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AIBU?

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Original poster

So I'm an arsehole!

41 replies

classedasarsehole · 18/05/2019 16:39

DP walked out of a meeting, we both volunteer for group and it was AGM, DP anxiety is very heightened, walked out told me to fuck off, launched paperwork, and left stomping off,
DP feels I should of gone after him, but meeting was about to start being a committee member I had a responsibility to read report out and so on, DP has decided I should of gone after him and calmed him down, and reassured him, but I never I felt embarrassed and upset. Then when meeting was over had few texts, and if DP stayed I would of driven him home, and come back for socialising component, and he is saying that I could of come home to check on him and find out he was ok, as I would of done that anyway as should of brought him home. Instead I stayed and went straight to meal, didn't call him or anything, just sent quick message to say I pop home quickly after meal before I start shift at work,
So got to DP and he now saying I'm unsupportive and should of checked on him ASAP such as after meeting coming to his or calling, I felt awful upset embarrassed and was trying to socialise as I hardly ever do, self employed 60/7 hours, then part time work on top. DP saying he just wants me to apologise or try to understand, I don't think I done anything wrong. I did go and see him after whole event, AGM meal then straight to his after he decided he couldn't cope and should of called or made more of effort to go see him or call him! DP hasn't been this bad or ever done something like this for a while, was completely shocked?

aibu To of waited until after meeting then on to meal so 3.5 hours after he walked out to see him?

OP posts:
Dieu · 18/05/2019 17:19

Fucking twat. How dare he embarrass you like that Thanks

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/05/2019 17:20

So he had a tantrum, expected you to drop everything to pander to it, told you to fuck off and threw his toys when you wouldn't, and he wants YOU to apologise?

Err, no.

learieonthewildmoor · 18/05/2019 17:25

He should be apologising to you.

DaisiesAreOurSilver · 18/05/2019 17:27

So he had a tantrum, expected you to drop everything to pander to it, told you to fuck off and threw his toys when you wouldn't, and he wants YOU to apologise?

Err, no.

Exactly. Rethink this relationship, OP.

LellyMcKelly · 18/05/2019 17:28

Prick. No way should he get away with treating anyone like that. Anxiety gives you the right to leave the meeting. It does not give you the right to humiliate other people and throw a massive attention seeking strop. Big man baby.

urkidding · 18/05/2019 17:29

He is a spoilt brat, and you treating him like a child doesn't help. Just because you have anxiety issues, doesn't mean you behave like a spoilt child, loads of people have them and leave the room or apologise and have a quiet time .

MrsCasares · 18/05/2019 17:29

Controlling manipulative behaviour.

Don’t apologise.

BaaLamby · 18/05/2019 17:30

OP I have been abused most of my life by a violent alcoholic father then also by an abusive husband. Because of this I suffer severe anxiety but NEVER would I, or have I behaved like that! He is abusive and using ‘anxiety’ as an excuse. You also sound nervous of him by the tone of your post. Tell him to get to counselling to sort himself out. You are NOT responsible for him. AND in case you haven’t worked it out, HE owes YOU an apology. Jeez.

LuckyLou7 · 18/05/2019 17:40

You are not an arsehole. Your husband is. He's behaved in a childish, entitled manner and now expects you to apologise? No way. Tell him to get to fuck, manage his anxiety himself, and please, never take the blame for someone else's bad behaviour.

Jux · 18/05/2019 17:47

Why on earh would youpander to this?He's not a toddler and you had important stuff to do. Not surprised you feel a strong need to socialise more when you're stuck with this child. Ignore him and his silly "what about MEEEEEEE"-ness.

I'd be expecting an apology.

Original poster
classedasarsehole · 18/05/2019 17:51

My main issue is he never cries in front of me but always breaks down in front of mates/ family, he won't ask for help or cry! I have anxiety when it all gets too much I just sob, and talk he does listen and panders to all my needs.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 18/05/2019 17:54

He’s pathetic.

Ginkypig · 18/05/2019 18:04

No if you let this be ok then this will always be the attitude.

Lots of people have anxiety or panic and while it does affect how people feel and therefore behave it absolutely does not give anyone the right to treat Somoza he did you today!

I have severe on going chronic mn issues including complex ptsd which means I know all about panic attacks etc but I have never ever spoken or treated my partner the way he behaves towards you today!

He is an adult and is responsible for his own health and he has to learn how to balance his mh issues which being in the world only he can do it no one can do it for him.

You can empathise and be supportive but if he treats you badly then he has to understand that the ramifications of that are you will not be around to bear that from him.

It's not fair!

fc301 · 18/05/2019 18:14

If you let yourself believe that any part of this is about something that you did/didn't do then you are saying yes to a life of this toxic manipulative shit.

Or you could take the good advice on this thread.

He may have anxiety. It doesn't excuse his behaviour. It's not your job to fix him.

JeezOhGeeWhizz · 18/05/2019 18:19

What a loser.
Get rid of him.

Ginkypig · 18/05/2019 18:31

Someone not Somoza!

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