To ask you all to choose for me...,

[helpwithadvice]

So if you loved your house (rented) , the area, work/school/teenage ds work is all within walking distances, BUT life was pretty unbearable due to people you have to live around and didn't feel safe would you

1/ suck it up because of your location and magically hope it somehow got better

2/ Move to a better house 20 miles away (larger house) but have to commute everyday for at least the next year due to GCSES. Bearing in mind also ds will start driving lessons next month so if he passed he could drive himself to school but it would be on busy roads rather than local roads (is this something over people would worry about in advance?)

New house would be 20 mins away on quiet days but prob 40 in the morning rush. Just now school is 5 mins drive on quiet days but prob 15 in morning rush if not walking which takes about 25 mins

Situation that I have to live in effects my mental health, once again I've not slept in a few nights

If I didn't feel safe in my own home then I'd be moving!
Is there no slightly closer happy medium than 20 miles away?

I would move. Before I moved I was beginning to feel unsafe and not like some of my neighbours. I was worried about moving but it was the best thing for me. I have been much happier. How do your children feel about moving?

Choose the place where you feel more comfortable at. I have been in your position and choose to stay but although I don’t like some of the characters in the streets nearby at all, I love my neighbours and feel safe here. If the people were unbearable and I was afraid to go out of the house every time the neighbours were around or those neighbours were having a bad influence in DS, I would move no doubt.

But... also check it is not your mental health playing tricks on you. Sometimes (just some times) things are not as bad an overwhelmed mind makes us think.

Is there anything that can be done about the people you live near? Police etc? Is there a closer option to move to?

I'm almost in tears at the relief that the first few posters would move as well. I know my anxiety is making me feel worse about all this but the situation is definitely there. It's not physical fear but childish bullying by adults who group together like flies round poop

No nothing big red it's all done when they are together and I'm alone with my dog or when one of my kids walks past but if I go and confront them they just start giggling between themselves as their always in a pack. Police would have nothing to go on and I'm not making diary's for months when everything would be denied by them and I've no proof

For me option 2, as it sounds inconvenient rather than 'pretty unbearable' as you have described your current situation. If you're renting too, could you try it and then reassess if it's actually not working out? I hope it all works out for you, it sounds like you feel quite threatened

Yeah, I'd move OP. The busy roads on your son's drive to school wouldn't bother me - if he passes his test, he will be licensed to drive on all roads. Also, don't most accidents happen within five minutes of home because people get complacent?

Move!

I forgot to add one parent already does this commute but from A to B if we move the other parent will be doing it from B to A (though the roads may be busier this way) it's more as much as ds says he couldn't care either way I worry that when he's there he'll be miserable 🤪

Sorry I meant 😟 to be the last emoji!

Definitely move. In a few years your DS will likely move out anyway (University etc.).

An extra 20mins on a commute is nothing if it makes you feel safe in your own home.

Definitely move

I would move too.

Thank you everyone you've no idea how much you've helped

I'd move, especially as the longer journey is only for a year.

Yes I think my mind is totally made up now