To be scared about this attraction I'm feeling?

[justwonderingtbh]

I've name changed for this post, but a long time poster.
I'm 22 years old and have just started a new office job. There was another newbie at the same time as me so we were trained together and have now become friends.
I found myself having a bit of a crush on him, he's tall, got a tattoo sleeve, great hair and a good beard, dresses well too.
I don't shit where I eat so wouldn't ever want anything to happen anyway but I do feel attracted to him - a lot!
Ive found myself fantasising about him and I assumed he was around 23/24. I've just found out that he's 17! I feel disgusted in myself! I feel so ashamed, he's still a minor! I feel like some sort of predator

www.wrexham.gov.uk/english/env_services/health_safety/tattoo_reporting.htm
you have to be 18 to get tattoo even parents cant give permission

I'm laughing at that beard comment
Yeah I must've been thinking about piercings or something, I think it is the tattoos and beard that makes him look so much older

Ask when he's 18, don't see the huge deal.

Are you sure he is only 17? Illegal to tattoo a minor, and a 'full sleeve' must b a pro job.

He's 17 and he's got a tattoo sleeve? They take quite a lot of work and time don't they? That's an awful lot of lies he's told there.

Wait until he's 18. If you're still in touch with each other then and like each other then do something about it. Leave it for now. Your feelings might wear off. It's not a big gap when you're both older but I can understand why it makes you uncomfortable now.

Are you sure the tattoo is real?

I've known a lot of people to get tattoos underage, I remember a girl in my year at school got one at 14 and then a few of my mates started getting them at 16/17.
But you do make a point that a full sleeve would surely have taken a while or even a few sessions? But why would he lie and say he's younger? God I'm confused

I think there probably is a difference mentally between a 17 year old and a 22 year old that isn’t there with a 27 year old and a 33 year old. 17 is young, not long out of school, probably not been financially independent for long etc. I’m also really sceptical about the ‘she looked 18’ types - as you say, he told you himself how old he was, but there are always clues in conversation that hint towards age. Like, tv shows you watched or ‘where were you when X happened’ conversations.

If you think a beard is good then go for it 👍

Probably one of these:

My oh is six years younger than me but I met him at 28. Not always the case but most people do their growing up between 17-22ish. If he was 20 then it feels different. Not exactly sure why.

A full sleeve at 17? My concern would be infections. A tattoo shop that is happy to illegally tattoo a minor (and we are talking a lot of work there over several sessions so it wasn’t a one-off) probably doesn’t pay too much attention to other requirements of the business also, Nanette hygiene.

My husband is 8 years older than me but the difference is we didn’t know each other as children or teenagers. We were both divorcees and over 30 when we met.

Oh my god that's another thing! He rents a house with his friend, surely you can't do that at 17? Unless the housemate is older. But why woudk he lie about being a child?

My ex was 17 and I waited (all of 2 days) until he turned 18 before I would go on a date with him, I can understand that “oh my god it’s under 18” feeling but he is an adult at that point and it’s not a huge age gap. He was pretty mature and had a great work ethic for his age but ultimately still wanted to “be cool” and impress his friends which took him down a rough path and it didn’t end well

You certainly shouldn’t be ashamed though

Do you have children?

If he works he can pay rent. He might not be on the tenancy agreement but no reason he cant be living away from home. It does sound like he is older but as you say why would you say you are 17 if you are a bit older?

Don't think there's anything wrong with you fancying him, personally. Especially if he looks older. It's not that big a gap. I wouldn't have dated someone that age when I was your age, because I've found younger men to be mostly immature, but I don't think you need to feel bad about the attraction. You don't choose who you fancy.

I’m also really sceptical about the ‘she looked 18’ types - as you say, he told you himself how old he was, but there are always clues in conversation that hint towards age. Like, tv shows you watched or ‘where were you when X happened’ conversations

...yeah, cos that’s exactly the type of conversation you have on a night out 🤣

That’s a small age gap really. He sounds fairly mature, renting / working etc. Maybe see how it pans out.

...yeah, cos that’s exactly the type of conversation you have on a night out 🤣

What kind of conversation do you have on a night out with a fifteen year old so you can convince yourself she’s 18?

How does knowing what programmes someone has watched give you an idea of their age? All my kids watch Netflix, Dave and download various programmes. My 18 year old son is as I type this absolutely pissing himself laughing at Dads Army. Would you think he was 40+ if he told you he watched it?

I meant the ‘remember Art Attack?!’ types of conversations, rather than ‘please give me a list of 70s sitcoms you’ve seen recently and I’ll decide your age based solely on that’

My husband was 18 when I met him, and I was 29.
Took a good while to convince me, but we’ve been married 10 years now, together for 13.
He was one of those people, though, who were never really a teenager - I imagine he was born an old soul. Most of his friends are older.

I think I just have it in my head that an adult with someone under 18 is really wrong

That's because it is really wrong.

"Someone under 18" is also known as a "child".