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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if ds1 will struggle in halls

18 replies

User50007 · 19/05/2019 12:48

Ds1 plans to go to university next year. He will be 24 in August. He has autism and has had a problematic education hence starting uni at 24. He wants to go into halls I’m wondering due to the age gap he will be five/six years older than the students starting in 2020 if he will have problems fitting in? As from what I understand a lot of mature students aren’t in halls.

OP posts:

mouldyhousemouldylife · 19/05/2019 12:49

Halls usually have flats for mature students or quieter blocks etc. I'd get in touch with them as every uni is different.

FVFrog · 19/05/2019 12:53

Definitely contact the accommodation office at the uni. Your DS will definitely not want to be in a regular hall with the 18 years olds. There will be accommodation more suitable for his needs given his age and ASD and he should get priority on hall placements if you/he explain the situation and get additional appropriate forms to fill in if needed to get priority placement. Good luck to your DS!

Original poster

User50007 · 19/05/2019 12:55

Thank you, he’s never been into drinking/partying even when younger so Im thinking he would definitely struggle with the usual university lifestyle:

OP posts:

CatherineVelindre · 19/05/2019 13:00

Contact the university - I'd go to student welfare or enabling rather than just accommodation.
Where I work, we offer an early settling in / quiet transition which can involve parents/carers/ supporters if necessary, and this encompasses accommodation and other services.

LIZS · 19/05/2019 13:01

Some unis will have options for placing mature students together, possibly mixed with postgrads, and similar for those with additional needs. If he contacts the Student Support team they can assist with Accommodation advice.

musicposy · 19/05/2019 13:02

I think every uni is different. DD went to uni a year older, thinking she'd be the oldest. She's found that a surprising number of her friends and flatmates in halls are older than her, a couple of them 24 or 25.
I'd second to speak to the uni as they'll know what mix of students they have and can house him appropriately.

PeachNut · 19/05/2019 13:02

My DS with ASD went to Lincoln Uni. They were brilliant and did an extra transition weekend in the summer. The support has been incredible. Definitely speak to accommodation

Tiscold · 19/05/2019 13:14

There's loads of support for students with sen and autism etc.

Make sure he puts it on his application and speaks to the uni on how they can help him, there's lots of adjustments and extra support they can make.

mumwon · 19/05/2019 13:21

contact NAS & find out if there is a local adult social group -I know for a fact there is one in Cambridge & quite a few students with asd go there. certainly talk to admin at uni & find out what local support they might have for someone within the spectrum

ForalltheSaints · 19/05/2019 13:22

Seek the support of the university and I agree with the suggestion about accommodation for older students. It may be the change of lifestyle/routine and independent living that may be more of an issue than the age of others, I suspect.

TheFormidableMrsC · 19/05/2019 13:24

My eldest is in halls currently. I am not sure of the set up at the uni your DS may go to but in hers they have "flats"...so it's separate rooms each with an en-suite shower and then they have a shared kitchen/eating area. There are six residents per "flat". In DD's case, there is one autistic lad who fits in very well. Does tend to keep himself to himself much of the time, but I have met him a few times and he's really happy and settled and has in fact chosen to stay on in halls until the summer hols despite the fact his course has now ended. DD's little brother, my youngest, is autistic so that's enabled her to understand how her fellow resident manages things! They appear to have good SEN support and will house him appropriately. Good luck, I hope he has a fantastic time!

BlueMerchant · 19/05/2019 13:27

In my second year I stayed in University accommodation flats. Tended to be for 2/3/4th year students who had enough of the partying in the halls but who didn't for whatever reason want to live 'out'.

SuckingDieselFella · 19/05/2019 13:36

Some universities have alcohol-free halls. And some are better than others at supporting additional needs. If I were him I'd focus on this type of uni. There's no point in applying for the ideal course if there's no support when he gets there.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45171571

IAmcuriousyellow · 19/05/2019 13:38

I had similar concerns. Mine is in “quiet” halls - he’s a year older than the other 7 but finds them immature and annoying!! He complains about the drunken singing in the kitchen and can’t believe how “uncivilised’ they are! He gets along with them well enough but hasn’t made any friends, perhaps unsurprisingly... he doesn’t like their standards either and talks about how they haven’t done any domestic training and leave washing up for days and make the cleaner threaten to fine them. He’s happy with the degree however! He’d be happy to be completely alone but that’s not the point of being at uni for an autistic kid is it!

crazyasafox · 19/05/2019 13:39

@User50007

I think going in halls will be OK, but you do need to tell the uni.

My DD had a friend at uni who was autistic (male) and he was placed in a 3 person room/apartment next to her (there were 2 girls in there with him.) They were lovely and kind and quiet, and they AND my DD and her 2 pals in HER flat really looked after him. He was so chatty and confident after just a few weeks.

I hope he is happy whatever he does.

But yeah do contact student services, so they can place him near to (or with) quiet people, with similar interests...

spanieleyes · 19/05/2019 13:40

My son, with ASD , was in halls for 3 out of the 4 years at Uni, he managed Ok, but even when sharing in a cluster of 6 flats, managed to get to the end of the year without knowing the names of anyone else in the cluster! The uni were very good at putting him in with more "mature" students Just ask the welfare department or accommodation services for some support, they are usually very helpful!

stucknoue · 19/05/2019 13:47

Contact the university, most have quiet blocks these days and here there's a postgraduate/mature student section away from the main undergraduate halls close to town. But also check the asd support arrangements - dd has found them excellent though she chose to live at home as it's only a couple of km to university, nearer than the halls! She's co hosting a meet and greet for asd freshers next year with the autism coordinator, very proud that she is even willing (though them paying her might be an influencing factor!) dd doesn't socialise much with other students though has made friends through societies rather than her course. It's also possible he may be better off in private accommodation in self contained unit so no need to share - it was the thought of sharing a toilet or kitchen that put dd off moving away

NotSorry · 19/05/2019 13:50

so Im thinking he would definitely struggle with the usual university lifestyle

^ no such thing ^

my DS applied for quieter halls as he's not into partying - lots of choice for different kinds of people

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