to be scared the non molestation order won't be granted?

[namechangedtoday88]

I've filed for a non molestation order against my ex.

Has anyone heard of them not being granted or successfully appealed? He was emotionally abusive and I'm really scared they won't think it's serious enough or that it isn't necessary. He would LOVE the control that gave him, to not have the order granted.

does anyone have any experience? I'm happy to go in to details regarding what he's been like towards me but would rather not be too specific if I don't have to. I find it hard even talking about it...

I'm considering withdrawing the whole thing as I'm just so scared it'll be a waste of time. I feel sick.

Don't withdraw it! If there's a chance of it getting through, it'll be great for you x

@KissUntilTheyDieOfRabies I just feel like if it isn't, and he is taking me to court regarding child arrangements, it'll go against me and I don't want that. He's in my head and I am all messed up.

Do not withdraw the application, the courts take domestic violence very seriously and would listen carefully to your reasons. It is natural that you are feeling so sick and wobbly at this time but think how much better you will feel later.

I'm so scared. I'll have to face him. I actually feel like I'm going to vomit and I haven't even approved the statement or phoned the court yet. Oh god. This is awful.

Please don’t withdraw it, the family court take dv very seriously, I had no witnesses or hard evidence but mine was granted without question, it literally saved me. Take care of yourself

@DollyDan really? I'm so glad it worked out for you in that instance. That's really brilliant. I hope they take it seriously considering there's no physical violence (other than him punching inanimate objects and throwing something at a wall next to me)

Hi OP, I have a Non Mol in place and was terrified going through the whole process, but please do not give it up. Let the court guide you, get as much evidence as possible, speak to your GP about how all of this is getting to you.

Your ex probably will not even turn up to contest it because he will know you can prove what he has done. My ex did contest it but failed to comply with CAFCAS and the court, then did not even bother turning up to the final hearing.

@FireflyEden I only have evidence for some things but I do have threatening messages from him. I just want peace. If he wants to see his son he needs to take me to court. Not send me aggressive threatening messages. I'm really nervous of him. He said if I'm awkward things will end badly, and 'do I want that?' - to me that's a threat. I'm scared court won't see things like that as serious. I'm just a huge nervous wreck.

Try not too worry (easier said than done) make sure you list absolutely everything that he has said or done that has made you feel threatened or harassed (and anyone who witnessed any of these incidents), the fact you have the messages is really positive. If you have had to go to th doctors/councillors/ had time off work or anything like that list that too, remember it’s not a criminal court but a family one and they are there to protect you, wish you lots of luck

OP in my old job I supported a lot of women to get non mols, it's rare they're rejected, an application is taken very seriously, the thinking being if you don't want someone to contact you they shouldn't. Could you speak to your local women's aid? They will know the courts in your area and might even have a volunteer who will come with you. Gather as much evidence as you can but don't worry if you don't have everything.

If you withdraw it, your ex will probably try to spin it as you making false allegations against him and then withdrawing them. Go through with it. It's not a disaster if it's not granted, but it's worth trying.