Nursery before holiday

[QueenGoblin]

Our son goes to nursery once a week, he only started at the beginning of April so it is all new to him still. He is happy when he's there but drop off is always rough. He always has disrupted sleep on Monday nights - waking up very upset and taking a while to settle back down. We've all also been much iller since he started nursery. Last week we had a notice that there had been a case of Scarlet fever in a different room.

We're off on holiday the day after his day at nursery. I think this is perfect as it will give me time to finish packing and picking up any last minute items.

My husband has just announced that he does not want our son to attend, 'just in case'.

I'm frustrated because I did not plan on doing errands and things with my son that day and there's no obvious reason why he shouldn't go (like him being sick). But my husband insists this is for the best and that everyone he has spoken to says it is crazy to go to nursery so close to your holiday. I feel like he is only considers this an option because I don't work though.

So AIBU and he's right? Or is he just trying to make my life unnecessarily more stressful?

In case what exactly? I would take my daughter the day before a holiday. Is your husband going to be at home looking after her while you get things done?

How old is your son? A main issue in the upset maybe that it is only once a week. Can you up his sessions for a shirt while to help him settle then drop them down?

I would take him to nursery before holiday otherwise it will be even more time between sessions.

He does realise you still have to pay even if you don't send her right?

Also, in case of what?? Perfect chance to get stuff done while they're at nursery.

I've been on AL thurs and fri and still sent dd to nursery

Tell your husband that unless he is willing to take an extra day off work to look after his son, your little boy is going to nursery.

Tell him that absolutely fine for you ds to stay off as long as he is able to take the day off to look after him.
I have worked out the hard way you don't win any medals for being the peace keeper. You just end up stressed and unwell.
Do whatever will make the day easier for all.

My Dsis also doesn't send her child to nursery so close to a family holiday in case DS picks up a bug so I kinda understand where your DH is coming from. Especially as you have had a letter about Scarlett Fever

@WheresTheEvidence he is 20 months old. I don't think the upset is a big problem right now, it's still early days and he is adjusting.

He's going to work in the morning for a meeting then working from home in the afternoon. So childcare would be completely left to me. When I suggested otherwise, he said ds could go and stay with his parents (I haven't had a night away from my son yet and this seems like too much of a petty reason to start!)

To be honest, he isn't completely clear about what his problem is but I think it's around sickness as he only started bringing this up after we had the notice about scarlet fever. It's a long flight and I guess he doesn't want to risk it.

We took a night flight on a day LO had been to nursery. Just picked her up 2 hours earlier than usual. Let him go in if he is well enough, run your errands and pack in peace.

You can pick up a bug anywhere. The plane included...

My son had scarlet fever age 5. It took 2 visits to tbe gp, one visit to a@e and go ogling symptoms by me before hexwas finally diagnosed and given tbe right treatment. He was absent from school for 2 weeks and seriously ill. in your situation I would be keeping him home tomorrow

So childcare would be completely left to me. so he's going to nursery then

He’s being daft. Send him to nursery.

I work in early years and will say it’s incredibly difficult to settle a child in one session a week.

Please consider 2.

Completely separate issues, but, in terms of what you were asking, your dh's choice is simple - either your ds goes to Nursery on the day he usually goes or your dh does all the packing / prepping or your dh takes him out for a day to give you the time you would have had whilst ds was at Nursery.

Re the question you didn't ask, one day a week is very difficult for a little one to settle at Nursery. If you aren't at work and this is just to give you a break, he'd be better going 2 x 1/2 day so there isn't so long between sessions. In effect, he must feel like he is starting again every week. A Lot of Nurseries won't take dc for one day a week because it can be such an issue.

Germs love kids under 5. They are considered to be 'super spreaders' for a reason. Incubation periods vary, but if your son is ill whilst on holiday it's unlikely that he caught it the day before going...he was probably incubating it from the week before. It is infuriating that they pick up EVERYTHING at this age...there is nothing you can do about it and very little you can do to prevent it...unless you fancy keeping the little one indoors for the rest of their lives in sterile conditions?

HOWEVER, you know the facts...scarlet fever is present in another room.

Scarlet fever is a contagious infection, and if I were in your situation I wouldn't take him into nursery. It sounds like it's going to be inconvenient to you, but it might just be worth it if you can avoid him becoming unwell. You are in a fortunate position where you have a choice here.Do as you wish, but if it were me....I'd have him at home, suffer the shit that comes with having him at home...and make your partner take the share of the shit! x Good luck x

I agree with your husband sorry. Friend kept her ds away from playgroup when chicken pox was going round and they were off to Florida. Their child avoided getting them until after the holiday.

This isn’t a nursery in north London by any chance is it? We are having exactly the same dilemma!