Weirdness about illness

[user87382294757]

A few years ago, I had to have surgery due to a rare (benign) tumour in the intestines. It was quite a scary experience as twisted up some internal organs and then needed more surgery after for complications. There's a high risk of further problems from scar tissue (adhesions)

Anyway, I have had some strange reactions from family. My DC understand it OK. (told them very basically, they are slightly older and asked what had happened) bit from the adults, well!

My mum keeps saying about not looking after myself and 'am I looking after myself now' which is odd as was nothing to do with lifestyle etc, doctors said was very rare and not to do with anything like that. Just very unlucky. She also has said mean things about me 'taking drugs' which are totally unfounded and upsetting.

My dad dismissed it, saying it happened ages ago and would have healed by now (yes he know so much better than the surgeons and doctors) and my in laws don't understand either. I'm mens to follow a low fibre diet due to it, (risk of recurrent bowel obstruction) and made comments about 'food being for the soul' and were hurt I had not eaten some thing they cooked.

DH's sister meanwhile seems to think it is psychosomatic and asked if it was due to the stress of the DC being off in the holidays

What on Earth is up with some people about illness? It seems to be a mix of denial, and blame...perhaps it is just my (odd) family as I wondered whether this was normal.

I was not asking for sympathy and lots of support (although some understanding and less of the blame would have been nice)

PS Sorry if long.

Its just lack of medical knowledge. Very common, unfortunately. Just give them the bare details and every time they come up with some nonsense tell them they are wrong.

Those do seem odd reactions but i think it’s your family’s way of trying to manage a scary situation; your mum and sil seem to be searching for reasons and your dad is in denial about how potentially serious it was

Thanks, yes it is upsetting having to come to terms with this (and that there is no way of managing it and may well happen again) alongside the lack of understanding, and having to explain again and again. We'd all just like this stuff to go away but that just doesn't happen does it.

Maybe it also makes them aware of their own mortality perhaps. Anyway. I don't go on about it.

People can be so odd about illness and it amazes me the absolute rubbish that comes out of people's mouths . It's almost always a reflection of their own attitude to their mortality and risk of illness.

My Dm dismisses or over dramatizes anyone else's illness there is no middle ground and basically it's whichever will get her the most attention.

My Exmil refused to accept anyone at all ever being ill to the point she put her DC at risk several times by not seeking medical help.

My Dsis is permanently ill with something or another and thoroughly enjoys the martyr complex she keeps in her handbag at all times and assumed everyone else is dying from the small sneeze they just had or the yellowish tint they got from accidentally buying the wrong colour foundation when they were hungover in boots.

Try not to sweat it OP I often ask for their medical degrees when they spout crap but it doesn't shut them up for long so I have a firm ignore the moron policy

I guess people relate to it from their own experience or something rather than the facts.