To ask you to help me decide which life I want?

[ExtraPineappleExtraHam]

So I've just seen a new job on Indeed this morning. I've got loads of relevant experience which makes me think that if I we successful I could ask for a figure at the top end of the salary expectations.
Trouble is, I only started a new job in November. It was supposed to be my forever job as it's ten minutes walk from home and five minutes from dd's new school (she starts reception in September.) I've managed to get my contract changed to 9.30-2.30 most days so I can do every pick up and drop off. However, the pay is awful. It's for the NHS so no pay increase in sight, and they've just made all the people on the band above me redundant so it's unlikely another role in my hospital will turn up. My supervisor even told me that I was in the wrong place if I wanted career progression.
When I accepted the job I thought this would be ok as the 'benefits' outweighed the rubbish pay. Now I'm struggling so much that I'm not sure I can live on £800 a month forever!
The new job is a 45 minute commute away and the hours are going to be hard to find childcare for as they're 7.45 starts. The pay is so exceptional though that it really would be life changing for us. The best option would be for my dp to quit his job which is minimum wage, so he could do school drop off and pick ups and look after them on Saturdays whilst I worked. He could find a job on similar money working a few hours in a supermarket or factory. The pay couldn't be any worse so wouldn't this make more sense as I have the ambition and degree? He would agree that I am more likely to get a better job than he is, I'm not trying to be harsh.
Would you consider it or stick to the original plan? Obviously this is all hypothetical as I haven't even applied, let alone had an interview!

Are you sure you're getting everything you're entitled to regarding tax credits etc?

Every Sat and 1 in 4 Sundays is very likely going to mean you DP cant just get a part time job in a supermarket then unless you have other child care in place.

You'd probably be eligible for a free OU course - would you consider doing something like that in your free time, while keeping your current job?

@HollowTalk we only get the childcare element. Which doesn't cover all of our childcare for two under fives.

I agree - your partner wouldn't get a supermarket job if he couldn't work weekends.

Will it cover all of your younger child's childcare in September?

I'd love to retrain as a social worker but with a 4 year old and a 2 year old and working 29
hours, I'd find it hard to study for another degree or post grad.

My bff works at Sainsbury's working nights so I was thinking about that sort of thing. She works Sunday night and that's it for weekends.

@HollowTalk no, my ds only gets his 30 hours from next January.

I think you need to do your sums, if it’s only for the money. How much will your take home pay be on the new wage after tax, NI and pension? How much will your commute cost you? That’s your starting point.

Then how much is your DH going to lose by reducing his hours? Will there be any change in child care costs? Will your wage increase reduce your tax credits?

Once you’ve offset the travel costs, DH wage drop and any other expense changes is the net figure going to be life changing? Is the change so great that it outweighs the work life balance you currently have?

If it is go for it, very few men worry about taking a full time job and longer commute, you will just be swapping roles, it works for some families. Your DH will need to be on board with the shift in roles if you don’t want to end up doing more than your share.

I also think you need to sit down and work the finances out very, very carefully to ensure you have offset the additional cost of commuting and loss of some of your DH's earnings against the new potential wage.
Also, and sorry to be such a misery, but bear in mind if you were to split up your DH may well get residence and you'd be paying him maintenance.
If you could find a way to start working towards training as a social worker that might be a better idea.

And check those commuting times as well. In a city where there is a lot of traffic and a never ending amount of roadworks a 45 min commute easily becomes 90 mins.

If your dp cant get a job. Would you be any better financially on just your wage?

I don’t think that commute is worth it for the money. Look for something better and then swap roles with dp.

And check what your take home wage would be minus a pension contribution, because you should have one.

To be in for 7.45am, there won't be much traffic.

As you've mentioned an hourly rate rather than a salary, is it temp?

You say you'd be working 29 hours a week.

After tax it's looking like 1400 per month from my rudimentary calculations.

Is that better than both of you working?

I’m in the minority but I’d stick with the job you have

Then maybe retrain as a social worker when dc are older? Experience in the mental health field might help your application too.

Apply for the job (but as a PP said you are really going to have to work that CV) and IF You get the job then make the decision. It’ll be good experience if you do the interview and brush up your CV whether you get it/take it or not. At the moment there isn’t really a decision to be made.

I don’t meant to sound rude but if your DP wants to be the main breadwinner he needs to get himself a degree like have done. In the meantime tell him to swallow his pride and do what is best for the family.

Go for that job and good luck!!

To be in for 7.45am, there won't be much traffic

Depends on where the commute is. And there certainly might be more on the homeward commute.
Also if DP is doing nights and school drop offs/childcare when is he supposed to sleep?

Can you afford, food, heating, basic clothing and housing on your currrent wage, if so everything about this new job becomes a trade off really and only you can decide want benefits you and the family overall, economically, spiritually, mentally

I wouldn't. Not for £14 an hour in a similar role. It'll be eaten up by commuting, wear and tear on the car, loss of DH earnings and loss of tax credits (even if you're only getting a few quid a week) and you'll end up coming home with the same amount of disposable income for twice the stress. I've fallen into this trap myself and it was an absolute pain. Stick to your current job for another couple of years and once your youngest is in nursery you'll be able to retrain. Lots of people are mature students with children

The more I think about it the more I like my current job. When I hear people constantly trying to juggle who's picking up and who's dropping off and navigating traffic and bus routes I know that I've made these decisions for a reason. A 20 walk through a wood every morning, having a job I like, feeling like I'm being challenged, all great things that I should feel grateful for.
So it pays badly? I can always do a few bank H.C.A shifts which'll hopefully bump it up and maybe think long term about social work. Thanks guys for all the help

I think you also need to consider the fact that the NHS are quite supportive if you need to take time off to look after DC if they are off school, in the Trust I work for you can have 5 dependency days in a year which is s huge help. There's never good news when you phone flashes up and it's the school ringing...