Am I in the wrong? Family issues

[Maggie4]

Hi new poster here
I’ve always had a dysfunctional family and we’ve all fallen out many times before, however I’m always the one that gets the blame for everything.
This latest fall out concerns my son’s 21st birthday. He has had mental health issues for the last 8 years - they have gotten worse over the last 6 months were he’s expressed a wish to end it all. On his 21st birthday he was in tears, none of the family wanted to go out and celebrate his birthday with him, apart from me (his father died when he was young so single parent). Also some family members hadn’t gave him a card/gift for his b’day even though in the past I’ve made sure all nephews/nieces got gifts for their 21st., regardless of my relationship with siblings. My son sat there in tears wishing he was dead as “no one cared”.
I was also in tears and extremely angry, I hit out and posted on Facebook asking if it was too much to ask that family recognise my son’s special day - I got texts from the guilty parties stating that they will hand in a card in a couple of days time. I went back onto Facebook and stated that his birthday is today - not when they can slot it in.
Upshot is everyone is upset but I’m getting the blame, family have blocked me from facebook - not that I care but I do care that they have blocked my son. I have even been told one sister said she hoped my cancer comes back - I had to go through it alone as not one family member supported me through treatment. Treatment finished in February and I guess I just had enough of their thoughtlessness and headed straight for Facebook so others could see what I have to put up with.
So damage has been done, my son and my elderly disabled mother (they took it out on her) have to pay for my anger.
I can’t say I’m sorry as I’m not sorry. The victim here is my son yet not one has bothered to enquire why I’m angry and what they could do to help.

What value do these people add to your life ?

If the answer to that is nothing, then a card or no card isn’t going to make any shred of difference. Step away. The whole dramatics of NC never appeals to me but you can certainly withdraw and go for minimal contact.

The dramatics of social media never appeal either. Simple matter of fact is, not everyone set the same store with cards as you might do. However you're not being followed up with real contact or visits, which is a shame.

My advice to everyone today seems to be 'step back, review, and what do you want from the situation going forward'. If is isn’t resolvable, then don’t try. Just go minimal contact. That seems easier all round.

I'd cut the lot of them out. You don't need such awful people in your life.

Your family sounds rubbish op. Luckily your ds has you! My ds has mh issues, he took up a hobby, well 2 actually!! He has
been boxing for charity and joined a catapult club! Both given him focus and helped him meet similar minded friends. Encouraging your ds to find a hobby could also benefit him. And you because you might not worry so much.

Also ime owning a ddog massively improved your mental and physical health.

Thank you for all responses. I kept with family for the sake of my son as he has no family on his father’s side. I have went out my way to help them over the years in order to keep relations but I’ve had enough. Your thoughts have confirmed that I need to keep them out of my life and cultivate new friendships with positive caring people.
I constantly encourage my son to join groups/hobbies etc but his mental health is too severe at the moment. I ensure he gets out for long walks with me every day in the countryside to lift his spirits and await the day his anti-depressants kick in. He has been declined for MH support by the NHS and now waiting on funds arriving so I can pay for him to go private.