Does your DP/DH worry

[pivotagain]

I worry about my family a lot! I like to know where the kids are and that they're safe. If anyone is particularly late home I worry. I worry when the older ones go to music festivals/ holidays abroad etc. Meanwhile my dh doesn't seem to worry at all about me or the kids. He sleeps soundly - doesn't worry if we don't hear from them and always just thinks no news is good news. I know I'm over the top sometimes but I think as my husband and the kids dad that he should worry a bit - I thought it was normal to worry. I interpret his lack of worry as lack of care - aibu?

What good does worrying actually do?

No, I do the worrying in this house .
If he started to worry about something I would know it was bad !

I think DP probably worries about me and DS more than I do to be honest, everyones different. I worry too but hes more over the top about small things than I am.

Nope. He worries about absolutely nothing. Ever.

Yes you are being a bit U. Of course its natural to worry a bit but not excessively. Do you expect them to keep in touch with you when they are away? Dont you sleep if they are on a night out?

In our family it is my (male) DP who does the worrying and thinks I am much too lax about our young people's safety.

Yes the kids are good at keeping in touch but I still worry!
I have friends who have DP who will worry about them and I always think it sounds lovely and caring. But maybe iabu.

Mine worries, probably too much, to the stage where it stresses me out. I want him to do some CBT.

No. And I would find it very tiresome and infantilising if he did.

There's healthy worrying, and then there's uncontrolled anxiety.

Yours sounds less like the former, more like the latter.

Where did you learn that worrying was how to express love?

Or that it was normal to worry so excessively? I.e. Even when you know someone is safe.

Don't meet trouble halfway. All you do is upset yourself when there's probably no need.

Also people can think sorries but not express them as they might feel it would worry the other person, especially if that person is a worrier!

i have sene this in DH's family. It can end up as being a problem, 'don't; want to worry so and so, you know how they are.' maybe you could do some CBT or learn mindfulness to deal with your worries?

I’m (female) not much of a worrier. I also think no news is probably good news unless there’s actually a missed arrangement for contact.
I don’t think worrying = love.

I worry excessively. It's the most burdensome remaining symptom of the anxiety that I used to suffer greatly from. I think it syarted after my mum died when I was quite young and I worried a great deal about my dad, I would panic if he didn't answer his phone etc. The worry I feel around my dc is the single worst part of being a parent. Dp doesn't worry much at all I don't think, I'm glad as he helps keep me calm.

No, DH doesn't worry much. I'm glad about that because I'm very good at worrying and he helps to keep me rational. The family doesn't need two worriers.

I agree with other posters. I don't think there is a correlation between worry and love.
I too presume all is well unless I hear otherwise.
When they are away, I assume they are having a great time and if there is a problem then they are usually resiliant enough to resolve it, or they will get in touch.
I sleep well.

YABU to equate excessive worrying with somehow loving or caring more.