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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to send ds to a school 1.2 miles away on foot

45 replies

WeCameToDance · 18/05/2019 15:16

My ds's current nursery is attached to a school that I always thought I would send him to. It is 0.6 miles away and we walk it as neither me or dh drive. However, it has come to my attention that the school are struggling with him and I am worried he is going to become harmed due to the schools lack of supervision. It has not come as much of a surprise as they were skeptical of taking him due to suspected sen and it took a fight to get him in there.
Anyway, there is another school in the area that is 1.2 miles away. It is well known in the area for being brilliant in it's provisions for children with additional needs and I'm really considering moving him there. I'm just concerned about the distance on foot. Does anyone walk that far to school? How do your children manage? I will also be pushing a 1 year old in a stroller. Is this doable? I feel like I have to make it work! I can't spent the next decade arguing with the school.

OP posts:

eurochick · 18/05/2019 16:01

Anyway, not anywhere.

Original poster

WeCameToDance · 18/05/2019 16:04

I don't mind doing double if he is happier there. I also would prefer not to have to worry about what undesirable behavours I'll be hearing about this time!
How does the transport angle work for children who are not currently diagnosed? At the minute the only thing we know is that he has a global developmental delay. He was due an appointment with his doctor this month but they are running late so it won't be until July now. The main issue that they are having is that he has no impulse control and no fear of the teachers. As I was told yesterday they are finding that 'we need eyes in the back of our heads to stop him from misbehaving'.

OP posts:

Original poster

WeCameToDance · 18/05/2019 16:06

Will check out a buggy board. He may well enjoy that! I'll test one out first to ensure that he understands how to use it.

OP posts:

CherryPavlova · 18/05/2019 16:16

My children all walked further than that every day come rain or shine when we moved and youngest started reception. It’s not very far at all. I kept a change of clothes in a kitbag on their peg in case they were saturated by a sudden downpour.

ManchesterBorn · 18/05/2019 16:20

It's completely fine, you are just too used to see people taking their car to go 3 houses down.

Buggy board for now, then scooter or bike when he gets older - he'll soon realise that it's faster and less tiring so will be asking for it. Spare set of clothes in your bag when it's pouring with rain. MN hates favours, but in the real world you might have school friends who could take him in car on really bad days, you get them for tea as a thank you.

We have cars, but my kids walk much more than that to walk the dog and they tend to do that every morning before school.

1.2 miles is reasonably a 30 mn walk, it's really not that far!

Kids will run for much more than half an hour after school in a park if you let them, they are not too tired.

stucknoue · 18/05/2019 16:24

Push forward with Sen diagnosis and talk to the Sen admissions team for early advice, September /October at the latest - if they decide which school can take him transport will probably be provided (if you choose a different school to catchment who are willing to take him you are on your own). As he's only at nursery, the school may be able to cope better?

stucknoue · 18/05/2019 16:27

He also has a year of growing up to do remember, his impulse control system may kick in!

Ilove31415926535 · 18/05/2019 16:28

My now teenage DC always walked 1.5-2 miles to school, since primary 3, unless the weather was completely foul (living in Scotland!) in which case I occasionally took pity on them and offered a lift. That was rare though!
I'd be looking into transport options if SEN are diagnosed, you never know unless you ask

user2928362 · 18/05/2019 16:29

Transport is unlikely to be provided if there is no physical need if the school is within 2 miles, and even if it was most parents of reception aged children would be reluctant to use it as it would mean not taking the child to school themselves and quite often be a source of stress in itself for many children.

LolaSmiles · 18/05/2019 16:33

We did that sort of walk as kids. It's not that far and totally manageable.
However, it was a bit grim when it was throwing it down on windy November days.

Kungfupanda67 · 18/05/2019 16:56

School child will be fine, we used to do a similar distance on scooter - my problems started when the toddler decided he didn’t want to stay in the buggy any more!

MollyButton · 19/05/2019 09:00

Transport might be provided if he has an SN, and is recognised as having poor impulse control. You also don't have to wait for an actual diagnosis to start the process to get an EHCP.
His present nursery might be in a good place to start the process as they "can't cope" with him.

Original poster

WeCameToDance · 19/05/2019 10:30

MollyButton you have in a way summed up my dilemma. Current nursery are struggling although I suspect they are not giving the children enough supervision. The complaints they have given me are situations that should have been spotted and dealt with immediately. The fact they didn't notice for a long enough period for him to actually carry them out in the first place concerns me.
The nursery have basically said that they are unable/unwilling to provide the attention he needs from the current staff but they are also unwilling to go to the local authority and start the ball rolling to get the help he needs. All the while they are filling me in on how he is behaving there and telling me he is trying to escape and insinuating that it wouldn't be entirely there fault if he does as if I'm not supposed to be concerned.

OP posts:

MollyButton · 19/05/2019 21:36

You can start the process for an EHCP yourself. Although I don't know that much about it, maybe try the SN board?
The present nursery are being lazy.

rainbowunicorn · 19/05/2019 22:19

That is really no distance at all. My kids walked to school most days and it was just under 1.5 miles to primary school. To be honest where we live at least half the children have a walk of at least a mile to one of the 4 primary schools in the area. It is less than 30 mins even with kids so shouldn't be a problem. Just make sure you have decent shoes/boots and waterproof coats/trousers that can be packed away.

suitcaseofdreams · 19/05/2019 22:29

Apply for an EHCP yourself. Start now, it takes time and you may have to appeal if they refuse to assess first time round (very common). You don’t need a diagnosis for an EHCP.
Meantime double check admissions criteria for the school further away, transferring to the nursery is unlikely to give you priority entry to Reception and if you don’t get EHCP naming the school in time then you may end up back where you started at nearer school....

lifetothefull · 19/05/2019 22:37

I would go for the better school. It's not that far and you'll get used to it. I used one of those bike trailers for a while for school run when kids were little.

BenjiB · 19/05/2019 22:45

You should choose the school that can meet his needs. If you then apply for an EHCP later on the school can be named in it. It’s really important to get the education setting right if your child has SEN.

BenjiB · 19/05/2019 22:49

@WeCameToDance - apply for the EHCP yourself. Schools can be very difficult when it comes to applying for an EHCP. It can be a long process so I’d get the bill rolling now. The LA will probably refuse to assess for one but that’s standard in most LA’s, they just want to see who will push it. IPSEA have a great website with lists of advice and model letters.

Ariela · 19/05/2019 23:00

When mine was little we often walked the 1.7 miles to our nearest school. We always did it a a bit of a nature walk stopping to loo at things: deer, rabbits, foxes, bluebells et, picking interesting sticks etc, with puddles up to a foot deep, so you had to walk round on grass - do be sure to take shoes to change from wellies and waterproof over trousers, In the height of wet weather we couldn't walk across the grass bit to the path otherwise you could find yourself stuck in knee deep mud. Then I took the car, as the other route is the (unlit, no pavement) road, a journey of probably over 2 miles. Much of the year I couldn't have got a buggy through the mud.

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