Aibu to think I must be uglier than I thought

[MummyCool19]

Why is it when I take selfies, look in a mirror, take selfies with other people etc I look so different to when someone takes a picture/using rear camera?! But everyone says I look more like the selfie etc than the picture someone has took in real life? I look awful on pictures 😩 I’m getting married in 7 weeks and I’m absolutely terrified of looking at the pictures because I feel like it doesn’t look anything like me!

Aibu to think maybe I’m kidding myself and I’m actually mega ugly?!

Anyone else find this?

I look awful in photos, it was better when I was younger but now I'm older and I have a double chin I seem to have morphed into some ugly tired looking old woman who never knows where to look.

My eldest DD had the most pefect wedding day, and we've got some gorgeous photos of her. The ones with me on - I was trying not to show my teeth as I'm self conscious of them so I look a charming combination of pissed off and constipated . DH looks so relaxed and happy in comparison. He just doesn't even think about what he's going to look like, and I really envy it.

Focus on enjoying your day, and try not to pose.... just be yourself

Most phone cameras have airbrushing/filters and automatic mirroring added into selfie mode (you can turn these off!) so if you take a lot of selfies it can be a shock to see a ”real” photo. But honestly it's just a shock to see yourself without barbie airbrushed skin - believe your friends, and trust the wedding photographer.

I am aghast that people went out of their way to say that to you, @YouJustDoYou. All I can I think is, you must actually be rather attractive!

I'm the same OP. Although I take a better picture than I used to. Some photos of me and even some selfies are like "fuck sake, really!" Passport pictures of me are truly hideous. I think my face is quite asymmetrical, that's why.

Don't worry. I was worried about my wedding photos but even if I do say so myself: I look beautiful in the vast majority of them. My photographer was amazing and a good photographer takes time to find and show the beauty in everyone. On your wedding day you will be luminous with the happiness which will really show. My mum says there are no ugly brides.

Not sure how true this is but someone once told me that selfies and seeing yourself in a mirror is the image you recognise of yourself but when someone else takes a picture of you, it is inverted and you can’t really identify yourself

I'm an absolute minger and have been told so more than once (admittedly by people whose opinion doesn't matter) but I love my wedding photos just because of the sheer love and happiness that shines out from them from both me and my DH.

Relax, enjoy your day, take confidence from the fact that you are beautiful in your DH's eyes and in the skills of your wedding photographer.

Sometimes I accidentally flip the camera on my phone so that it's turned towards me rather than what I'm photographing and I always recoil in abject horror.

I look awful!

Yet when I look in the mirror I don't think I look too bad.

@MummyCool19

A selfie does very few people favours; that's why MOST people put filters on them/airbrush them. And they are almost always taken from slightly above like on the first pic here.

I even see people using filters (like snapchat) which not only makes them look very different, but makes them barely recognisable as a human - like on pic 2!

Although I look roughly my age in real life, I can look 10-12 years younger on a selfie, with the right lighting and the right angle, and a tool to get rid of a few lines! HD cameras close-up flatter NO-ONE! Not without 'adjustments...'

And a selfie will often highlight every little flaw and make it look bigger and worse than it is. I believe it also makes your nose look 15% bigger or something like that.

Don't take selfies anymore. They do very few people any good. And as I said, the ones you see where people look 'great' are almost certainly photoshopped.

And your wedding pics will be amazing. Trust me. I have never seen a bride look horrid on her wedding day. They always look radiant and sweet and lovely.

I feel so bad for, and so sorry for some of the posters here who say they are ugly, mingers, tired old women with double chins, haggard, they have weird faces, etc etc. I bet you're all wrong, and you are actually all really attractive, sweet, funny, and really nice people.

THAT INCLUDES YOU OP!

I know about the phone flip thing!! I scare myself when that happens. I look so miserable with downturned mouth and long lines from nose to mouth and deep frown lines. I wish I could get a reset of my default facial expression.

That woman on pic 1 is not me by the way! It's a stock photo from google (as is Pic 2.)

It's all about the right light and finding your best angles. A professional photographer should be able to capture some lovely photos. I'm super photogenic but look less great in real life... go figure!

Urgh accidentally flipping the camera is horrendous! I have about three chins

Fwiw I’ve always believed that nobody is ugly on the outside. There’s always something attractive about everyone, be it their eyes, skin, hair, lips, legs, etc and if you’re a lovely person this does show in your face and makes you beautiful no matter what you look like.

Please don't feel stressed.Your friends are incorrect in my experience about selfies and having someone take a picture. In the latter you can relax and just concentrate on smiling, but in a selfie you need to concentrate on angles and buttons so its next to impossible to get relaxed enough to smile.
That said I have a friend who is very beautiful and much to our amazement hates the way she looks in pictures.
One trick I have found which you may want to try is to put the picture on a 10 second timer. You then have taken half the problem away and hopefully 'only' have the angle and smiling to work out.

I feel so bad for, and so sorry for some of the posters here who say they are ugly, mingers, tired old women with double chins, haggard, they have weird faces, etc etc. sad I bet you're all wrong, and you are actually all really attractive, sweet, funny, and really nice people.

Thank you mabels. I am - or try to be - a nice person and I have a loving DH and some loyal friends so I'm doing okay on that score. I'm just also pragmatic that I am very far from society's standards of beauty, but that didn't stop me having a wonderful wedding day with some lovely photos which was the OP's fear.

Different lenses do distort features.

Sorry for the DM link, but it's useful:

www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2059455/The-camera-DOES-lie-Proof-lens-difference-pretty-pretty-ugly.html

A big smile should sort any photo. :)

A good photographer will also try to get your best side and face position. I always tend to lift my chin and photographers keep telling me to bring it down.
My smile always goes funny if I have to wait, so try to enjoy the photo session as much as possible so that you can keep your smile genuine. (Ask your OH to tickle you if you have to)

A big smile should sort any photo

Not really, no.

I look awful in selfies that i take, but look semi ok if someone else takes it.... I look better if pic is taken with an SLR.

If you've got a professional photographer you will look great, especially not staged ones. Best pictures i have of me is when i was not aware of beings snapped

A big smile should sort any photo.

Not when you've got my teeth!

@TheTitOfTheIceberg

Thank you mabels. I am - or try to be - a nice person and I have a loving DH and some loyal friends so I'm doing okay on that score. I'm just also pragmatic that I am very far from society's standards of beauty, but that didn't stop me having a wonderful wedding day with some lovely photos which was the OP's fear.

You're welcome.

And I do mean it! I bet no-one on here looks as bad as they think. I know several women who think they're ugly/funny looking etc, and they're really not. I am baffled as to why they think it!

My most beautiful friend (who is also an absolutely wonderful person) looks bloody awful in all photos. She is well over 60 now and still looks about twenty years younger in real life. Cameras just hate her.

We are more than our selfies.

When you take a selfie you choose a really good angle, lighting and pose your face so it looks as flattering as possible. Obviously you don’t get that with a photo someone else takes, you’re relying on them not to make you look awful.

Everyone has bad photos sometimes, even the most beautiful people in the world.

I believe it also makes your nose look 15% bigger or something like that

That's because the camera is too close to your face. The shorter your arms, the worse the effect.

If I take a portrait photo with proper camera, I use a telephoto lens and stand well back.

I'd post my wedding photos and a selfie if it wasn't so outing! Wedding photos - I looked like a model. Selfies - I look like a troll.
Wedding photographers are trained professionals with great cameras, lighting etc
I am convinced that the Kardashian et al selfies are actually taken by trained pros.

OP don't worry, you'll be gorgeous

Could you ask a few close friends to send you their nicest wedding photos v most awful selfies so you can see the difference?

I've been told by different people Im ugly

Who the hell told you this? They are the ugly ones. There is beauty in everyone and if someone is ugly that's about the inside.

I also have a friend who is very photogenic. In real life she is attractive, but kind of looks her age (50s) as she is very thin so it impacts on her face, ( don't mean that bitchy just trying to explain),. In photos she's an absolute and utter stunner. None of the looking drawn is there. I geneuinly don't think she's ever had a bad photo taken.