Please help with potty training I don't know what to do

[Houseonahill]

DD is 2 and 3 months, about 6 weeks ago she did a wee on the potty of her own accord and was really pleased so I thought I would start potty training.

She started really well, no accidents in the house or at the child minders but would wee in the car or when we were out but I thought it was going well. She was weeing every 20-30 minutes but I thought it was just excitement of knowing she could IYSWIM.

Then about 2 weeks ago she got constipated and a water infection and started to refuse to use the toilet. I didn't realise she had a water infection for a few days because she didn't have any symptoms really. The GP said to stop potty training for a week until she was better so I did.

I've been trying again for the last 2 days but she is wetting literally every 20-30 mins and only doing about 1 in 10 wees on the potty. I've put a pull up on her this morning out of desperation and having hardly any clean dry clothes left!

I think she sees it as completely optional, she will use it if she wants to like a game. Everyone I've spoken to says don't stop once you start but everything I've read says she probably wasn't ready to begin with.

Do I persevere? Do I stop? When we stopped for a week on GPS advice sometimes she still asked to go on the potty, so if i stop should I let her if she asks or is this just reinforcing that it's optional? I'm so confused and I think DD is too

I would stop personally. And then go back at it in 2-3 months time. Give her a complete break and you as well!!!!

We had this - thought she was ready and then she spent an entire morning wetting herself. So we put her back in nappies but left the potties around. She used them every now and then.

After about three months, we tried again and this time it has worked! She can go up to 90mins/ 2 hours between wees.

Honestly it sounds like she's nearly there but maybe just needs a few more months to mature.

Good luck!

I used pull ups with ds but I would take him to the loo ( he didn't use a potty) first thing and would tell him to go every hour, I wouldn't ask him if he needed to go I'd just tell him to go or we'd go together. Big praise etc if he did. Always went to the loo before going out and we went and found the toilets when we were out. At home lots of time in pants but pull ups when we were out. Eventually he started going without asking. Took a while but he got the hang of it

Thank you for replying, I was leaning towards stopping for a couple of months but was scared of making it worse. I will try that and see how get on.

Shes actually pretty young for it. They trick you, they indicate they're ready at a really early age and you follow along and it all goes to shite.

All the research shows that the longer you hold off to about 3, the easier it is and the faster they get it. Developmentally they are way ahead.

We did our first at 3 years 2 months and he got it in 3 days with no accidents in between. Our second is now 2.5 and I'm not even thinking about it till after the summer.

You have to optimise your chance of success! So if I were you I'd just abandon it for a few months.

Oh Crap is a really good book we used - very effective and to the point. No reward charts, no pleading or cajoling, no treats. It’s quite military but we were done in a week

Meant to add that ds was 2.5 at least when we started.

Going every 20-30mins sounds too frequent to be "right", so she is either still suffering from UTI or something else is going on.

Toilet training has few steps, one is to recognise you need to wee (maybe she is in early phase of this) and later comes the ability to hold for a reasonable time until you get to the toilet... she isn't mastering this obviously. When they are distracted, both these go backwards about 5 steps.

In my experience, when they are ready it all happens quite quickly and easily, when it's too early it is beset with accidents and problems. I would leave it for at least few months and try again. 2 is very early to be TT, so not like she is going to be "lagging" to wait a while.

I would stop, sounds like she’s not ready. Our two were both 2 and 9 months before we started, although they showed none of the “signs” of being ready even then. Took less than a week for both, so they clearly were ready.

In my view if you’re constantly dealing with accidents then they’re not ready.

She is too young, either they are ready or they are not.
None of mine had any accidents when they were ready - which was the sign.

But I agree, you do put them on the toilet every hour at least.

I love the potette, it made my life so much easier when going outside, no need to frantically rush to try to find public toilets, easy to use even in planes, they are fab.

Thank you for all the advice, I agree she's probably not ready and will hold off for a couple of months. Thank you for taking the time to reply