Without going into too much detail, because I could be here for days, my ex of 5 years broke up with me while pregnant, didn't want to know. I found out many things about him after this so it's a good job really but prior to this he was a great guy, obviously just a good liar. Pregnancy was a surprise as I was on the pill.
When DD was born he started texting me, I travelled to his country so he could meet her, rocky start as he wasn't making much effort but then he was coming to see her. I gave him a chance, purely for DD sake. Took her twice more to see him, he can't come to me for visa issues.
He doesn't pay any money for her, he's bought her a few gifts like clothes etc but not much. I tried to bite my tongue and just be civil so DD could have a relationship with him, we argued a couple times during my visit as he was spotted out one night when he told me he was too tired to come see DD After work.
We had discussed me bringing her to see him again this year. So in March I told him it was officially booked and paid for to which he told me he will not be there anymore. Obviously big argument, so I'm here in his country, he's made no effort to contact me to see DD. (I also have many friends here as I used to work here and my mum is with me so we're treating it as a holiday)
Is it childish if I just block everything from him so he can't see any pictures of her or how's shes doing? I feel if he isn't making the effort to find out how she is then he shouldn't have the privilege of seeing how she's growing and how great she is.
I have been going to counselling and my counsellor went over this and suggested I just "do nothing" as in don't block him, dont text him etc. But this has started to irritate me as he thinks everything's fine because he can see how she's doing and knows she's ok therefore doesn't need to ask.
He's no good for her, and I don't really want him in DD life as he will just let her down and she's 13 months now so I don't want her to learn who he is just for him to hurt her.
But I don't know if I'm just letting my emotions get the better of me. I always thought having her dad in her life was important but I feel now it will affect her negatively as he's a major let down. I feel if I block him then I have had the power to stop him from hurting her, whereas at the moment I feel he has the upper hand as he can just text when he wants and see how she's doing through my social media. Of course every parents has a right to see their child, and how they're doing, but if they're not making any effort to contact them then is it fair that they get to see them grow through pictures even though they're doing nothing for them.
It's occupying my mind so much and I feel I can't relax. I thought he would make an effort to see her at least one day, but he hasn't and so I wanna block him as closure. But like I said, I don't know if that's childish to stop him from seeing any photos etc.