Parents visiting. I’m moving.

[Debbie7612]

We live in a three bed and late last year, decided to make separate rooms for our 6 year old and his two year old sister. Effectively, we have no rooms for guests. My mother has been talking about visiting us in the Uk and says she wants to go to Centreparcs and we will come up and see her so I never really mentioned to her we did not have a room anyway.

Two months ago we put our home on the market. Now we have a buyer and hopefully moving by the end of May or mid June. Mum has been saying she will like to come and that she will stay with us. She doesn’t stop there, she’s asked her sister to fill out her Visa forms saying she will stay with us. I got really livid as a. I was not informed of her change of plans b. No time had I ever discussed my Aunty visiting me. This is completely out of the blues.
I called my mum out. Why is she inviting guests to my place and asking them to come visit me when no one bloody discussed with me first. She apologised and said whatever (I can’t remember)
A few minutes ago she’s texted me and said that my Aunty can come to my place after she has left the Uk so basically they won’t be around at the Same time. So I had to let all loose and tell her how bloody inconvenient it is anyway. How I’m moving. How the new house needs work and how it’s Not a good idea to be Visiting.
I feel a bit guilty because my Aunty was always there for me back home to be fair. At important events. Cooked at my call to bar, helped at my wedding and engagement so really I should make room for her. I just can’t seem to understand why she can’t call me herself and we’ll make travel plans together. I don’t know why my mum feels it’s ok to impose people on me simply because I might ‘owe’ them. I don’t understand why my mother will never (this is not the first time) communicate her travel plans with me instead of just picking dates and expecting me to be ok with it. Pleas tell me, am I being unreasonable?

Of course YNBU. Your home is not a hotel for people to recommend to each other.
If it doesn't suit, it doesn't suit. End of.

You're not being unreasonable, but I wonder if there's a cultural element in play here. My family is half British, half Asian and the expectations from the Asian side of the family saw my mum putting up with a parade of relations, extended relations and friends of friends and goodness knows who else coming to stay over the years. The worst was one of my uncle's business associate's daughters, who came to learn English and stayed an entire summer!

Luckily as second generation I get away with a lot less of this nonsense (not least because I'm married to a British man and the implication is heaven forfend we inconvenience him) but I've had a few instances where stuff like this has come up. I appreciate financially it might not be feasible but last time I got lumbered like this I found a flat on AirbnB literally round the corner from our house and rented it for the period my guests were supposed to stay. It cost £100 but was worth every penny for the lack of row and the fact that it was for some of my favourite much-loved relations (who I still would have killed if they'd been in our space, causing us to bunk up a 1 and 3 year old DC who would keep all of us awake etc etc). They actually really liked it and I was able to spin it as me wanting them to be comfortable / not disturbed by the DC etc. It also meant DH and I weren't hosting them the entire time!

Is some kind of compromise like that doable to keep the peace if that's what you'd like to do? (and I appreciate you might not want to!). I'd never used AirbnB before but it was much cheaper than I thought - although admittedly if you live in a nicer town you'll end up paying more I'm sure!

Agent Penny inwill Be taking you up on that but I cannot even afford to pay for that now because every penny we have is going into the new home. But I will be asking them to cough up
Or stay back.