I have a dp of almost 18 years and we have a 6 year old son. Over the last few years close family members dying has put a strain on us both (I lost my grandmother and stepfather who bought me up from birth - he lost his own father).
I feel we've massively changed as people and although I tried to carry on as normal dp went off the rails a bit, he left his job to return to education, promising he'd do something within IT he signed up for art as his counsellor at the time suggested it as a form of therapy - for 3 years now I have covered all the bills, while he just pays the mortgage - our mortgage is very cheap and the bills I pay are almost 3 times as much. He never offers extra unless asked to help me out and has also never got a part time job during the college/uni course.
I feel so much resentment towards him being a teenager again, hanging out with his uni friends when he had me and his son and I stayed silent for a number of years to the point now I honestly dont care. I feel i've been both parents for the last few years and im so sick and tired of being the responsible adult. There are quite a number of trust issues on his part - he has always been paranoid for instance and this has started thing more recently, constantly asking where i'm going, who i'm with. For a number of years after ds was born I never went anywhere due to post natal depression, I stayed at home, had no friends and I feel he quite liked it. Now i've made good friends with some mums from the school we often go out and I know he hates this. i've never given him a reason to believe i've cheated but this part of him is tiring me out. He has depression and anxiety and I often feel when he's around I get really anxious - the nights he goes out with friends is when I fully relax.
I've been considering leaving for quite some time now, but when it comes to the crunch I just feel so sad for him and how his life has changed, I think about not having him in my life and what it would do to my son, He hasn't actually done anything wrong, hes the nicest sweetest man. That being said though I know I don't feel the same about him anymore, I love him deeply as a friend but im sick of feeling like his mother, having to remind him of things several times a day, cleaning up after him as he forgot, washing, cooking, cleaning when I get so little in return. Ive mentioned that I think we've come to the end of the road as a couple - sex is non existent, he wants it, I just dont. He said now he lost his dad he only has me as his friend - its not true but it does make me feel guilty. Day to day its fine, we get on as friends, anything more romantic I just dont want to know and im not sure if were a lost cause or if im just not trying enough.
If he was horrible to me it would be easier, but hes not. so aibu for thinking of leaving. in my shoes wwyd?