To have been pissed off?

[Flutra]

We have a weekly meeting at work where basically I present everything that colleagues are up to at work to a group of about 8 other colleagues and then discussions sometimes take place. I'm reading from an email put together by line managers and it's one of those meetings that could definitely be just an email circulated. I hate it, especially as I hate speaking in front of the group.

Anyway, at the most recent meeting while I was speaking, one colleague, who is also a 'friend' turned to the colleague next to him and whispered in her ear, while looking at me and laughed. I sensed it was about me but carried on. Then he wrote something in his notebook and showed it to this other colleague and another sat at the other side of him and he grinned. I later found out that he had wrote 'bored to fuck' and 'fucking wittering on'. All very juvenile stuff from a supposed professional in his late 40's. I shouldn't be bothered, but I am. Aibu?

Hell no you are not BU.

I’d raise it further, what a prick.

Why not circulate the email in advance rather than reading it out, then just quickly meet for any discussion? Just tell people that’s what will happen from next week. He was rude, but something positive can come of this if it gives you the impetus to change something you hate anyway.

I was thinking of raising it further but he's very good friends with someone very influential in our industry who I'm currently trying to get acquainted with to move up the ladder. In afraid of the repercussions. Also, another colleague who wasn't at the meeting, but who I confided in, suggested I might be being over sensitive.

They are immature, but I'd be bored to fuck listening so someone read our updates. If it can be sent by email then do so otherwise work on your delivery so the update isn't boring . An update should be 1-2 bullets per item given how much you have to cover.

I don't think you should raise the colleagues behaviour with anyone but him. Bullies hate being confronted

Hello ishoos, I've suggested that in the past but there is a senior manager who is nasty who says the format is staying this way. We also have an all staff meeting where staff discuss what theyve been up to anyway! This meeting is to weed out any issues anyone has. So pointless though!

Iboogy, senior management say I have to read it this way. I have absolutely no say in it.

Could you get him on side? Get him to bring it up with nasty boss?

YANBU to be annoyed.

I’d have stopped and asked him to share whatever was more interesting with the group though!

That's not bullying. He finds the meetings boring. Yabu you are being too sensitive.

I'd staff meeting with something like

"I know some think these meetings are but I have been informed I must do it this way. So let's get on with it ....."

I find pulling people up indirectly but letting them know I know usually stops them because they know they are caught. Confrontational ways can just cause more confrontation.

YANBU but you acknowledge yourself that this could have been an email.

I think you should use this an an opportunity - at your next meeting, say that you’re sure it hasn’t escaped everyone’s notice that a lot of the time this could be done as an email as you are simply delivering statements and not asking for any actions.

Therefore, you suggest that in the name of efficiency, you’ll circulate an agenda on the Monday and ask that if anyone wants to discuss in more detail they let you know, otherwise the meeting will not take place.

Then the onus is on them to read and digest and make their own decisions as to whether the topics need discussions.

That’s what I would do anyway. I absolutely hate meetings for meetings sake.

Wonder if he would have done that to a man.

You are being very sensitive but I can see your point.

I suggest that before the next meeting you get a flipchart and write "Bored to Fuck" in bold on a page - then cover the page with a top sheet.

At the start of your meeting say
"Thank you for coming - unfortunately at the last meeting this comment was made (at this point uncover the flip chart and show the wording) . Whilst I appreciate not everyone may like the format of these meetings I do feel such comments are extremely negative and totally unhelpful. Please be aware that the format of these meetings has been laid down by senior management so I suggest you express your concerns to them rather than causing disruption to this meeting"

Then continue as usual

We have a weekly meeting at work where basically I present everything that colleagues are up to at work to a group of about 8 other colleagues and then discussions sometimes take place. I'm reading from an email put together by line managers and it's one of those meetings that could definitely be just an email circulated. I hate it, especially as I hate speaking in front of the group.

Don't hold that meeting. Be more respectful of your staff. Not sure how you can be upset at someone discreetly trying to stave off boredom, while you are wasting their time.

I have absolutely no say in it.

Of course you do. You can ignore them. You can read through the email incredibly quickly and only waste 5 minutes.

I was thinking of raising it further but he's very good friends with someone very influential in our industry who I'm currently trying to get acquainted with to move up the ladder.

You waste people's time, feel you can't challenge, ignore or improve upon silly decisions made by those above and are only concerned with impressing those above you. I have no doubt that one day you will be very senior management- but don't kid yourself that you should be respected by those who don't value hierarchy over substance in the same way.

Thanks for your replies.

Don't, I won't be senior there any time at all. I am very junior, whilst everyone there is senior.

I have challenged why we need this meeting or if I can present differently and I have been told the meeting stays and I carry on reading as I always do. It's a place where junior staff are treated really badly tbh. Rebelling against rules just isnt worth it, even silly ones like that. The reading is one that takes at least fifteen minutes, even with reading it out quickly.

DameMargaret, that sounds really fab. They're all senior and I'm very junior, so they might all look at me with bewilderment but definitely going to try that! I'm on a bit of a downer at work really so felt on the verge of tears at the meeting. Can't wait to see their responses!

Rebelling against rules just isnt worth it, even silly ones like that. The reading is one that takes at least fifteen minutes, even with reading it out quickly.

I think it's absolutely fine to choose your battles, but then don't be worried by someone being bored- you agree with them.

definitely going to try that!

Dear god, please don't hold up that clipboard- being passive aggressive like that makes you come across as brittle and defensive.

If you have a problem with someone's behaviour speak to them directly and politely. If the issue is not worth doing that over then it is not worth your time worrying about.