Can you un-invite someone?

[Disappearedtothe80s]

DD is having her 20th birthday tonight, she has five close friends. Four girls, and one guy who are coming. All were friends from their halls of residence.

To cut a long story short, the guy two timed on two of the girls. Now the guy and girl 2 are in a relationship. Obviously very hard for girl 1 and she had moved out of their flat etc, and doesn't have much of relationship with the guy and girl 2 anymore (fair enough) but is still polite.

Anyway DD invited those 5 friends out for her birthday. Girl 2 asked if she could bring another girl (girl 3) along for moral support because she thinks everyone hates her other than one she's bringing for moral support, which isn't true, pissed off at the time yes but this happened months ago and people have moved on, as has girl 1 .

DD tolerates girl 3 (also in the halls), doesn't really like her so said yes (begrudgingly) and has barely seen her in over 6 months. Anyway girl 2 has pulled out because her aunt is dying (totally understandable) but girl 3 is still coming.

Is DD being U in pretending the birthday is cancelled so girl 3 does not come?

They sound like an awful bunch of friends.

If she still has to face the guy who two timed her with her so called friend then I’d still let her bring girl 3 for support.

Tbh the unreasonable one was your DD. Fair enough if you want to stay friends with the cheaters but don’t invite such a small group. Of course the girl who was stabbed in the back by her boyfriend and friend is going to feel awkward. Especially in a group of 5.

What on earth was your daughter playing at inviting out a small group of people that included a bloke and his ex who he cheated on and his new girlfriend?

This. And this,

I cba with all this birthday shit, can they not just go out on the piss like normal people and not involve you in their dramas?

Some very weird comments here. I have a 19 year old DD who would also ask my advice if she was in this situation. In fact she would what’s app me several times a day about it and get annoyed when I didn’t rely straight away . Many girls of that age are very close to their mums, much more so than 15- 16 year olds.

Those of you saying this is odd obviously don’t know many 20 year old girls.

There’s always someone failing out in DDs friendship group at uni,
there’s endless drama over who is speaking to who and dating who and why they are having pres at Emma’s flat and not Sophie’s and why Amy is bringing her GBF when it’s supposed to be all girls etc etc .

Your dd needs to grow up. At 20years old I would be embarrassed at my Dd behaving like this. More so if I was this overinvolved in this petty drama. And btw your dd and her friends sound like a nasty bunch.

Far to late notice to cancel. Her friend was rude for asking and dd will have to learn 'no' in future.

She may not turn up if her only real friend isn't coming now.

Why are PP being so pissy about OP's DD wanting her mum's input at 20? My DD is nine and talks to me about friendship issues at school when she needs advice or just wants to vent. How sad to think that has to stop as she gets older and she should become a closed book. Crack on, OP, it sounds like you have a lovely, close relationship.

I don't think you're been over invovled OP, if your dd has shared this info with you she's clearly interested in your response and naturally you want the best for her

I think Girl 3 has to come. I think it would be hurtful to uninvite her now. It really would be a "we don't like you but were going to put up with you as long as girl 2 was there, but now you can just piss off".

Nothing wrong with having a close relationship with your daughter! I don't know what other posters are complaining about there...