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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To want to slap Lo's social worker

19 replies

Flower3554 · 19/07/2007 15:13

Blardy woman

She is supposed to collect him one day a week and take him to see his Mum and Dad, I'm his foster carer.

Today she was due at 1.30pm and I had plans with my Grandson for when the Lo was out.

At 1.50 I ring the office to ask where she is and she comes on and says "oh I'll be there as soon as I can I'm a bit behind today"

I explain I have plans to no avail, she just doesn't hear me, talks over the top of me etc.

When she arrives she can't lift the car seat cos she has a bad back so I have to carry him out and try and squeeze my not unsubstantial self into her weeny car and fasten him in.

I tell her I'm annoyed and she says "oh but we do so value you", huh.

So I've put a complaint in about her. AIBU

OP posts:

IntergalacticWalrus · 19/07/2007 15:15

She shouls have called you to tell you she was running late. for you to have to ring her 20 mins after she should have arrived is unacceptable IMHO

Most people have mobiles now, ther's no excuse for bad manners

Mumpbump · 19/07/2007 15:16

No. It's terribly rude to be late for anything, whether social or not, and very unprofessional. Next time, I would take the lo with you and tell her she will have to come and pick him up from wherever.

LoveAngel · 19/07/2007 15:19

No YANBU. She sould have called you.

skidoodle · 19/07/2007 15:21

YANBU

the thing is though mumpbump, I can see the sense in doing what you're suggesting, but then she'd also be letting down the parents, who would probably be really disappointed as well as inconvenienced, and it wasn't their fault either.

Original poster

Flower3554 · 19/07/2007 15:24

Thank you.

It's not just the being late it's the assumption that I don't have anything else better to do than chase her up.

I have worked with some really good social workers, she is not one them.

OP posts:

Mumpbump · 19/07/2007 15:26

My reasoning was that the social worker is already letting the natural parents down by being late for them anyway. I bet it would only take once if it caused inconvenience to the social worker.

But I agree that complaining is probably a better first step!

Original poster

Flower3554 · 19/07/2007 15:26

skidoodle, I agree with you. His parents have learning difficulties and are extremely timid people which is why the social worker gets away with doing this because they are to scared to complain.

OP posts:

SpookyMadMummy · 19/07/2007 15:59

YANBU. Its bad manners not to even call you.

Original poster

Flower3554 · 19/07/2007 16:33

Grrrrr She's just brought the Lo back from his contact and said "now Flower, I sensed that you were upset with me earlier, what can i do to make it better"

Blardy talk to me woman

OP posts:

SpookyMadMummy · 19/07/2007 16:50

yeah and blardy be punctual next time Or at least call you!!!

lulumama · 19/07/2007 16:59

she sensed you were upset !! is she psychic

no, YANBU.....she would have known well before 1.30 she was running late, should have called you, not waited for you to call her

Original poster

Flower3554 · 19/07/2007 17:13

I am fed up with her, I'm usually a patient person but she is so inept it verges on the criminal.

I was busy in the kitchen when she got back and she gave my 8 year old grandson the car seat with a 17lb baby in it to carry for her. She has a bad back you see.!!!

OP posts:

ShinyHarryPplHoldingPortkeys · 19/07/2007 17:14

Not a good idea to slap a social worker. Social services will then make all kinds of assumptions about you..

Original poster

Flower3554 · 19/07/2007 17:18

Aw but it would give me so much satisfaction

OP posts:

SpookyMadMummy · 19/07/2007 17:19

Want me to pop round next time I have a bout of PMT, Flower??

SpiderBaby · 19/07/2007 17:20

its awful and fancy taking advantage of the parents like that too has the woman no compassion?

Original poster

Flower3554 · 19/07/2007 17:25

I honestly think it's just a job to her and I think social work is so much more.

I feel so sorry for Lo's parents, they are no match for her and she gives very little credence to their needs.

Apart from their obvious problems they turn up to every single contact only to have to sit around and wait to see their baby.

OP posts:

SpiderBaby · 19/07/2007 17:28

flower, I am sorry to be a pain but do you think you could help on this thread? it sounds very worrying

Its horrible when people treat social work as a 'job'. I have had 3 social workers so far (through the childrens disability team as my dd is disabled) 1 was ok but never delivered anything, 1 was useless, condescending and patronising and the one i have now is fantastic! If someone comes into your home and you trust them and they can see what you need as a family it makes hell of a difference compared to someone who wants to tick all the boxes and get their paperwork done

Original poster

Flower3554 · 19/07/2007 17:36

It sounds like she's doing all she can. A solicitor is vital and I agree that homestart is a good idea, I've heard good things about them from parents before.

OP posts:

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