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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up with my husband the diet bore?

59 replies

MagicKingdomDizzy · 18/05/2019 11:47

My husband has been on a diet/weight loss regime since January. He's doing well and has lost a fair amount.

However, I am so tired of the daily commentary, the list of calories in everything he (and I eat), it's become very boring and irritating.

He has a spreadsheet for everything, and made one for me too (I didn't ask him to).
He'll also tell me the calorie content of everything including what me and the kids are eating.

Twice a day he strips off all his clothes in the kitchen to use the scales, usually coinciding with me and the kids eating breakfast and dinner, and we have to take an interest in what his current weight is. It's all such a performance! Apparently he can't do it in the bathroom, due to the lighting.

I was supportive in the beginning, but now I'm just bored of it all, as we literally can't seem to discuss anything else!

AIBU? I think I am probably. But diet bores, are well, boring.....

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 18/05/2019 11:49

This sounds obsessive and he's setting himself up for a lifetime weight battle.

Original poster
MagicKingdomDizzy · 18/05/2019 11:50

I was thinking that, and hoping it would stop when he hits his target weight, which should be soon.

OP posts:
Celebelly · 18/05/2019 11:50

YANBU. I feel this way about anyone who gets a new obsession hobby and then it becomes all they talk about. It's dull dull dull.

LightDrizzle · 18/05/2019 11:55

Sorry, I started reading what your DH does...but got bored before reading to the end Grin

YANBU! Of course you should be supportive of his efforts and congratulate him on the results, but not hourly! He is a big boy now but he's behaving like a toddler in the park, wanting mummy to look and exclaim every time he goes down the slide or on the swings.

Can you tell him it's great that he is doing so well but hearing about every detail is getting on your last nerve? Tell him you don't want to hear about the calories in what he is eating but if he gives you a weekly weight update it will be a lot more bearable meaningful for you.

Incidentally the stripping off twice daily is ridiculous and not helpful, but then what do we know compared to Mr Diet?

DulcieRay · 18/05/2019 11:57

Can you suggest a weekly weigh in... at the gym?!

SeaViewBliss · 18/05/2019 12:00

Weighing yourself twice a day is not healthy or productive. Doing it naked when people are in the room eating is plain weird!

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 18/05/2019 12:02

What would seriously bug me is him doing such a performance and big deal out of it in front of the children.

Seeing their parent obsessively weighing himself twice a day and fussing over a regimented schedule and calorie counting can't be good or healthy for them.

Original poster
MagicKingdomDizzy · 18/05/2019 12:04

I've tried to address the stripping off, as I've been telling my son who's 8, that people should get dressed in private, and yet he sees his dad doing it everyday, so very mixed messages.

The excuse is that the scales are solar powered and our bathroom has no windows Hmm

OP posts:
YourSarcasmIsDripping · 18/05/2019 12:07

He can do it in the morning before the kids get up and at night after they're in bed or at least finished.

I wonder if it's really a coincidence that his weigh in are at the same time as meal times .

YesimstillwatchingNetflix · 18/05/2019 12:10

Haha this would drive me mad OP.

Twice a day weigh ins are ridiculous, and I don't think that's even recommended.

I'd be concerned about his behaviour giving your DC a warped relationship with food and body image. Constantly focusing on calories and weight... that just sounds like a recipe for your children to develop a complex.

Not to mention it must be bloody annoying

Original poster
MagicKingdomDizzy · 18/05/2019 12:10

YourSarcasmIsDripping

I am worried about the message it's giving the kids. Particularly the 8 year old.

OP posts:
redhotchill · 18/05/2019 12:15

Just tell him to stop it. The dieting, fine, that's up to him.

Stripping naked and making a big deal of getting on the scales while his children eat breakfast is out of order.

Move the scales and tell him why

AnyOldPrion · 18/05/2019 12:23

Move the scales to your bedroom. That’s the appropriate space for him to strip off.

JaneEyre07 · 18/05/2019 12:23

There's one immediate solution that involves a heavy object and the scales Grin

Seriously, that is obsessive behaviour all round and I think you need to put a stop to it in front of your DC. They're going to have massive body issues themselves. Perhaps he needs a trip to the GP together as this really doesn't sound healthy at all.

VladmirsPoutine · 18/05/2019 12:24

Well what does he say when you point out the impact his obsession will have on the kids?

Sexnotgender · 18/05/2019 12:24

He gets naked in the kitchen? That’s just weird.

Tell him to bugger off. It’s incredibly unhealthy and a poor example for your children.

KatherineJaneway · 18/05/2019 12:28

The excuse is that the scales are solar powered and our bathroom has no windows

The real reason is he is showing off?

1tisILeClerc · 18/05/2019 12:28

{The excuse is that the scales are solar powered and our bathroom has no windows}

Get a half decent torch, that should sort the problem with lighting.
Or put the scales in the garden.

madcatladyforever · 18/05/2019 12:28

This kind of thing is incredibly tedious but I think it's one battle I couldn't be bothered with.

darkskyclearing · 18/05/2019 12:30

He needs to stop:

  1. calorie counting your food and the kids - if he wants to do his own that is fine - but not anyone else's.
  2. stop talking about this in front of the kids.
GetKnitted · 18/05/2019 12:31

YANBU

Who on earth takes their clothes off to get weighed!?

Needing to know down to the gram is not a health mindset

MorrisZapp · 18/05/2019 12:32

Meh suck it up. Next month it'll be astronomy or mountain biking.

GetKnitted · 18/05/2019 12:32

It does suggest he has some underlying issues though... how would it go down to suggest he talks to a professional?

HolesinTheSoles · 18/05/2019 12:33

My uncle went on a really obsessive diet like this. He lost loads of weight but became a real bore. I'm bang on in the middle of healthy BMI and exercise regularly (always have done) and want to be able to enjoy a nice pub lunch or desert without being reminded about the calorie content or that it's full of sugar (of course a bloody ice cream is full of sugar). He ended up falling off the wagon and has put the weight back on.

I wouldn't like this obsessive attitude to food around my kids as it's really unhealthy. I also wouldn't want to have to listen to it for months on end so I'd tell him to count calories and weigh himself privately without inflicting it on the rest of the family.

YesimstillwatchingNetflix · 18/05/2019 12:34

If you want to be passive aggressive you could reward and encourage him...by buying him some battery operated scales for him to keep in the bathroom...

But I'd be having a frank conversation about the terrible impact this can have on children and ask him to show more consideration. By all means model healthy behaviour by eating nutritious food and living an active lifestyle, but going on about calories and documenting every gram is just compulsive, weird negative behaviour.

I'd also probably tell DH that it's getting bloody tedious but I'm blunt like that.

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