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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want my partner to make an effort when we go out?

23 replies

Pandababi · 18/05/2019 12:23

we dont do anything fancy, but every time i see my partner he wears jogging bottoms. it doesnt matter whether ive spent three hours getting ready to go out, he always wears joggers and it kind of gets me down. he doesnt really like wearing jeans, but there are other things to wear than joggers! i dont feel like i can bring it up to him without him getting upset

OP posts:

SnuggyBuggy · 18/05/2019 12:24

Don't know what your budget is but could you go somewhere with a dress code?

Original poster

Pandababi · 18/05/2019 12:28

we were going to go to a club and he asked if skinny joggers were appropriate.. thats what im dealing with lmao

OP posts:

SnuggyBuggy · 18/05/2019 12:29

Maybe he needs to experience the humiliation of being turned away at the door before he will change his ways

joystir59 · 18/05/2019 12:30

Did he wear joggers when you were dating?

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 18/05/2019 12:37

Skinny joggers? Aren't they just thick leggings?

funnylittlefloozie · 18/05/2019 12:56

Tell him you find skinny joggers (whatever the fuck they are) really unsexy. Point out some nice clothes that you would like to see him in.

AllTheCakes · 18/05/2019 12:57

YANBU. How old is he? 12?

FilthyforFirth · 18/05/2019 12:59

Ugh, this would be a deal breaker for me. Obviously you cant and shouldnt dictate what he wears on a daily basis. But if he is unwilling to make an effort for specific nights out, I'd be unhappy. It also makes him seem incredibly immature...

TheDarkPassenger · 18/05/2019 14:16

My ex did this and still does except now they’re dirty too. I assume his wife has given up on mothering him like I did and picking up his dirty washing for him. Now I have an absolute hatred for jogger and I would walk away from someone who work them outside the house, tbh.

Marvelendgame · 18/05/2019 14:19

I think yabu, you wouldn't like to be told what to wear would you?

Maybe he's comfortable.

Is he a nice person? That's more important than his dress sense.

NCforthisone19 · 18/05/2019 14:22

Take him on a date to the leisure centre caff, and say that you assumed he wanted to go there seeing as he is wearing sports clothes.

thedevilinablackdress · 18/05/2019 14:27

There are joggers and joggers...are we talking baggy, grey, stained or those tighter fitting black ones the young chaps wear? If the latter, I guess it's a fashion he likes and it's a bit off to tell someone what to wear really.

bakereld · 18/05/2019 14:41

If he gets upset when you mention it, are you sure he isn't going through a rough patch?

I went through a similar thing with DP recently. He was constantly wearing joggers whenever he got the chance. His mum and sister even started commenting on it as it was unusual for him.

Turns out he was feeling quite down about his appearance due to putting on a bit of weight etc - he refuses to buy new smart trousers/jeans (minus for work) or any new outfits as he's determined to get his weight back off. Just a thought.

RandomMess · 18/05/2019 14:43

I just refuse to go out with DH in his joggers...

Prisonbreak · 18/05/2019 15:03

I would hate this. Thankfully my man doesn’t even own joggers but I cringe when I see folk out in them when not doing sports

maras2 · 18/05/2019 15:11

I've been with DH since he was 19 and he's never worn jeans, he's now 69 so I don't think he'll change his lifetime habit.
What I'm trying to say is that you can be , and he, is always very smart wearing a selection of smart/casual tailored trousers.
No need for skanky joggers.
Over the years DH has worn loons in the 1960s/70s, Stay pressed/cords in the 1980s and Chino type casuals over the last 20 years.
All have been very comfortable, stylish and smart (he's never worn trainers either but that's another story).
Have a calm chat with DH and make him understand how he makes you feel by insisting on wearing the joggers.
Good luck.

RickJames · 18/05/2019 15:15

My DH has recently bought an under armour jogging suit - it was about 150€ . It's permanently fused to him now. I have to steal it to launder it.

Obviously he looks like some sort of low level criminal or drug user in it but I can cope with that at home or the gym. He's never attempted to try to wear it to go out so I'm grateful for this small mercy.

OP, I think you might need to have a polite word about him getting a pair of slacks

greenlloon · 18/05/2019 15:19

ybvvvvvvvu and controlling he can wear what he likes and should dump you.

beanaseireann · 18/05/2019 15:21

What attracted you to this permanently in joggers person in the first place ?

Hadalifeonce · 18/05/2019 15:22

Can't you buy him some casual trousers? If I notice any of DH's getting a little frayed at the bottom, I just buy a new pair and throw out the old ones. Most of the time he doesn't even notice.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/05/2019 15:25

I have a personal hatred of sports clothes not in the gym, looks drug deallery to me.

I'm very unreasonable about it, would be a deal breaker for me.

RandomMess · 18/05/2019 15:29

My DH only discovered the comfort of joggers a couple of years ago we've been together 20 years...

If he wants to ditch me over it that's fair enough!

RelaisBlu · 18/05/2019 15:47

We were going to go to a club and he asked if skinny joggers were appropriate

This was your opportunity to say how you feel because he asked you directly

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