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Original poster

How would you proceed with making ex sell house?

31 replies

islandholiday · 15/05/2019 07:59

I'm really at my wits end with this and I don't know how to proceed.

Very abusive ex husband, finally managed to leave 4 years ago. This left him living in family home which we jointly own.

We got a court order a year ago saying the house needed to be sold within 3 months.

Well a year later the house isn't even on the market.
I have tried to do it myself via an agent, but as we're joint owners he needs to provide his details which he won't agree to do. His reason being 'we haven't agreed agent'
My compromise was that we lost with two agents. Mine and his, but he won't agree to that either.

The reason I won't agree to his agent only is that I know he doesn't really mean it. He wants to use a really obscure online only agent, then I doubt that he'd proceed with any viewings. My compromise is that he can go ahead and use them if he wants, but I can also use the one I want.

Basically he doesn't want to move out. I am not sure what to do now.

We have a court order saying the house must be sold, we are already a year over due from that. He doesn't really care about that.

I've spent £20,000 on lawyer fees already and he's not scared of them at all.

Does anyone have any advice what I should do? Once the house is on the market there will be countless opportunities to delay, such as not accepting offers etc. But I don't know how to even get over this hurdle.

Any advice gratefully received

OP posts:
IAmTheChosenOne · 15/05/2019 08:02

Its half your house. Rent out rooms to crack addicts. Or alternatively go back to court, he's in contempt.

Itsmellslikefr3shgrass · 15/05/2019 08:05

If he wants to stay, he buys you out of your half
If he can't afford, you both sell

Stressedout10 · 15/05/2019 08:16

Evict him not that expensive and as he is in breach of a court order already it should go easier than normal but you'll probably have to get bailiffs to kick him out

Original poster
islandholiday · 15/05/2019 08:21

Ah ok those are extreme solutions- I could say he is in contempt of court I suppose. I doubt I'd get him evicted seems a bit extreme

OP posts:
IceRebel · 15/05/2019 08:21

We got a court order a year ago saying the house needed to be sold within 3 months.

Were there any consequences as a result of him ignoring this?

Original poster
islandholiday · 15/05/2019 08:22

Well yes he can't buy me out- he'd NEVER give me the money. But he won't sell either.
But yes it is half my house

OP posts:
IceRebel · 15/05/2019 08:22

I doubt I'd get him evicted seems a bit extreme

Extreme? You've spent 20K on this process so far and are still in limbo, eviction seems pretty tame given the situation. Confused

Original poster
islandholiday · 15/05/2019 08:24

No consequences were written into the order if it wasn't sold within 3 months, just that we'd need to accept a lower offer to ensure it still sold- but I can't even get it on the market to start with!

OP posts:
happyasasandboy · 15/05/2019 08:25

If you won't "evict" him then there's nothing to stop him staying there forever Hmm He's shown you that he'll only leave when he's forced to.

The only real option is to take it back to court. See your solicitor and be absolutely clear that you want to take the quickest approach to releasing your capital. Lodge court dates while you speak with his solicitor/him, don't wait for months of back-and-to before you apply for a date as it'll be more months on the waiting list. You can always cancel court dates if you don't need them, with only a few hundred quid lost.

Original poster
islandholiday · 15/05/2019 08:26

But even if he was evicted he still owns the house and would need to provide legal details and anti money laundering details

Plus I couldn't get him evicted when he was abusing me and the children- doubt I'd manage it now by saying 'he won't agree estate agent'

OP posts:
Sirzy · 15/05/2019 08:26

Court can force it.

Also look into occupational rent. From what you have said he may owe you half of what market rent would have been for the period he has lived there.

Treaclesweet · 15/05/2019 08:27

He abused you, is costing you thousands upon thousands of pounds, but you wouldn't get him evicted? Really?

Remember, he would do it to you in the blink of an eye. Don't spare his feelings.

Original poster
islandholiday · 15/05/2019 08:30

Ooh that sounds good re occupational rent!
His argument would be he's paying the mortgage in full each month- so I'm still profiting.

Yes lodging court dates sounds good idea- that's why divorce took so long - waiting for blooming dates.

Judge gave us a big warning though not to come back( have been 4 times now) he'd take really dim view of both of us. Ex is so persuasive, judge kept on listening and believing him too.

Think I'll send a few more emails in offfical language so I've got a good record of obstruction too

OP posts:
happyasasandboy · 15/05/2019 08:31

You can't "evict" him. But the court can force the sale. And they will. But you have to go back, explain what's happened, and ask them to.

Since it's been a year and you've let it drift, I suspect the court will give him 3 months to sell again before they'll take a harder line. But the only way to get your money (which I'm assuming is what you want, rather than him out, per se?) is to keep going back to court and pushing. He won't leave willingly until it suits him.

Original poster
islandholiday · 15/05/2019 08:32

I don't know how eviction would speed up the process though

Yes he'd definitely do it to me!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 15/05/2019 08:32

If he is paying the mortgage in full then it’s harder re occupational rent. Although if there is a large difference between mortgage and what the rent would be then it can still be applied

Original poster
islandholiday · 15/05/2019 08:33

Yes I've totally let it drift

Ok will keep pushing hard, thanks

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 15/05/2019 08:44

Back to court, simple.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/05/2019 08:46

So have you been back to court since he breached the court order? Surely the Court can push it as its their order?

Ellie56 · 15/05/2019 08:53

You need to get tougher OP. Get back to court and let the twat see you mean business.

IsHastingsWifeTheRealH · 15/05/2019 09:05

You are still in an abusive relationship with this man whilst you are allowing him to dictate to you. No need to spare his feelings, he has total disrespect for you. Do whatever you need to and sever ties with him completely. It will cost you far more emotionally in the long run if you don't.

MonicaGB · 15/05/2019 09:25

I was in this exact situation. It took years but through the courts I got him evicted, then an agreement that the judge would sign the documents on his behalf as he was being obstructive to selling the house. It was so slow to get it done, including getting the bailiffs in etc, but I got there in the end. Just make sure that your solicitor always asks for costs so that he is paying for it all.

Keep all evidence of him being obstructive and the judge should hopefully see what he is doing.

MonicaGB · 15/05/2019 09:26

Also be prepared for him to trash the house before he is evicted....

Original poster
islandholiday · 15/05/2019 17:57

Thanks for all the advice! This is just what I was needing. Yes still feel like I'm in a relationship with him so trying to get him out the house for the money and also to end things once and for all.

This is his final hold over me which is why he is not letting go!

OP posts:
DizzyPigeon · 15/05/2019 18:02

I had to evict my ex in order to get the house sold. Totally worth it, would do it again tomorrow if I had to.

I had an amazing solicitor that made the whole process stress free, I didn't have to appear in court once. And because he was the problem, the court ordered that my solicitors costs to force the sale and to get him evicted was to come from his proceeds of sale.

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