Taking child out of school trip

[mycatisblack]

Background: we live very rurally in Ireland so no issues with taking children out of primary school for the odd day. Headteacher was very supportive when DS had 3 days off when family were visiting a couple of months ago. DS is undiagnosed but suspected Dyspraxia. Teacher in previous class suggested this was likely given his poor handwriting, poor co-ordination skills, can't use a balance bike let alone ride a bike and other minor issues.
Teacher also advised that funding for SN testing is very limited and so only students with poor academic record are generally put forward for testing.
DS is extremely able academically.

DS is 10 and hates all sport.
School is very keen on sport, specifically Gaelic Football. PE consists entirely of Gaelic football taught by local amateur coach to both girls and boys. They don't even do Hurling here. (Similar to hockey) Every playtime, DS wanders around the perimeter of the playground alone whilst the other children play football. Sometimes the girls will play with him. (I know this because I can see the playground from my garden, across the fields.) There is no bullying issue as his friends accept he isn't interested in playing football. He is a whizz at computer stuff and his friends love playing with him with computer games etc. as he can figure stuff out very easily.

My AIBU. The school has just sent out letters about the school tour (trip) which involves 2 of the classes (30 students in total) on a bus ride to some activity centre about 80 mins drive. The info says that children will get muddy and they must take spare clothes, trainers and a towel as they will be expected to shower afterwards. Looking on the website, lots of pics of mud trenches, rope climbing apparatus, etc. I'm sure the majority of the kids will absolutely love the experience.

We are also required to sign a (lengthy) Disclaimer form (!!)

DS really doesn't want to go. He says he'd be happy to sit in another classroom and read his library books. Sad, but perfectly true.

There is no suggestion of an alternative arrangement if the child doesn't go or if parents are unwilling to sign Disclaimer.

Firstly, I am not happy about signing a Disclaimer form. Seems very wrong to me especially as we have to pay insurance costs to the school at the start of the academic year. (Again, it's an Irish thing.)

I'm thinking of keeping DS at home (or just going out for the day somewhere) because I know he'll absolutely hate it and with his co-ordination issues, he's quite likely to fall off something and hurt himself.

I honestly don't think the head will be bothered if I just tell him we're taking DS out of school for the day, but I'm wondering about whether to raise the issue of my concern regarding the Disclaimer form or just accept that the school and presumably (?) other parents are accepting of it?

WWYD?

dn was diagnosed with dyspraxia late in primary school and I fully understand how it can impact coordination for playing ball and team games and it is unfortunate that is the only sport the school offers. But she actually did well in solo activities such as karate

The muddy assault course is something dn has done in the past and enjoyed. Has he tried something similar before? I would try to encourage him not to avoid all physical activity as this will in time impact his fitness, confidence and isolate him from friends. Is he being assessed for dyspraxia? Once you have a diagnosis you can speak to the school about inclusive PE lessons.

I had dyslexia and dyspraxia I hated team sports with a passion. But I really enjoyed outdoor activities, abseiling, canoeing etc. I was as good as everyone else. It helped me realize that I didn't hate all physical exercise I just hated sports with balls ( and running).

My son also has dyspraxia and hates sports, but I would strongly encourage him to go on a trip like this because I want him to be fit and active and so encourage him to take up every opportunity he's offered.

totally hear what pps are saying about residentials etc, but this is a one day trip. He might love it, if he doesn't it's only one day and he's tried something new...

Ultimately it's you and your ds's choice but dd has dyspraxia and is utterly hopeless at any ball sports or hand eye coordination stuff but excels at climbing etc. She loved her outdoor activity residential (apart from archery - that was never going to work !). He may find that he does enjoy stuff he would never normally try due to his perception of his limitations.

To answer a previous poster, I'm British and my DH is Irish.
I was a tomboy, extremely sporty at school, good at cross country etc. and would have loved this sort of thing but DH thinks that occasionally cutting the grass of an afternoon constitutes partaking in the great outdoors.

I spoke to the Head today and explained my dilemma.
Just as we were chatting, his previous year teacher popped into the room and agreed that DS probably wouldn't enjoy the activity centre at all. Head sees no problem with DS not attending and was pleased I mentioned it now rather than keeping DS at home on the day without letting them know why.

DS is booked into the Let's Go activity camp in the summer and has done it for the past 2 years but chooses not to take part in some of the activities, including the Zorb ball and wall climbing activity. I accept that he knows his own mind and whilst willing to try some new things, he won't be coerced into doing something he doesn't want to do.

I will ask again about getting him tested for Dyspraxia as I understand it will affect his schooling more at secondary level. However, he's only in 3rd class so plenty of time to get it sorted.

Thanks for all your comments. It's been really useful to hear the range of opinions.

I KNEW you were not Irish, because nobody would give a shit about a child missing a school tour, actually most of my friends who are teachers would be thrilled to have fewer children. Also the insurance thing at the start of the year might not cover this trip.

I would definitely look in to getting him assessed now, don't wait. Pay for it privately if you can, don't wait for the school to pay, because they won't.

Very best wishes to you and your son.

Glad to hear you have a solution that works for you and school.

I’d echo getting tested and chasing because there is nowhere near enough provision publicly in Ireland. Our school, 16 classes (2 each year) and completely full, got 2 assessments per school year- which of course were needed 10 times over every year! And that included for any reassessments needed as pupils were transitioning to secondary- we paid privately twice for dd ( almost €1700 each time). In senior infants and again in 1st year.

I think letting him do what he wants, instead of participating in the trip, is a very bad idea. It's not good preparation for real life at all. I would imagine that he'll have school camp/residential in future; that tends to be outdoorsy, so will he get to opt out of that too? Encourage him to go, plan a treat for afterwards, but do speak to the school about keeping your son safe. The staff at these places do tend to be excellent, and will be very experienced at dealing with all kinds of children.

Dieu did you not see that she HAD talked to Head and to previous teacher, so it was an agreed decision in the CHILD's best interests?!

I read that afterwards, yes. Hardly the biggest of deals to have missed it!

I really wish my parents had pulled me from the horror that was the school "Adventure Day". It was an annual hell on earth for me but was compulsory.

It put me off outdoor activities for many many years. Your DS is lucky to have you.

I remember when I was 11 trying to break my arm by throwing myself down the stairs so that I wouldn't have to go on the school residential.

My attempts failed and I had to go and despite a few tears I had an absolute blast.

The point of these trips is to push kids out of their comfort zone and I remember it to this day as something I was so glad that I tried and it taught me to face my fears.

@Dieu, I take your point but it really doesn't apply to rural Ireland.
I'm not aware of any local secondary schools that have residential trips/camps. Schools are generally smaller than UK and receive far less funding outside of the main cities.
Parents currently purchase all textbooks, copy books, pens etc. and pay for all extras.
There's no school meals provision at primary and no before or after school clubs.

Hideously long 10 week summer holidays (!)

I sometimes go to a Saturday Parkrun (fabulous route through woods along the coastline) and lots of older folk join in who say they hated sport at school so DS might well choose to take up a sport later in life.