AIBU to visit GP regarding over weight child?

[Onepuddingisneverenough]

Hi
I’m looking for opinions. Please don’t flame me.
2 of my DC are only separated in age by 13months. They attend the same school, do equal (infact the same except 1) activities, eat the same food and portions yet one of them is very over weight

I’ve monitored portion sizes, put them on packed lunch to control what is being eaten etc.

Both are very active football Monday, rugby Tuesday, gymnastics or dance Wednesday etc yet one is significantly overweight

I know genetics come into play etc but for contrast the aged 10 child weighs 5stone 5 and the 9 year old weighs 6stone 6. I’m struggling to find clothes that fit etc and the weight seems to have piled on over the last 2 years.

They eat an ok diet is fruit or porridge or whole grain cereal for breakfast
Lunch is usually whole meal wrap cold meats sliced veg and a yogurt
Dinner is generally homemade from scratch white fish or meat occasional nuggets and oven chips with beans
They do snack because they are so active and are generally allowed a treat once a day - think like a lot kat or maybe a bag of crisps. No fizzy drinks except for special occasions ie birthday or family holidays

So I suppose my AIBU is Aibu to take the overweight child to see the GP? I do not wish to, nor have I ever made a direct ref to their weight and obviously if I went the GPS for advice DC would be present and the weight would be mentioned. I know I can dress it up as being healthy etc but I think the GP would be quite frank in front of them and I do not want them to ever feel uncomfortable about who they are or their weight
Will the GP be able to assist really? I’m not sure what I think they will do except give advice which I can find online for healthy eating...

TIA

Yoghurt are full of sugar. Kids can have full fat. No oily fish? May need b12 if no red meat. Kids should not diet to lose, but slow weight gain until caught up.

How many snacks do they have? You can be very active and not have to eat unhealthy snacks.
A nutella sandwich and large glass of whole milk has the same calories as a dinner.
What is your own weight like? And your DHs?
Your user name is 'onepuddingisneverenough' so that may mean you have some sort of focus on food yourself. You've used a food username where someone else might use a cat username.

May be going to have a growth spurt. Just keep an eye on it. It's a time of change

I second the suggestion of a phone appointment. I didn't know they existed till someone suggested it on here. I wanted a CAMHS referral due to DS behavior, got a phone appointment and could speak freely without DS listening to a run down of everything he was doing "wrong". It was perfect. It might lead to a check up, but you'll have said your piece in advance. Also got a phone appointment for bedwetting, straight to referral to specialist, no physical appointment.

Now you've got me worried! My 9 year old is 6st 11, but very tall. She's in age 11-12 clothes.
I wouldn't bother the dr about it though. What will they say? Less snacks more exercise. Waste of NHS resources in my opinion.

I don’t think it’s helpful to introduce idea of junky food as ‘treats’.

I also don’t think it’s necessary to eat crisps or chocolate bars every day.

Growing up I rarely ate crisps and I’m not sure why they’re such a diet staple in the U.K., in Europe they’re more something you eat at parties.
Ditto newsagent chocolate.

I also think a lot U.K. children oversnack. He/she is not burning as much food as they’re consuming.

But are you sure they’re not eating extra at school, on the way home?

I would book a phone call with the GP, which you do without your child being present.

If this were my child, I wouldn't bother with the doctors until I had assessed their diet. I'd make a very honest food diary with absolutely every single bite noted down for at least a fortnight. You need to record what they actually eat, as opposed to what goes on their plate. Are you giving them fish fingers, croquettes and veggies for example but they are leaving all the veg and then filling up on snacks and treats? Do they have grandparents sneaking them treats on top of the treats you are giving? It all needs to go in the diary. Once you've got the diary completed, go through it and have a look at how many calories they are eating/portion sizes, and what proportion of the food they eat is made up of healthy stuff (vegetables, proteins etc) and how much is junk (treats, sugary yoghurts etc). I think if you look at it very honestly with eyes wide open it will probably become apparent what the problem areas are.

A similar diary to track their exercise levels over the same period would also help immensely. If you are watching them at their activities, how much time are they actually spending running or moving? Note the actual number of minutes and the activity down in the diary. Same for playing in the garden - are they sitting on the ground looking at bugs the whole time (great fun and worthwhile, but obviously not exercise) or do they run around like mad for hours? Note it down in the diary.

It may become apparent after keeping the diaries that you just need to cut the treats and snacks down, and encourage more active play.

If the diaries don't shed any light and after a proper assessment you think their diet and exercise levels are adequate, then it would be a good idea to see the GP. IMO there's little point in going before you've taken these initial steps, because without an honest appraisal of what your DC is eating and the exercise they are doing, the GP cannot rule out lifestyle choices as the problem. It's easier and cheaper for you to keep diaries for a few weeks than for a GP to run a raft of tests (which they probably won't do - they'll tell you to keep a diary) when there may not be anything to find.

Obviously this is only relevant if there are no other symptoms than the child's weight. If you have other concerns, you need to see the GP.

It’s not unusual for people to be different and kids are the same. Two people eating the same calories, one is fat and one is thin. It’s metabolism

Can people please understand kids go through growth spurts and puberty at different ages. If younger one is chunking up they are either about to start puberty or are about to shoot up over the summer. Stop being obsessed with your kids weight and comparing them. People come in all shapes and sizes and we dont all have to be the average 50th percentile 🙄

Also OP, stop the snacks. Kids dont need snacks. They need three decent meals and plenty of water/milk. And if you're that concerned go in to the appt before your child and speak to the gp, then bring your child in for the GP to see and take them back out again. Then ask for a dietician referral.

I know two children at primary school age, who are severely over weight. They eat better than my children with no snacks or treats. It turns out that one has an underactive thyroid and the other has Prada Willis syndrome. If i were you I would take your child to the gp for a simple blood test.

I had this exact same thing happen to me as a child around this age. My mother was weighing my food and I had no snacks, plus went to dance, swimming and athletic club several times a week. I have PCOS and it all happened around puberty. I still struggle with my weight now, but at least I know what is going on.

The GP may be able to advise different approaches, but I would be upping the exercise a bit more and maybe changing the snacks. Cut out the treats for everyone, though I do think everything in moderation is a good approach overall.

Does your child have any access to money/opportunity for secret eating? I put on a LOT of weight around that age because I spent all my pocket money and lunch money on sweets, I sold my toys and clothes to my friends at school to buy sweets, I even stole loose change from the big change jar my family all put money into to buy sweets. I was profoundly depressed. No-one realised, just threw up their hands and wondered how I was getting so fat.

Is your child happy OP? Rapid weight gain can be hormonal as others have said but by and large the reason you get bigger is because you're eating way too much of the wrong stuff. Might be worth checking in with him/her and see if you can find out how they're feeling in general (anxiety was at the core of my disordered eating - still is actually!)

Hi yes I’ve done that
The child I have concerns about is in the 98th centile
The other is 51st centile

Hi yes, the daily treat can be anything
It’s a snack or a treat so yesterday was sugar feee jelly and yogurt, todays will be rice cakes and 1/2a banana, fridays will generally be a kit kat or pack of crisps

Definitely exchange the chocolate and crisps snacks for something healthy (nuts, fruit, veg sticks etc). I do agree though that lots of children will have more treats than that do less exercise and not become over weight so I don't think it's at all your fault.

In my family there are one or two children who seem to struggle with their weight. In their cases I think they just have a bigger appetite than their body actually needs. At parties all kids stuff themselves a bit of the treat food but I've noticed the one or two who struggle will always been the last sitting at the table when the others have got full and run off to play. It might help to look for foods that are more filling (low GI foods) so their appetite will be more in line with what their body actually needs.

Is it the female one? I also have pcos and started gaining weight about a year or two before my periods started.

What centile are they for height? My daughter is slightly off the chart for weight but she is 99th centile for height so I'm not worried. She's healthy. Kids are rarely ever the exact same centile for height and weight. If my DD was only 30th centile for height at her weight then I'd be concerned.

Thank you for all your lovely advice and comments

I do track their food by proxy as they eat the same as the adults but half portions even lunches etc. Both my oh and I train regularly and we both have competitions coming up that we are training for in our social lives so we track our food in mfp. We always weigh our food to log it

The treats and snacks - it’s a treat or a snack daily and will consist of healthy treats 5-6 days out of 7 and a treat if choc or crisps 1-2 out of 7

We all wear fit bits and I’ve just liked at their data (we have walking challenges etc through the week to see who can get the most steps and the winner chooses that weekends activity) and they’re roughly doing the same amount of walking, running and other activity

I can’t see them eating in secret really as they only have access to the food in the house and no money etc. That’s the reason I put them on packed lunches then I could regulate what they were eating

The over weight dc is only short for their age and I’m at the point now where I’m struggling to buy clothes that are suitable for them so I’m really reluctant to let it continue. I’m going to reread all your helpful ideas later after work and hopefully I can pick up some good advice

I really do not want to make an issue of it with them and I think a telephone consultation when dc wasn’t present is an amazing idea.

Thank you all so far for you advice

My nearly 10 year old ds is 6st 8lbs but he’s also 155cm - he’s not overweight according to his bmi.
How tall is your second child?

Ah - I see they are short for their age.

They’re only 128 cm so a LOT shorter than your child shopkinshurtlikelego x

@TatianaLarina I totally agree with you about the snacks and the crisp as part of everyday lunch!
In France, crisps are served at birthday parties and would never be put in a backpack for school.

This said, I found jelly to be the most disgusting and horrific food ever. How can anyone eat that! The boiled carcass of an animal, bones, cartilages, skin, tendons, ligaments to which an artificial sweetener and colours are added (anyone interested on how gelatine is made can watch 1.20 minute video ) so not sure which is worse if jelly or crisps! One is utterly revolting, the other addictive. What about a print of blueberries? An apple , a pear?

I agree with a food diary and cutting out the treats (maybe on a Friday after school) as for snacks what do they have and at what time? My two get snack at small break at school, lunch at school and a snack at around 3 when they are home. Then nothing until dinner at half 5/6 when I say snack it’s usually a piece of fruit and/or some crackers.

Also in relation to sports as a pp said how involved are they? Maybe more walks at the weekend might help? I would be hesitant to go to the GP and mainly because it would cost me 60 per appointment to be told what I already know. I know it’s free in the I’m but I doubt they will do much on first visit.

punnet not print!