Is DS school being unfair?

[flipflop09]

NC for this

My DS has severe ASD and attends a SEN school, which I have always had nothing but praise for..

School arranged a 2 day camping trip for the children about 30mins from home. We chose for our DS to not attend as he has only spent a handful of nights away from home, and only at his grandparents. Also we don't think he is ready to be away from us for that long just yet - his development age is much behind his actual age.

School has now decided that, to keep costs low (apparently) they will be camping at the school instead (!) and doing activities during school hours, in the evening and have children camp over. I think this is a bad idea baring in mind most People with ASD are very particular about routine and this will totally confuse them as they usually go home after a day at school.

I've received a letter saying that although my DS won't be there for evening activities or staying overnight, we have to pay £30 for his daytime activities. Now I'm not tight, but AIBU for thinking this is a bit unfair?? We chose for our DS not to attend the camp and have now been told we don't have a choice and have to cough up £30. I don't know exactly what these activities are or why they warrant that kind of money when it's being held at school.
I'm also thinking of the parents who didn't send their children camping in the first place because of the cost... it's a lot of money to some people and I think it's completely unfair.

Like I said, I have nothing but praise for the school and how they have helped my DS development, this has just narked me.

YABU

I think before you can make any decisions you need to find out what the nature of the activities are.

Although your child has ASD some people even though they are at an SEN school may not. You should know never to generalise where SEN is concerned.

I do get your point though re cost. However if you genuinely can't afford the cost then usually schools have some sort of funds available so that those who cannot afford such costs can access these to participate.

But your argument for him not going on the camp was because of the staying overnight element, now that he has the chance, don't you want him to take part in the day time activities and then come home at night?

If you don't pay the £30 then I assume he just won't take part in the activities but that might upset him seeing everyone else doing them.

Is the day activities during normal school hours? Surely they can’t charge kids £30 to attend compulsory education? Even if they have a separate room for those who can’t afford it, that would be a very mean way to treat other children.

Not even remotely unreasonable. I wouldn't pay the £30.

Ok not everyone wants to discuss their finances with their child's teacher.

Like with anything there should be a choice whether to pay or not so YANBU if they have given no option but to pay £30 (as in he doesn't take part and does somehing else within the school) wrt camping at the school I don't think it's your place to say the other pupils will struggle with it, that is for their parents to decide.

He would have been going to school as usual on the days they were going camping.

I have spoken to other parents who were originally going to send their DC camping but have now decided not to as it would confuse them. It's not just myself that feels that way.

Sounds to me like a lot of kids were not camping and this 'day camp' is to cover the costs of the presumably bought in 'camp'.

They don't need to discuss the finances with the teacher though. They can go to the head or whoever deals with other financial issues such as pupil premium.

What does your son want to do? I personally think activities like this are a good way to build independance for SEN kids and you should give him a chance to try it.

My son has ASD and hates activity/non uniform/whatever days (thohg he loves school trips and overnight stays)

YANBU. The schoolo should not be charging for activities that happen within the normal school day unless its an optional trip.

@Teddybear45

He doesn't understand it. He wouldn't be able to 'decide' if he wants to do the activities. His ASD is quite severe and his development age is only about 3 - 3.5 years. He would go into school those days expecting to do the things he usually does. I still haven't heard back as to what these activities are but I'm quite confident he wouldn't take part anyway and would probably spend the day in his classroom with a teacher

Sorry just remembered I did a NC for the post then changed it back 🤦🏻‍♀️

Everyone always wants something for free .

@Comefromaway

My DS is the same re non uniform days. I still send him in his school uniform as he knows when I put his uniform on where he is going. If I dressed him in non uniform and sent him to school it would probably cause a meltdown

@IAmTheChosenOne

Excuse me?? We chose to NOT send him on the trip. We don't expect anything for free. We aren't being given a choice.

YANBU. This would really piss me off. I don't think they can insist last minute that you pay £30 for him to be at school for the day with no opt out. You definitely won't be the only parent who is annoyed about this.

However if your DC wants to do it and you can spare £30 then just do it. Don't cut your nose off to spite your face.

@PregnantSea

It's really not the money, it's the principle. If it was something I knew he'd love I'd have said that I thought the way they have gone about it is wrong, but would still pay.
It's also that I can almost guarantee he won't take part at all and will probably be in his classroom with a teacher all day.

It can't actually be compulsory. Could you just explain your DS wouldn't enjoy the activities so you're going to opt out?

Just say he won't be participating and don't pay.

My son's asd school does 'camp ins' and there aren't any problems. If you don't want him to take part in the activities just write a note saying that. They can't make you pay.