Grandmother's care

[asdou]

Posting for traffic - sorry

My DGM lives alone. She is not coping with cooking/cleaning/self care. We met with her care co-ordinator today who said she will try to organise some help with cleaning, basic washing and taking of her meds.

Does anyone know what this involves?

Would it be someone who comes to her every day? I live 50 miles away, so try to help but maybe once a month to take her to appointments and then I'll clean up for her. What sort of care is she likely to get? She's very independent and is ashamed that she can't keep anything tidy/clean now. She won't like being washed, or anyone seeing her flat in a mess.

I'm guessing it will be carers who will drop in morning and evening - care packages can vary wildly. I would imagine you could ring the care co- ordinator and say you have a few questions now you have had chance to think about it?

She's also a bit likely to tell them not to come back as she won't like them intruding in her home and telling her what to do.

Has anyone experience of this sort of involvement? She still has her wits about her, just seems exhausted all the time. I know she's happy when her flat is clean but then she's too feeble to keep on top of it. Right now when I was there today, it's a mess. She has vomiting and diarrhoea, so the bathroom is a bit messy. I cleaned the toilet but then I had to get back.

She's on quite a few meds and doesn't seem to be taking them consistently. Will they have like a cleaner come in once a week and a carer come in for her self care and meds or how does it work?

Her care co coordinator needs to do a new assessment on your DGM care needs .You can get her medication put in a dossett pack where the pharmacist will put them in the day and time , sounds very much like she needs someone to check she is taking them with a dossett pack you can do this .The person does need to be competent of doing it themselves otherwise they can end up say taking more than they are supposed to say all day's at once.The assessment should discuss this .Most care agencies will include light cleaning in their care calls .It is really difficult when people refused to have care in and if they full capacity they can do this .This is where consistency comes into it's own but knowing care agencies and turn over this is easier said than done .Your DGM needs a small team of carers so she can build up trust in them .Good luck.

Carers will not clean. They will give a meal (not cooked) give meds, empty commode and deal with personal hygiene. We had to get a separate cleaner for mother.

Florentina1 some agencies will .I am a community carer and we do light housework if the person has it as part of their package .And not give a cooked meal we also do .Seriously that has shocked me .I have worked in care for over 20yrs and i have never ever worked for a employer where we were not allowed to give a cooked meal .

@florentina
Hopefully you mean they don't cook a full meal from scratch but prepare microwavable meals rather than a blanket ban on hot food. If it is the latter that agency need reporting to the CQC as it is totally unacceptable to leave eldery and vulnerable people without access to a well balanced diet which simply isn't possible with only cold foods.

My DGM had a care package 4x a day initially, the carer stayed for around 30 minutes on average. They can help get the person out of bed/ washed/ dressed, provide food (they would heat up microwave meals for my DGM but nothing that takes long) and have a chat/ cup of tea. They would come at night to help put her to bed, and also make sure she has taken her medication.

This was paid for by the carers allowance that we had to start claiming for her, and we also got a key safe and an alarm to put round her neck that she could press if she had a fall which was invaluable. If she needed help with cleaning we would have had to pay for a cleaner separately, but we were able to take care of that as we all live locally.

If you could get to hers beforehand to get the place tidy would that make her feel a bit better about letting people in? Then if she is poorly etc it can be kept on top of? If she is capable of washing herself they can just make sure she does get up, have a wash and get dressed, rather than actually doing it for her, or it might make her get ready before they arrive if she knows company is coming.

I think carers are used to clients who don't really want strangers looking after them, but after a while they do build up a relationship, my DGM loved hearing about her various carers' lives and bits of gossip!

I worked as a home carer once, and I assisted with personal care, gave meds either from a dossett box, or from a medication ( mars) chart. I also did shopping for people, and housework. I built up a list of regular clients, and got to know them well. I gave meals - sometimes it was preparing a sandwich, or heating a microwave meal. Everyone had a different care package according to their needs. So one client might be assist to wash and dress, give meds and breakfast.( 30 mins) other clients might have a housework call- 1-2 hours a week cleaning. Others might be just meds, or just wash and dress etc. I did build up a great relationship with my clients- it was really rewarding - but very stressful and badly paid.

Yes, I think you're right about maybe getting the flat cleaned for her first (I won't be able to do it), by maybe a couple of cleaners for a few hours. She has run out of clean underwear too, so I might buy some for her online and get them delivered. She's such a lovely lady, but she's just not coping very well. This care coordinator seemed to be very proactive and my DGM seemed to agree, though it's hard to tell.

you really have to work at getting your DGM on board, this si her right to be assisted to be able to stay in her home and she has to ask for as much as she can, I guess the recourses and type of help will vary very much from area to area so not all situations the same, but from friends with similar issues with family members the initial help offered can be limited, one friend who's mother is very ill, not eating, not drinking as cleaning tea cups too much bother, and hospitalised last month with nutrition and medication issues has been looking for assistance for ages, eventually when hospital said they wouldn't allow her home without care package, her package was set at 4 hours help for 6 weeks decreasing to 2 so they have to decide is it I hour 4 day, s allowing someone enough time to do clean of bathroom, mop kitchen, vacuum and food/ tablets , or half an hour 6 days to assist with dressing, meal , medication and perhaps one small domestic chore like put a load of washing on. in 6 weeks time that will have more of tricky decision to make.

@florentina1 I'd had to work where you work. Christ not cleaning or making a hot meal.

I work for a care company we make sure the meds are counted for and recorded even if they're refused. Make sure the person is clean, do the house work eg washing, hoovering mopping, changing the bed etc. Depends on how much time we have as to what all gets done.
Make sure the person has food, I normally write a shopping list and the person I work for orders it themselves online but I've worked with another where we'd go to the shops together.
You'll have to speak the the care coordinator and social work to see what your mum is entitled to care wise because different people have different needs, I've seen 3 hour packages and work mostly on 24 hour packages there's also the 8 hour ones so it varies.

My mum had carers before she went into a care home (Alzheimer's unfortunately). Hers gave her medication three times a day - she has a heart condition and diabetes so we also had a district nurse to do the insulin injections. The morning carer would do the tablets, help her get washed and dressed and prepare her breakfast. They'd stay until she'd eaten it. Mum's Alzheimer's began to mean she forgot to eat unless she was sitting at the table and the food put in front of her. The whole idea is to give independence so all of mum's carers aided her rather than take over. So the washing was mum sitting on a stool and washing herself with their guidance and then they'd help for the bits she couldn't manage.

The lunch time carer would do tablets. Mum also had Apetito deliveries (Wiltshire Farm food but delivered hot) around mid day each day. So she had a diabetic menu of two courses. She had a list of what they were going to deliver and we agreed it with them so she had the foods she liked, as long as they were on the diabetic list. They were extremely good at making sure she was sitting down, dishing up her food and getting her started on eating.

Then the evening one would do her tablets, prepare a sandwich and cake for her and make her a cup of tea.

You need to be very honest about what your gran can and can't do so the care package actually tailors to her needs. Don't be afraid to call if things aren't working out - the team aren't mind readers so feed back to them if she's unhappy or needs a little more.

We also had a cleaner once a week - again mum's Alzheimer's just made her forget to clean. That was the thing that first made it obvious something was wrong. We got Attendance Allowance for her and used that to pay for the cleaner.

My sisters and I would cover shopping - mum made the decision about what she needed with us prompting (all about keeping that mind ticking over as long as possible - her life, her decision about what she needed). We'd do her washing, ironing and then another little tidy when we came over. We'd try to get her to help with the ironing and hanging the washing in her bathroom to dry so she didn't have everything done for her. It's easy for elderly people to end up feeling like a guest in their own home but carers are brilliant at including the person in decisions or getting them to help prepare their own sandwich or dish up the meal.

Hope it goes well. It's a worry isn't it?

I would suggest a full assessment by phoning her local social services department. They can advise on her capacity, any adaptation needed to the home, and what her care needs are.

Check meals on wheels - about 40% of LAs still do them. The ones my father had were very good. Rest of his needs were dealt with by carers dropping in a different times of day.

Worth considering a key safe, if your grandmother will accept i, then carers can let themselves in instead of your grandmother having to open the door to them.