Thank you all so much! All the advice has really given me perspective and after reading your responses and a few articles we sat down for a long chat. We are in separate bedrooms at the moment and he is respecting my space. We are planning on doing something nice over the weekend and he has agreed to try a yoga class on Sunday after which he can come back and hog the covers again. I don't expect him to come every Sunday but I think a calming and grounding activity together will help.
Thank GOD the football season is over for a bit, he said he has no matches booked for next season and wants to be there for the baby which has greatly alleviated my fears of having to manage on weekends while he's at the match and pub. I fully expect him to still watch at home with a couple of beers and see nothing wrong with that. So I suppose things are changing but just at a different pace to what I expect and sometimes that can be hard if not communicated.
He has made me aware of how he feels left out at my family's weddings because we are all very close, especially me and my brothers. He admits a part of it was for attention and we have agreed that I'm going to make more of an effort to make him feel included at family events and he will speak to me instead of lashing out. The truth is, I DO make a GREAT effort to make him feel included but obviously, it's not enough. BUT it's not a reason for him to be flirting and dancing with other women. Mainly because it's not what he would expect of me, he has admitted that he would be mortified if I behaved the way he did. It has taken 4 months for him to admit this!
I think we know the difference between socialising and flirting so we should follow our gut and call our husbands out if it's something we're uncomfortable with because there's usually a reason. That being said, everyone has different rules in their marriage and I think as long as they are the same for both of you, it's all fair. I agree that to some people this isn't a big deal, but as I said he would be uncomfortable with me doing it so I don't think my feelings were unfair.
@MrsTerryPratchett - quite rightly, some of us expect a change and others expect men to stay the same! Sometimes the things we want them to change don't and things we want to keep the same aren't! We have had a long chat about that as well and written down what we expect from each other so we are making our commitments clear. We discussed each point and how we could work on them (allowed ourselves 3 each). Let's see if it works! I have to admit I miss the affection, cards and flowers I used to get when we were dating and engaged but don't see all of that making a return. I know I need to let go of that expectation.
@VampirateQueen - Had no idea I was pregnant at the wedding, came back and tested positive. We must have conceived the ONE time we didn't use protection before we went away on our anniversary night (sorry if that's TMI). I would like to thank you and @Dutch1e, @Sammind - the first trimester was horrible and in week 15 I can really look back at how miserable I was. I do think men need to understand this phenomenon. We shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to be with our spouses during this time but agree that no decisions should be made. Even the way he ate was infuriating me! After our in depth chat I feel better and know adjusting to each other during pregnancy can really take a toll on your relationship. I can see many more discussions to come and under no illusion that everything is fixed haha! I hope things have been reset though.
@bluebluezoo - your points are all valid and I suppose I expected a slight change just from boy to man sort of thing haha. He is making the changes now because he thinks life calls for it. I suppose they are slower than I would have liked but I am grateful he's catching up at least for the sake of our child. He gave his season pass away last weekend but hadn't told me yet. I am slightly speechless because I know what a big deal that is for him.
We know flirting when we see it and if it's something you both don't accept from each other then it's fair to be affected by it right? I don't think 'at least he didn't sleep with them' should ever be the answer to anything personally. I can see this may work for some people but I've had a very different experience with this school of thought and been burnt many times before. I've been in relationships before (in my early 20s - basically a decade ago) where I have thought that and quite honestly those are the ones where either one of us have ended up cheating because the actions of the other person keep toeing the line.
Again thank you all and hope your husbands and hormones are settling!