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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nasty neighbour (sorry its a long one)

42 replies

Crappygilmore · 16/05/2019 16:23

So. A few months back our lovely neighbour passed. She was an ideal neighbour , takes in parcels, lets in builders, kind to ds who has asd ect. We are in a building with 5 other flats fyi. So this new guy and his wife (who noone ever see's) move in. Its a disabled adapted flat and they are not. Anyhoo, from day one he is poking his nose in to our lives asking questions about who lives hear, what they do, kids, partners, criminal convictions ect. We all keep quiet, dont give anything up and try to just get on with life. Then come the notes. Please keep quiet we're trying to sleep. Dont slam doors ect. Then at xmas his unlocked bike gets stollen. He puts up cctv outside and puts up more notes then his slippers which he keeps outside his door gets stollen, well one anyway. And all hell breaks loose. The notes take on a sinister turn and hes badgering all who he bumps into. We laugh it off, yes it sucks his unlocked bike was stolen. But a slipper! Ffs. I start calling him Cinderella and making jokes about who steels a shoe ect. He seems to think its me now who's stollen it (it wasnt) neighbours stuff then starts going missing from the communal area. Being found in the local park ect. The notes then start again by saying hes got permission from the LL to put cctv in the hallway..so two of us object, call the LL and stop that big brother shit right away. Ohhh he wasnt happy i can tell u. So one morning he confront me in a highly aggressive way saying im a theif and a liar. Im the reason the flats are in a state , im scum, my son is a little terrorist. My ds was in the car when this all happen, scared him terribly so much so that he wet himself at school when we got their. I tell him to go fuck himself (not my finest with ds nxt to me ) he threatens to call my work tell them im a theif and to let the neighbourhood im a theif too.( for a fucking slipper!) So i do what anyone else would do. I report him to the LL and the police. His retaliation. Superglue my postbox lock so i cant get my post. So i report him again. They warn him but cant do much else. The cctv goes into his garage and hes made to take the notes down. So a few weeks on. His latest torment is to tell the LL that we have bikes in the communal area and hes worried they'll be stolen too. So we have 7 days to take them away. We are in a flat with no storage and a tiny balcony where i guess we'll have to store the bikes now. Asshat.
So my aibu.. what can I do to legally piss him off. Im so fed up now. My ds doesnt want to leave the flat as we have to walk past his door to go out to the car. .please wonderfull people of MN. Your my onely hope... sorry its so long.

OP posts:
CitadelsofScience · 16/05/2019 17:03

A few things,
How do you know neither of them are disabled? Not all disabilities are visible.

Why are you bothered about him asking questions about the neighbourhood? It might just be small talk or an interest in his community.

I'm assuming your child can be quite loud? My autistic son can be a little shit and extremely loud, I'm aware of this and I deal with it because it's my problem not my neighbours when they're trying to sleep.

Why are you being so antagonistic? He's had property stolen, might be that he's fed up and the slipper was the straw that broke the camels back.

78percentLindt · 16/05/2019 17:05

I fully agree about bikes in communal areas and the slippers should not be outside his door either. They are all a potential hazard and if there is a fire inspection they will get picked up. On one inspection of our flats, they asked for the door mats on the outside of the flat doors to be removed on H&S/fire risk grounds.
Can you ask the managment company to install a bike rack? Also it is not up to him to install CCTV but the managment company for the block or the landlord. Who will be responsible for monitoring it? There are privacy implications. However if are are thefts from the development it might not be a bad idea.
As far as the threats to you, and comments about your son are concerned you may need to ask the police to treat it as harassment. Can you prove it was him who superglued your post box- as that would be criminal damage.
TBH I think your comments about slippers and the lost bike were not helpful.

sillysmiles · 16/05/2019 17:05

Can you send him a handwritten postcard from his slipper?

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 16/05/2019 17:06

Rachelle11
Why did you object to the camera in the hallway? If things are being stolen why not?

Whose was the CCTV? Who was going to have access to it?

If someone I had reason to dislike and see as a threat, and suspected of having taken things and left them in the local park in order to make a "revenge" nuisance, were to put up a CCTV camera overlooking my door/hallway so I could never leave my flat without him being able to know when I was in or out, and he would be the person who had access to it, I would object as well!

AdobeWanKenobi · 16/05/2019 17:12

Then at xmas his unlocked bike gets stollen

How nice it was given a gift 😂

HomemadeGranola · 16/05/2019 17:15

My sympathies are with the landlord

TheInvestigator · 16/05/2019 17:20

@MWalter

I've heard plenty of people call badly behaved children "little terrorists" and I live in a very small town with one black family. Everyone else who lives here is white. They still say that. Usually old people.

redhotchill · 16/05/2019 17:22

Xmas.....stollen?! Grin

This is a wind up

XXVaginaAndAUterus · 16/05/2019 17:28

Can you send him a handwritten postcard from his slipper?

😂

But in all drab seriousness, don't retaliate. Let him think he's "won". Get on with your life. If you retaliate then he will again, and the while thing continues.

StillMe1 · 16/05/2019 17:28

I have some sympathy with OP. Many years ago with a little DC I lived next to someone very much like her neighbour. It was an awful way to live. He would come out of his door and stare at me if I was leaving or coming back to my flat. He tried to intimidate any visitors to my flat. He would block the back door to the drying green. After 2 or 3 years of this I lost the plot with him. I was not brought up to behave like that but appealing to the landlord or police had not worked. Losing the plot did and I got moved to a big flat in a better area.
I have had two experiences along similar lines since then. I really do not understand any man (they have all been the male partner) who thinks it is fine to act like a nosey old fishwife. They are worse than old women! I am not going to hang around taking any carry on from the current nosey old fishwife.
Needs must if no other option worked. OP is faster of the mark than me but I dont think she can be condemned she has a child to protect from some nosey and perhaps bullying man. She does not mention a DP or DH. Maybe she is a single parent as I was. That speaks volumes to me.

Poppyinafieldofdreams · 16/05/2019 17:35

Stolen slippers are a big deal if my memory serves me rightly but it may not. I think it is the hound if the Baskerville wherewith a stolen shoe was taken to get the scent of the owner to the baddie. The bike would be used to transport the slipper to Dartmoor. It all begins to make sense.

sheettent · 16/05/2019 17:43

Shouting 'go fuck yourself' in front of an already upset son? Nice.

Jesus. I'm glad I live somewhere with no neighbours. You both sound bloody awful.

Minkies11 · 16/05/2019 17:44

Stollen = a stodgy cake eaten during the Xmas period
Stolen = nicked.

SpecterLitt · 16/05/2019 18:05

You both have behaved wrong, but considering how he is I don't think it is sensible to want to purposely antagonise him further. Therefore, rise above and move on.

If however he continues, you keep reporting it through proper channels and let them take the necessary action.

Fartymcnarty · 16/05/2019 18:07

If someone stole my slipper I’d be fucking livid!!!! I’d have one very cold foot!! 😂

viques · 16/05/2019 23:37

I think you breathe OP, and that's probably enough to annoy him. It would me.

legally piss him off ffs

Jux · 17/05/2019 13:17

Your life is going to be so much nicer if you were to be friends with your neighbours. That's not always going to happen, but yo don't need to be all-out enemies, which is what's happened here.

The guy annoyed you straight away, by asking questions about the people with whom he shares a space. That's not unreasonable, really, is it?

The way to deal wit the notes is to ignore them. He can't enforce anything. He couldn't even get CCTV put up when his request for it was understandable due to having his bike stolen. The only reason I can think of to object to it is if one were the actual thief. Not suggesting that you were, but someone took it and they had access to it, so either the door was left open or it was a visitor/friend/allowed person. Either way, I'd be worried about more bikes being nicked, so would be OK, if not keen, to have CCTV to ensure nothing else went.

I think you've been pretty horrid to him, frankly.

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