To ask for positive stories from those of you who struggled socially as a child

[Tumblingthroughlife]

... To show to my wonderful, kind and smart DS aged 10, who is having a really hard time at school at the moment. He doesn't feel that he fits in right now, and even though we think he's pretty fabulous he lacks confidence in himself. I know many of you lovely mumsnetters will have overcome similar struggles growing up. I have too, and I know how helpful it can be to hear other people's experiences. If anyone could share their 'growing up' stories so I can show this thread to DS I think it would mean a lot to him

I too struggled horribly in primary school. I spent every lunch and break walking the perimeter of the playground alone, talking to myself.

The first couple of years of secondary school were spent in similar isolation but in y9 I realised I didn’t care, tried to be more myself, and found a great bunch of mates (mostly male), a number of whom I’m still in contact with now.

I’m 40, and people who haven’t known me since school find it hard to believe that I’m anything other than extremely sociable. I love my own company still, when around others I am anything but socially awkward.

Very quiet with a stutter.never in crowd.ever
If you went back to school most folk wouldn’t remember me,at all
Great time uni,as I got it you work hard,you get the marks.
Uni is less subjective than school. Teachers had a fave type of pupils

the difference between the unhappy teen I was, and the very happy adult I became was finding I didn't need to change, just change the people around me

This!

I never really felt I fitted in. Wrong clothes. Wrong hair. Was academic (which wasn't cool) and in a very nerdy way. I tried too hard socially and this made it worse. Things improved as I went through secondary school - i got better at it, and people start to look beyond clothes etc (Also as a teen you have more ability to control your own appearance). Junior school is really the worst for social stuff imho! By 6th form it didn't hurt that I had gone from geeky with weird short hair, to size 6-8, long blonde hair, & started seeing a boy from a different school. Uni was great (I met my husband) and I've never looked back.

Nb it also helps that somewhere along the way I just.... stopped giving a shit.

Struggled - shy, awkward, bullied/left out until around age 15 when I found a group outside of school. Haven’t looked back since - I’m in my 40s now and have looaads of friends, make friends easily, etc. I can still be a bit shy and struggled a bit when I was a new mum to find mum friends but that was more having bad luck with NCT group really and also a couple of them moving away.

School can have an idealised pupil,the popular girl.
However as an adult there are many ways to be,many people who’ll like you
As hard a it feels now,you socially at ten doesn’t define you as an adult

I am an introvert, and as a child I was painfully shy and awkward. At junior school I tended to escape into daydream and would probably have been considered weird and slightly obsessed with horses! I didn’t relate to people particularly well. At secondary school this escalated as my weirdness made me a target for bullies so I just retreated further into my shell and my own strange head. I self harmed and felt suicidal. I wrote my suicide note three times, but didn’t have the courage to see it through.

I’m 42 now. I am a professional, I stand in court every week and address judges and make decisions that impact people’s lives. My job requires me to build relationships with people quickly and empathetically. I love my job and I’m good at it. In my personal life, I’m still an introvert but I’ve found my people and those I feel comfortable with. Happily married. Wouldn’t change a thing about my life.

Glad I survived to live it.

Your beautiful smart kind boy just hasn’t found his tribe,yet
He will and he’ll flourish with folk who get him

This is a v honest and uplifting thread

YouJustDoYou cheers!

I didn't fit in at primary at all. I had no friends and spent most lunch times on my own. Then I started secondary school and I made new friends who were interested in more than football and rubbish music, and who didn't know all the words to Barbie Girl (seriously MiniTumbling, get your mum to show you on youtube, that was actually considered cool when I was a kid!) Anyway, my friendship group was fairly small to start off with but as I got older it grew, I got involved in lots of extra curricular activities and suddenly found myself quite popular.

I'm 30 now and one of my greatest skills is that I can get along with anyone and fit into any group, it just took me a while to find my confidence, hobbies helped a lot with that.

I hope things improve for your ds.