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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask you for some help working out what on earth to do?

1 reply

honeynutty · 20/05/2019 10:57

Because I can't see the wood for the trees.

Background is that I have been a SAHM for 9 years. I was bullied out of my job when pregnant with my first child, had MH issues which turned into crippling PND after my second child was born. Thankfully I am now doing great with my MH after counselling.

I have just finished my first year at university. DH works full time. We only have one car so I was using public transport to get to Uni and the DC's school is in walking distance. Up to now, only having the one car was fine. But where we live is quite rural so public transport isn't great.

Our income is just about covering the bills. But I had hoped to find some work over the summer...I have applied for lots but have literally not had one response, positive or negative. The issue is that even if I got something, we would then need to get another car and childcare is a problem come the summer holidays (8 weeks where I live). I have been applying for nightshifts and weekend work to hopefully get around that.

We have just found out that our landlord is in massive arrears on the mortgage and we are now panicking that we will have to move. This is all culminating in me feeling like I need to defer going back to Uni (can this even be done?) and get a full time job so that we can afford to move/live/save for a mortgage. If I do this, I will probably never finish the degree and DH is adamant that deferring is not an option. But he admits that we are heading towards big problems.

He is working all the overtime available, but he took a pay cut late last year because it meant better conditions. It was the right decision, but we are really struggling. The answer is me getting a job, but logistically this is a nightmare due to transport, childcare around DH's hours and my lack of recent experience. I am literally stuck in a cycle of finding a solution to one problem but then that is hampered by another problem, and in the end it is all useless anyway because I am not even getting interviews.

Every day just seems to bring another bill, another problem, there are issues with the house and the landlord has been radio silence for weeks now...we think because he doesn't have any money to sort the stuff out.

And while all this is going on I am now finished at uni and in the house all day feeling unproductive and like I am going slowly mad. I need a plan of action, but I don't know where to start. I don't even know what I am really asking or what anyone can really tell me, I suppose I just needed a vent.

OP posts:
Evidencebased · 20/05/2019 11:33

Sorry life is hard. That situation of solving one problem brings up, or is dependent on another is vey tricky, and difficult to think straight about.

The degree- if in any way it leads to better prospects in the future, which even a non-job related degree can, really, don't give up on it now. Try to take a long term view: think how improved job prospects will affect your family life over the next 15-20 years. And dropping out is not a good CV look.

Intercalation means you stop a course, ideally, but not necessarily at the end of a year/semester, and then restart, at the same point a year later.Apply to do this , if you have to, don't just drop out.

Rental- really tricky, but some bridges have to be crossed when you get to them.

Any chance of campus job- part time, eg in Uni supermarket ? No extra travel.

Apply in person, keen and bright, to every business, of whatever kind, within biking distance, so you don't need 2nd car?

Good luck.

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