She was my best friend in my late teens through to late twenties. Despite being 20 years my senior. We got into all sorts of scrapes 
nothing major but enough for me to look back and think blimey!!
We did everything together, i was always at her house. Then she met her DP and obviously she spent more time with him. I had a baby and then met my DP, went to uni , work etc. My friend developed a close friendship with my mum and it sort of changed the dynamic of our friendship. She then moved to another country with her DP and contact was Christmas cards etc. Im shit at sending that sort of thing.
We drifted apart and although she moved back she was a car journey away, neither of us drove and we just didn't really rekindle the friendship although our dp's did the occasional job together (builders). We are both pretty exclusive with our DPs and don't really socialise.
The last time i saw her apart from bumping into in shops etc was last year on a professional type visit to her house. Just a bit weird really. However my mum and her would talk on the phone often.
Now she's gone - ive known her since i was 14 and im 48 now. Im actually devastated about her death and i feel bad that i didn't make more effort. Her health has never been great so if i bumped into her dp alone and he said she wasn't well i kind of assumed it was the same old thing which of course she always managed historically.
Then we bump into her DP yesterday and he tells me she's gone. No ceremony just a private cremation. Thats it. That hurt a bit but that is their choice and im hardly able to complain when i didn't go see her or pick up the phone. They were so private though they only ever wanted each other's company.
So full of regrets and am shocked that its affecting me so profoundly as i said, we had drifted apart. She was a deeply caring and kind person that was feisty and demanding. I understand that things were very difficult at the end. I didn't know. Id like to think id have at least visited. She was a massive part of my past - turned out i loved her 
I know this is cliche and pathetic but please if there's an old friend in your life. Pick up the phone. Send them a card - you don't know what their lives are dishing up for them. I was so involved in my own life/family and issues that i let my friend down.