To ask what you would do?!? Potential issue at work

[ApplePieIsAmazing]

Back when I was 18/19 I was questioning my sexuality and went on a couple dates with this girl. We had 1 or 2 kisses, I worked out I was definitely straight. I called It off, she was heartbroken and I felt terrible. I haven't spoken to her since and have gotten married

Now I'm 25 and I heard she applied for work where I am. I'm terrified my husband and my colleagues will find out if she gets the job. My colleagues are slightly homophobic and will absolutely take this piss out of me and I just want to leave all of that in the past.

What should I do if she gets the job? Just pretend nothing happens and hope she does the same? I'm not homophobic, just don't want this info out there

Same @Catchingbentcoppers

🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I highly doubt that this woman (who may also have realised she was straight and have a male partner now, for all you know) will be going around telling all the homophobes in your office about how gay she is (and how gay you might have once been too). She'll probably be freaking out as much as you are. If she even gets the job, just say hi, be friendly, and don't make a big deal of it. That said, even the most homophobic dudes I know don't have an issue with two girls kisses, so even if she did tell absolutely everyone, I doubt it will be more than a passing curiosity for anybody. And nearly all of us have kissed some girls in the past (and actually lots of men have experimented with another guy too), even if you're heterosexual.

Do nothing!! It's none of work's business.

If she gets the job, be friendly and welcoming. She's hardly going to waltz in on her first day and shout 'Oh Apple! I snogged you years ago!' is she?

What should I do if she gets the job?

"Hello new hire, I'm ApplePie and I work in sales on the 5th floor"
"Actually we've met"
"Ah you're right, so we have, how are you? Nice to see you again and welcome to Company! Anyway, must get on, see you later at the morning meeting"

@mindutopia
"And nearly all of us have kissed some girls in the past..........even if you're heterosexual."

Nearly all of us? Assuming you're in the UK, has there been a poll of the near 70 million people of our kingdom? Are you generalising, even just a little bit?

OP, Try not to worry as the woman may not even get the job. If she does, why would you think she'd tell everyone you've kissed? Do you tell your colleagues all your private stuff?
Definitely don't tell them first if she does get the job as she may not want her private life in the public domain.

Apologies I can now see my advice wasn’t great I failed to think of the other girl and/or if she was out would like her business discussed. I work in a small team and we are friendly therefore we share a lot of life details I now understand tris was the wrong advice.

Thanks for the reality check everyone, you're totally right. She is definitely lesbian and as another commenter guessed, I am at a shipyard. Thanks for all your comments, I have nothing to worry about or feel ashamed about

Glad the thread helped OP

I have nothing to worry about or feel ashamed about

And neither should she!

It’s her I feel sorry for starting at a new place where her colleagues are homophobic

I work with a lovely guy who inconveniently for me, seems to have had close encounters with most of the male interviewees who cross our path.

He has to tell me as he can't then interview them due to a conflict of interest and I have to discreetly deal with this. It's happened with trainers too.

I'm quite envious of his social life and there's no judgement whatsoever but it regularly causes me issues and has even lost us a couple of candidates who I guessed feared being outed.

Don't say a thing, is my advice.

This cannot be real. Quite frankly you sound homophobic OP.

I have been straight my entire life except for a 1 yr period when I dated a woman. I'm not even remotely embarrassed or ashamed of it. It is part of who I am.

Get a grip and own your life choices.

carly That’s hilarious! Are they all a particular type of man? Eg if you run a gym I can imagine a person very much going for personal trainers. It doesn’t seem so likely if you are trying to hire a middle manager at an insurance firm! Or just weird coincidence? Or has he had encounters with so many men that just by the law of averages you will interview them????

Don’t worry. It’s in the past and nothing, NOTHING to cause shame.