"I've just come out from four years in prison . . .

[longwayoff]

Not me, the hefty young man who knocked at my door, started the above spiel, said "let me finish!" when I interrupted him and, when I said I haven't any money in the house, called me a cunt because I laughed when he said I could pay by bank transfer. AIBU to suggest these door knockers could use some training? Who are these people and where do they come from? They are always northerners and crop up about twice a year with a sob story.

I've never had one of these, but we get loads of Jehovah's knocking. And it always seems to be when i'm hungover, makeup all down my face, and just wearing knickers and one of DPs oversized death metal tshirts that I wear in bed.

They usually don't bother trying to engage with me when I stand there in front of them in a Cannibal Corpse tshirt.

We regularly get Nottingham knockers (not sure what they are called in Nottingham!)or on a "probation scheme" from Gravesend - all peddling tat from a holdall and dressed in designer gear.

Yep Nottingham knockers. Our village has been warned against them. They sell expensive, sub standard stuff and get agressive if you refuse to buy. There is always a sob story about having been a bad boy and now trying to go straight.

We have a variation. It's young Asian men (highly relevant) wanting money for a taxi. Their story is always that they've come from some distance to visit their cousin at number xx but the cousin isn't in, it's too late to get a train and they need to get back home.

I live in an area with a high Asian population, and house number xx has a small illuminated sign of The Blessed Slipper in the window, which is why they feel completely safe saying that's where they're going. But we know the people at xx well, so they feel a lot less safe when I say 'oh I know they're in, I was round there half an hour ago. They mustn't have heard you at the door. Hang on while I ring them, they wouldn't want to miss you.'

At this point most of them scarper, but one decided to call my bluff. His face was a picture when our xx neighbour appeared at our door and had a right go. Word must have gone round, because we haven't had anyone calling since.

It’s amazing how many people derailed a useful thread that gave warning of a scam. Are you that sensitive about being Northern?

We get them where I live, they’re nicknamed The Nottingham Knockers, messages go out on Nextdoor app warning neighbors to be aware

I had one who screamed ‘Fuck you’ multiple times when I said I didn’t want anything. He then walked away, but came back to the house and pounded in the door. Clearly I ignored this. It was very frightening ans I was in the house alone with my small children. I later found out he had just been released after serving time for stabbing someone.

*on the door!

@teyem

Oh yeah, sometimes all us Northerners get together and think of new and interesting ways to annoy the Southerners. I'll have to report back that it was a success.

😂🙏

I am a fully certified northerner living in the south.

At my previous address we were constantly targeted by these people but they all had a Middlesborough accent. The line usually started with “I’m just out of prison but don’t worry, I’m not dangerous.”

I now no longer answer the door to people with rucksacks or holdalls!

Get a cctv camera then you will see who is at you door before you open it. Do not open to random people you dont know or who have no appintment.

Nottingham is in the East Midlands, not the North.

ZOMBIE ALERT!

Do you live in Westeros @longwayoff?
Are those free folk coming over t’wall again?

@SofiaMichelle goddamn it! I hate when I get caught by a zombie!

Had this at old house. Neighbours said that they are scoping vulnerable people to burgle and mark the house somehow. If a mark ever appears on your house wash it off immediately. Be polite, don’t buy off them and ring 101.

Bluesheep8

Nottingham is in the East Midlands, not the North.

Yes! Southerners say the Midlands is the north, northerners call it the south. It’s the Midlands!!

Although it is a zombie thread I’m quite heartened by the number of times Middlesbrough is spelled correctly. FWIW here in Middlesbrough all our knockers are Geordies and Scousers. Oh and fun fact: although Middlesbrough does have some criminals it does not actually have a jail.

I missed this thread first time around. How is the Northerner's grand evil scheme going? Have you bankrupted Kent yet?

Well I never did. 'Twas 2 days ago when one of these young men called this year. He was perfectly polite and pleasant when I declined to buy anything. So I've no complaints about him. Dont worry about zombies. I have a shovel to hand.

Bloody northerners. Was he from Milton Keynes? 😂

I don't like it when random people knock on my door, especially men. Feels unsafe.

I live in Shropshire and we have had a couple from North East (as am I) I commented on the accent sounding like home. We had a chat I bought a couple of bits £5 in total and gave him a can of coke. He was very pleasant. He wasn’t scrounging or begging and the stuff was ok.

I think the scam is called "Nottingham Knockers". We've had it twice in completely different areas of the country.

Get a good look for a very detailed description then call the police and pass it on. Height, features, eyes, voice, hair, clothes, words used.

Yours won't be the only door he knocked. They can collate his movements and it's quite possible he has already forced his way in and robbed some vulnerable person who was too shocked and scared to take in his details.