To worry about going into work after this

[worrier1234]

I've been with my current employer for over 10 years and have always enjoyed what I do and liked the team I work with but have started to feel like it might be time for a change of scenery. There's no real avenue for progression anymore and I've noticed things aren't quite the same as they used to be. I suppose my priorities have changed after having DCs over the last few years and I recently came across a job much closer to home that would give me a much better work life balance so applied and have been offered an interview.

The application form asked for two references and I gave my current line manager and previous employer. It also asked if they could be contacted prior to interview to which I said no as would rather my current employer didn't know I was looking elsewhere just yet as he's not the most discreet at times and I'm quite a private person. There's various other reasons for this too.

My previous employer has been contacted for a reference even though I also said 'no' to them being contacted before interview. This in itself isn't a problem as we get on well and she's happy to give a reference.

But I'm now really worried about going into work (have been on leave for a while) in case my current line manager has too as really didn't want them to know in case nothing comes of the interview as this may impact my life at work now.

AIBU to worry about this and also be a little cross that the prospective employer hasn't taken notice of the consent I gave in this respect?

Sorry for long post and thank you.

Ahhh OP, I get the worry. But honestly I don’t think you need to. It’s so common for this to happen that your line manager shouldn’t take it personally. It’s just work!

(My last two bosses offered me pay rises to stay in similar circumstances - they weren’t offended)

That aside I do think potential new employer has acted massively inappropriately - references should be requested AFTER a job has been offered and accepted.

I agree with everything Mrs wrote

I understand why you're not happy about it. Try not to worry. The fact that your employer knows that you'd consider another opportunity may work in your favour

I think Mrs pink has summed up pretty much everything I'd have to say. People move on it's normal and not offensive

Do you want to work for someone so lax about security. That must be a breach of dpa.

I'd check with hr at the new place. That's not OK and a breach of confidentiality. If he has been asked style it out and make sure you get the job. You don't owe any justification to them either.

Thanks everyone for your reassurances.

Missingstreetlife - that thought has crossed my mind, it's not given the best first impression of the new employer!

I have a relatively good relationship with my boss so a part of me feels like I've been a bit dishonest that they may have found out like this rather than from me. Maybe I would have said something if I was job hunting in earnest but just wanted to dip my toe in the water and see how it went without anyone knowing!

There are also potential cuts and redundancies on the table in my current job so a little worried that my boss knowing I am looking elsewhere may make them see me as an easy option for that?

OP, I agree your current job is at risk from cuts. You may not be offered a job by the new place, so I would prefer my current employer to not know I was job hunting.

How ever much you want to nurture and keep staff - one day they will want to move on - I celebrate the fact that I’ve seen them grow and know it’s time for them to move on :) Hope your boss thinks the same x

Strictly speaking you should ask before giving someone as a reference and sometimes discuss what will be included. Harder now, they usually ask for last employer. Often only want sickness and any disciplinary records, but no guarantee.

This happened to me and they did contact my current employer and my previous one prior to interview. Thankfully I'd put a well respected colleague rather than my actual employer as I feared something like that would happen. I don't think referees should be contacted until after a job offer, my previous manager, who's a friend of mine, went to the time and effort to write a reference only for me to turn down the job as I just didn't have any faith in an organisation that could make such basic admin errors, just gave the impression that it wasn't well run.

I should have thought of that PottyPotterer! My previous experience has always been that references have been collected after so was a little surprised by this.

I'm still in two minds as to whether to stay at my current employer or not which is another reason I'd rather they didn't know as don't want to be overlooked for futuee projects etc. if I did decide to stay as they may be worried I was always about to leave. But sure I'm just overthinking things!

Do you think I should prempt things and mention it to my boss on Monday or wait to see if he does?

You could maybe contact the company first thing Monday and ask if they've requested a reference first, that way you'll definitely know. Hopefully they haven't!

Thank you, I will speak to them first thing Monday - fingers crossed!