To give up on trying to pass on my genes

[AliceAbsolum]

I've just turned 34 and have dimished ovarian reserve (not many eggs left (AMH was 1 in Feb)) we got 4 in my last failed IVF cycle, all fertilised, 2 put back at day 5, unfortunately neither stuck. No more NHS funding.

Now DH and I are looking into donor eggs. The chances are much better with donor eggs. I just don't know how we can justify spending the only money we have on a cycle which might yeald very little.
With donor eggs they guarantee 2 good embryos.

It sounds weird but I'm not that upset about not passing on my genes, my family have a long history of mental health and physical health problems.

But we got 1 good embryo and 1 dodgy one, maybe we are giving up too quickly.

WWYD?

Very very tough decision. It really comes down to finances and time. Can you afford to do an embryo transfer and then save enough to do donor eggs in a year's time or two and go for donor egg instead? Or if indeed you have come to terms with having your biological child, go for donor. I think the moment you hold your child in your arms it really doesn't matter so much anymore, your baby will be yours in your heart from the start.

I'm loathe to answer as I conceived DD easily so can't pretend to understand what you're going through. But, she's just over a year and I can honestly say I give precisely zero thought to what genes of mine she has etc. I love her because I have raised her, endured the sleepless nights etc. I really don't think I'd feel any different if she was from a donor egg (or sperm for that matter), and I doubt adoptive parents feel any differently about their children than I do about mine.

But like I said - easy for me to say while sitting at a keyboard.

Best of luck whatever you decide OP

I know nothing about what you have been going through either but if the embryo is implanted into you, your baby will be made from you even though he or she won't have your genes.

I had 4 rounds of IVF and my egg quality was terrible. It resulted in 1 pregnancy which I miscarried.
I was told not to continue as it's likely to be fruitless and consider donor eggs. I decided to give donors eggs a chance and I've now got twins on the first attempt. I personally don't care about passing on my genes. Being a mum and the joy they bring us is far more important. Good luck with your decision x

Amh 1.8 here and that was two years ago, success round 6 with create. 3 cycle natural icsi wasn't cheap but worth every penny to get my son.

Considered donor eggs but had one last roll if the dice. I think when you have low amh the ivf process is so much more brutal. Good luck with whatever you decide x