This week can fuck off to the far side of fuck

[Mamalicious16]

Just having a shitty week with work. Then today random driver throws water at me ( happened within seconds ,opp side of road and speeds off so didn't catch any details apart from.possible make and colour of car) then today effing AF decided to make an appearance a week early! Just need a rant!
Your turn.......

Got bloody hormonal teenagers so we can’t breathe in case of a tantrum
Got to work and boss was in a foul mood
Same boss went mental coz I’d not done something on the work laptop which meant he has to do it-I never touch the laptop-my job isn’t anything to do with it
Same boss-went mental at me cos another boss hadn’t done something (not clear what) and somehow that was my fault too even tho it’s nothing to do with me
Same boss-we use white bags for the bins but have run out so are using black (better bags) but he went dippy cos they cost more and aren’t meant to be used in those bins-but he refuses to buy more white bags for us to use-all my fault
Every customer that came in seemed to be in a vile mood and took it out on me
Got home and teenagers are still having hormonal tantrums
Back at work tomorrow...

I had a colonoscopy last Friday - and as part of the preparation for it, I had to take two doses of picolax (aka the napalm of laxatives).

I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and the picolax has had a very nasty effect on me - basically my irritable bowel is no longer irritated - it is absolutely fecking furious! Bloating, cramps and the runs - and it still hasn’t calmed down.

It is getting better, but only slowly.

Today I had an ultrasound scan to investigate a suspected medical condition and then an appointment with a specialist to discuss the results.

The good news? They couldn't see any sign of the suspected condition.

The less good news? They saw evidence of two other conditions, one of which can be pre-cancerous, so I now have to have an urgent invasive procedure and biopsy.

And from listening to my history, the specialist strongly suspects a third condition, which is painful and difficult to treat.

Fucking great.

Y6 sats week for DD and end of year exams for my y8 DS. On top of this we are having building work done and everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong.

Our builder has accidentally damaged our chimney and after having an internal CCTV inspection we have discovered major cock ups and now all the work that he has done is going to have to be ripped out in order to fix the problem.

I've also been having a series of medical tests and scans this week but thankfully the initial concern about ovarian cancer has now gone and my symptoms have been apparently been caused by fibroids.

Off on a much needed holiday to Corfu next Saturday thank goodness.

DD1 being a brat
DD2 health issues
DGF very ill in hospital
Work and studying.
I just want to curl up in a hole and cry.

Normally, I'd say this week is being shit.

We're broke. Like sixty thousand leagues under the overdraft.

Waiting on work to make their half arsed offer of a shit job with shit pay and even shittier hours (20 a week over five days, cunningly scheduled to make it impossible for me to get a second job to be able to pay the rent), but they seem to be running it to the wire in the hope that I'll just accept it and lose the redundancy entitlement or get another job (as if! Not even got to interview yet), won't confirm a start/end date, the pay or anything I need to be able to make an informed and legal decision. Oh, and they're getting every fucking ounce out of me with stupid events and whatnots in the meantime. No chance of fucking Gardening Leave for me.

Idiot outside parties disputing a decision at work when I've told them repeatedly that I am not allowed to do something for them, arguing with me about it in public and then, like a stroppy 14 year old, gone running to somebody else to try their luck at getting the answer they want from them instead, literally 5 seconds after I'd repeated a very polite 'No' and why I couldn't.

Other outside parties using the facilities and sitting there like angry sacks of potatoes so I had to deal with 55 overexcited 10 year olds and hearing somebody repeatedly tell individual small children that they were incapable of behaving, they'll never be able to behave and that they are a waste of space. And having to bite back an 'actually, the kid is fine, if a little fidgety. You're causing me a problem, though'.

Idiot children are thinking the rules about external exams don't apply to them, thereby risking not only their disqualification but that of the entire cohort.

A structural issue meaning there is a fuckton of cleaning up to be done on site.

DP is away every fucking weekend gigging.

Since my brother was killed a couple of weeks ago in a freak accident, I've suddenly turned into a fucking twat and can't walk round the corner to the shops without getting panicky in case it happens to me or DP. And when he's away, if he doesn't check in regularly, I'm not only sleepless, I can't eat and I'm plagued by thoughts that he's under the wheels of a vehicle somewhere.

But all that pales at the thought of next week, where I've got to act all nice at my brother's funeral when the chief mourner is a violent, abusive witch and repeatedly wished him dead when she wasn't creating a narrative of my being abusive towards her that has been believed by all and sundry. And I've realised that the fucking state I'm in isn't due to my poor bloody brother, it's because I'm still as scared of the bitch as when I was ten and she was holding a hot iron an inch away from my eyes and screaming that she was going to burn my face off.

So fuck this week. I'll take entitled outside contractors and stupid children over next week's psycho bitch's Saint act. And my playing the game so I can be there. Assuming she doesn't take the opportunity to inform me that the Wrong Kid Died. Which I would obviously also have to take, because 'she's a little old lady who has lost her child'.

Never mind fuck this week. Fuck this entire month. And term. And year. And school year.

FML.

OMG. My day/week)month etc pales by comparison! She sounds a nightmare! Does no one else know what she did / what / why she's like this?

Nah. She's always been like it - she refined her techniques over multiple children so that she always managed to convince schools/social workers/randomers that she was this poor, defenceless, upper-middleclass-plunged-into-poverty widow if they ever bothered to investigate.

The children that were on the receiving end of it either left by the time they were 18 (16 in my case - would have been 8 if any bastard had fucking believed me) or stayed and took it because of ASD (without a diagnosis, naturally, as that would have meant they had needs she wasn't meeting) - by which time, the lies and excuses were well established and they could be cut off/rejected without a second thought - with the tale being that they had cruelly rejected the poor little vulnerable and frightened widow.

The ones who didn't see it as it happened will never see it - if they were presented with film evidence of her in full flow, they'd interpret it as Fake News.

She had the advantage of outliving anybody related who could see through the fake tears and smiles that never reached the eyes and tried to do something about it, too.

Once next week is over, it'll be back to normal service. No need to contact her, no wish to contact her, and she'll have to work out how to get others to look after her, because I'm not fucking doing it - mainly because that would put me within striking distance of her fists and handy tools and provide her with plenty of opportunity to claim Elder Abuse, theft plus all other such bullshit to manipulate her fan club (who conveniently have never been available to help her when she needed it).

Got another 'thanks but no thanks' application rejection today. And DP's fucked off to rehearsal tonight despite being away all this weekend.

But I have a cuppa, two snoring cats at my feet and it's nearly Friday, so no dragging myself out of bed to deal with work related bollocks for two days.

Yay. Go me.

Mitz I'm so sorry things are absolutely shot for you right now. But please remember you don't have to do anything for anyone else that leaves you feeling helpless

Thanks.

I'll get over myself in the end. I always do - too bloody stubborn to give up (or know when I'm beaten/should keep my mouth shut and my head down).

I'll just go along - because I want to - deal with whatever shit happens, whether it's insults, the silent treatment or whatever else (I don't think being nice to me is ever going to feature in the list, though [shrug]) - it's one time where keeping my mouth shut is obligatory, mainly because it would upset any of his friends attending and it's not an appropriate place for inflicting the fucked up DNA sharing dynamic on anybody else - and then I'll come home with DP and leave her/them to it.

I did my bit at the hospital. I put up with all the insults and criticisms and attempts to provoke or hurt me, both in person prior to that and by proxy without reacting. Because I wasn't there for me, I was there for him. And I stayed when it was 'too hard' for anybody else. They can't understand that. They will mock, criticise and claim there were sneaky motives for doing so. I don't give a fuck. I know why I was there and so does DP - it was the right thing to do, though it was so sad and scary and painful - not everything in life is easy when it's important.

I don't think anybody else I share some DNA with will get the same from me. He was worth it, he deserved it. And, after the funeral, I'm done and I will get back to something more like myself again.

I'm stubborn like that.

Mitz - your attitude is brilliant. You should be proud of yourself. Hope everything goes smoothly ( and without incident ). And, if it does you'll be safe in the knowledge that it's the last time ( hopefully) that you'll ever need to be in contact with her.

I'm having one of those too. Children being twats, DH being a twat, school politics driving me batshit, local community issues pissing me off, my staff driving me mad and having to given second warnings, stupid things breaking and needing fixing around the house. I just want to stand in a field and scream.

It's Friday! It's the weekend tomorrow. Hopefully things will get better. And breathe.

Work manic busy and I had to rearrange a nice trip (driving 90 minutes to another office for 1 meeting, stop for nice lunch at garden centre en route back) because someone else thought it would be a great idea to rearrange their kick off meeting (developing a new strategy) to 2:30 on a Friday - 3 hours talking about the technicalities of artificial intelligence!

Dh was away, again, flight delayed last night. But this week I had asked (about 3 months ago, including note in his diary) that he be home as I had a consultant appointment I was worried about - and that logistics were tricky for getting dd from school. But he’s also at the beck and call of others.

Dd is coming up to exams (first year so not important but first formal ones) and her adhd/asd are spiking, and major anxiety showing. So we’re back to restricted eating and serious meltdowns. And needing full time parental involvement.

So I have a pile of stuff to do for Scouts and an article to write for something else, and a different article for professional development purposes, that are all not getting done.

My boss retired suddenly (wife terminally ill) so whole there are 3 of us at my level, I am taking the main burden (busiest section and also the only 1 stepping up). 1 of my staff out for medical reasons, another is demoralized and looming to move (not me, or our work, wants to develop a competency not available on our section). But we were in Parliament this week and finally made some progress on 1 of the 4 major projects we’re juggling! So that’s a good thing. Even if manic busy because of it.

dMIL has given DH serious grief and guilt. He and DD were always going to the FHC is DN down there (2.5 hours away), and traveling after a sailing commitment tonight (we expect to arrive after 11pm). But my Cubs are Saturday morning and as the leader in charge, I can’t skip unless I get cover and that was difficult - so dMIL was grumbling that I wouldn’t make it. Why? Why can’t she come? Despite me saying it for months and she knows I have this commitment, it wasn’t just while dd was there. I was actually doing my best to find leaders! (And successful in the end). But if I visit my family on the Sunday, there will be grief about that too. (And from the woman who refuses to use her free travel pass to get the train, dropped by 1 son and collected by car by me at the other end, to come visit us).

Dd has clothes out but not in a bag, while dh and I haven’t even managed to get clothes out yet. Need to wash dd uniform while she’s sailing so have time then, and I have managed to get out of driving a rib on safety duty tonight (I’m helping 6 of the 8 weeks - lots of parents don’t do the 1 asked of them, hence the need for willing ones to cover a lot).

Food shopping and laundry systems are just about still intact. But both creaking badly.

I’ve been told I can’t take parental leave to support dd over the summer - unpaid leave - because we have never sought a specific benefit from government to support her, because we work and can afford to support her when lots can’t so didn’t want to take what we didn’t need. So now I have another paperwork battle ahead of me.

So yeah, I’ll be happy to see the back of this week. (And there’s no drink in MILs house unless I turn to whiskey...).

Oh Mitzik

Mine is health related and has some good mixed in with the bad.

I have had a diagnosis of osteoarthritis for 30 years. During that time there have been queries about rheumatoid arthritis and, because I developed psoriasis at the same time, psioritic arthritis. Nothing has ever shown in blood tests so I just accepted that it is osteoarthritis.

Over the last two years I have had cellulitis in my ankle and leg. Apparently an infection from psoriasis got into the deep tissues. It was dreadfully painful and as I am allergic to most antibiotics, was difficult to treat. I also felt absolutely exhausted constantly and therefore very down at heart.

The warm weather started and my symptoms eased, I reduced painkillers and anti-inflammatory drugs and felt full of energy in some many ways. Life felt good and full of promise. I bumped into an old friend who gave me some information about psioritic arthritis, which gave me hope.

Two days ago I woke up with all symptoms in full flare mode.
One knee so swollen, the other ankle impossibly painful, feet swollen, full on flu like symptoms.
I have to work, I have a big event at the project I am volunteering with, I have to move a pile of flagstones for the garden. Every movement hurts.

I have had a tantrum this morning because I can't get my foot into the Dr Marten sandals I treated myself to for the summer. I have wanted this particular pair for many years, they were iconic in the 90s and I could never afford them. Trawling on internet, I discovered 50% off bargain. They arrived yesterday and I was in too much pain to open the parcel.
DW urged me to try them this morning before she went to work. I should have said No, I am so sore and sorry for myself. They were tight (as DW pointed out DMs often are) and I lost it!

I am so ashamed at being crushed by this, by my temper, by my lack of resilience. I am so lucky in my life, I work with refugees and asylum seekers who would love to have any new bloody sandals.
Just reading this thread I am aware my problems are small in the scheme of things.

But I could just sit here and howl, I don't want to drink turmeric latte, give up gluten, wear sensible shoes, stand back while other people do the tasks I used to do so easily. I hate my body being a barometer for the weather, I hate dreading seeing a cloudy sky.

Oh and yes, I hate the worst bout of hay fever ever this week too, to add insult to injury. I therefore, coughed, sneezed or surreptitiously wiped my dripping nose in every encounter with another human being I met!
Go away this week, I don't like you!

And, and, Russell wotsit, the astrology guru, predicted this in a free magazine I read at the community centre. In fact, I blame him, he can bugger off too.