why did she say aunt and not sister etc.

Another one today. Op stated she had gotten some information from A. But she made a mistake, she got the information from B. It doesn't make a difference to the ops' original aibu where the information came from. Yet posters are again demanding to know why she said A when she actually ment B. It is clear the op is under alot of stress and not having a good day. She has corrected herself and apologised for the mistake. Now posters are demanding to know why she made this mistake, and why B has given her this info ( again where the info came from is irrelevant to the original post). It is very sad to read some of the comments.

Why do people feel the need to do this? Especially when it is clear the op is struggling. It just derails from the thread and usually results in the op not getting the advise they came for. It is a anonymous forum, does it really matter if the facts are exact with perfect SPAG as long as the post is understandable (and not a complete piss take)?

If the one from today is the one I'm thinking of and escalated quickly this afternoon, it's really rather questionable anyway. I'm awaiting the MN delete message.

I have always thought that if posters used the specific topics more they would get better advice. Might not be loads of replies but better ones.
But for some reason it's always AIBU 'for traffic'. The same AIBU that people have suggested renaming 'Petty Gripes' and the home of Penis Beaker.

There are loads of parenting topics, health, Relationships-you name it. Why not use them?

I think it's just the way these kinds of websites work. People tend to look at situations very much from their own perspective. Other people, going on the limited information in the post, will take their own view on it.

But there are always three points of view - yours, theirs and the truth. It's unusual for posters to write anything that puts them in a bad light. Posters will respond through the lens of their own experience. You then get the OP defending her point of view, often with new information, and the thread becomes polarised.

Rosie i some times feel the same but have been around on this site for the best part of a decade and i am a sucker for a cheeky fucker thread so always come back!

Most of the time i can ignore the morons but it seems to be happening more and more recently. I do find myself slightly more straight talking on here than I am in person bur i still try to be courteous and polite (unless faced with a total goady fker) but i dont say anything i wouldnt say to a posters face and try to take in to consideration that they are human and have problems like the rest of us do and i dont know what is actually going in their life approach.

It does work the other way. Another poster was vile to me with no provocation at all the other day. There was a pile in telling her to back off.

One word: projection.

I’ve been bs k only a few days after a year long break and already I’ve been attacked countless times for some pretty innocuous comments. It’s by the by on Mumsnet. You learn to develop a thick skin or else you move on to somewhere a bit kinder.

I was thinking about this earlier. I don't know if it's getting worse lately or if it's just because I'm getting older and can spot bitchiness easier. Some posters just seem to get pleasure out of being nasty and putting others down. It's like they've not grown up since secondary school.

I hate it when someone posts about their child and get "your child is a brat" just based on one incident. It's not helpful it's just nasty

I also hate it when this attitude spills over to the other boards as well. I posted something in Employment once and whilst most of the advice was good, some of the posters were treating my post as an AIBU and getting very arsey with me over nothing.

Had some posters telling me I was being unreasonable (and immoral!!) for trying to get a work-funded masters, rather than advising me on what arguments to put forth to my manager to help me attain one - in the end my manager did give me one, saying that it was beneficial to the company.

Wish people would learn to take a breath before being arseholes for no reason. Especially on AIBU or Relationships where some posters are in a really delicate place emotionally and mentally.

I think a lot of questions come from the OP being rather devoid of detail so posters are trying to establish exactly what’s going on.

some people are just bored and trying to get into their small soap opera.

How many thread where posters are demanding for the OP to come back and update? (as opposed to ask the OP to clarify something, which is slightly different)

I agree anonymity makes some posters unnecessarily harsh. However, I do think if the OP is going to put a dilemma forward, they have to be prepared to be disagreed with. I’ve lost count of the number of times lately OPs have taken extreme umbrage, told us they’re leaving the thread because they ‘didn’t come here to be slated’, or have gone for the classic ‘I don’t know why I came to MN for support, should have known better, this is fucking typical MN’. What it adds up to all too often is that they didn’t get the answer they wanted and are pissed off. Much easier to blame people being ‘nasty’ than it is to look at their own behaviour.

I had a horrible time when i posted about something which made me anxious and even when i mentioned my MH problems was told it was a (can't remember but basically a get out clause?) and got picked apart over my 'messy' writing and not knowing some facts etc.

It was pretty horrible that even after knowing that, it just seemed to make them worse. Grim. It did upset me actually (although tried not to let it).

I left and came back anon, but very wary of posting now. I mainly just go on Elefriends which is a Mind site instead, now, as it is closely moderated and wouldn;t let that happen.

I also wonder if might just be some grumpy men on here who have been dumped and blame on on MN or something! Not sure why but just get a feeling that way sometimes.

This is AIBU. It's the bunfight forum and renowned for it. Most of the time there are lots of other more tempered MN forums which are much more appropriate for the OPs topic but if they post in AIBU then AIBU is what they get.

I found it just the same on Chat tbh

I found it just the same on Chat tbh

Yes, using the right topic is the way to go. But you aren't allowed to suggest that because you then get "the OP can post where they like-who are you the thread police?''

the thing is, it is not obvious at all, if it was your fist time on the site, the Trending posts send you to this section, and then I checked and there is no warning or anything. for people on here they would know, but to others, no it is not obvious

I think MN has really changed since DM those who will not be mentioned-- has infiltrated it and published nasty stuff that people get on the bandwagon with.

It's brought a lot of nasty people online here who seem to have no empathy. Only cos they hate their own life so dump it on others.

I like to remember Don Miguel Ruiz's The 5 Agreements.

Nr. 2 is - I think - Take Nothing Personally.

Certainly won't by a bunch of fuckwits!!