To worry there are not enough free weekly events for mums or dads and their babies in UK

[Mammajay]

I just visited my local library and it was chock full of baby buggies and the children's section was packed to the doorway with mums and their babies ( didn't see any dads). I commented to the librarian about how essential such events were when my children were babies. He replied that this was that second session today and that there had been 50 mums at the earlier session. To be honest they were both so crowded that mums standing at the back probably won't have fully enjoyed it. So I googled free mum and baby stuff in my area but most were private charged for events in church halls. So, what is on offer where you are? I had no parental or family support and didn't belong to a church but the library and local mother and toddler groups put on by various churches in their halls were wonderfully supportive.

Also the point is we used to pay for all this and it’s not unreasonable to think that priority should be put on the well-being of parents and children. Why are we all so keen to not have the government look after its populace in anything but the most basic of ways.

The issue about cost is a bigger one. Money put into sure start style centres targeted at ( but not exclusively for) more vulnerable groups = huge savings in society (health/ education/ employment) for years to come.

As in, why can’t we have a good NHS, good schools, and more support in the early years? The Tory lie that they dismantled the public sector for our own good and not for ideological reasons?

I live in an affluent area of London, and there is frankly too much free stuff.

This week, we've been to messy play and 'chop and chomp' (messy play with fruit and veg which they eat), there are buggy fit classes, daily sessions in libraries, music groups in the church, all sorts.

I get that these are put on for people with low incomes, but the vast majority of those attending could easily pay a few quid to cover the session, and there isn't even a mechanism to give a voluntary donation at most of the sessions. I would guess that 70% turn up clutching a £3 cup of coffee, so there isn't any reason they couldn't be paying for the sessions

It makes me uncomfortable that when so many local services are massively stretched, the council is providing a huge subsidy to yummy mummy types to keep them occupied on maternity leave

Yes, long term outcomes for Sure Start were great. Down the line education levels and health would benefit.

Why can’t you read your own stories and why can’t money be spent on more families and age groups who really need it. There is hoards of stuff for under 8s precious little for those older and zilch for teens and their families.

Really depends where you live

I have been to free groups in the same day in the same town and found one was insanely busy and the other wasn't busy at all. Both free, too.

At the children's centre, the health visitors can let certain mums join groups for free if they think it's useful, otherwise it's usually £1.50-3 depending on the session, sometimes there's a free creche for something parent related. They also do family fun days and other events that are free every now and then.

Two local churches have a free group, another has a mix of free and paid for, another is £2.50 but has a sign that you should just fill in the tickbox on the form if you can't pay for the session. I expect that the other church sessions at £2-3 would also let someone in for free if they ask quietly, I just haven't noticed signs. A Lionel parents centre that I think might be a charity has specific free groups for young mums, mums of multiples etc, though they also have paid groups it's only £2.50. Soft play is £2-3 depending on age I think, I don't go yet because the noise is crazy.

The Hoop application includes some free events and anyone can sign up for free taster sessions; you can try out 10 things at least to give something different to do each week without having to sign up. Those tend to be £5-10 classes normally, so it's worth doing. SIL and I explored several areas with our two babies trying all manner of classes for free before we each signed up to regular stuff and lost interest in freebies for their own sake.

There are some breastfeeding groups and baby play areas, though a lot of stuff is in cafes or pubs so someone is really expected to get a coffee. An occasional one just getting tap water probably wouldn't be noticed nor minded. Then there are the playgrounds and a coffee stand near one where mums tend to gather and talk to anyone turning up.

I think the main difficulty is when someone is shy, because then they don't get chatting to other mums to find out what's free and cheap in the first place. Our health visitors seemed quite on the ball in asking if we go to any groups, if I'm meeting up with other mums etc, just a shame the council are currently trying to cut their budget. (Petitions signed!)

Absolutely nothing for severely disabled children where I live.

"Although when people say “who should pay for it, the government?” As if it’s ridiculous, the benefit to parents mental health would be huge"

Agree with this. It's depressing how easily the current bastards in charge have indoctrinated us with the idea that it's ridiculous and "grabby" to expect the government to actually fund stuff that helps people (as opposed to pouring money down the Brexit drain).

YABU. I’ve met all of my mum friends at playgrounds. There are also loads of opportunities to meet through those NHS classes/at children’s centres, through school/nursery, through other friends etc. Playgrounds etc are really not essential to anything.

@Ihatemycommute123 so you think the government is right to take money from people who earn it to fund these things. When governments spend money they are spending tax payers money. It is pretty grabby and entitled to expect other people to pay for your mat leave entertainment.

@Buglife there’s no money. If they kept spending st the level it was they would either have to sink the country even deeper into debt or raise taxes. The reason why the NHS, schools etc can’t be good is because British people are antitled and expect things they should be paying for for free punishing those who thrpughno fault of their own can’t pay 🤷‍♀️

Boggles if a mother is on Mat Leave they clearly pay tax too. Tax doesn’t work so you only pay tax on stuff you personally do or agree with. And many people have pointed out, including me who worked in the public sector and specialising on pre school family support, that it’s much much more than entertainment.

There is money if we taxed the right people more 🤷‍♀️ Or corporations. Or stopped wasting billions on Brexit. It’s priorities. But people who truly believe that the public sector was the problem all along can’t be argued with so we’ll agree we have vastly different opinions on this.

I think the best arrangement is that groups are paid for, with some free spots arranged by health visitors or church workers, so nobody needs to know who has paid or who hasn't. I don't mind paying a little extra if it subsidises spaces either.

We started our own toddler group locally for this reason. Low cost to cover costs only. Unless enough people are willing to do this, and take their turn, how can they possibly run? We are lucky in that we have lots of local parents desperate to meet up, but I know the idea has crashed and burned in other local areas where people expect things to arrive on a plate, for free. It’s annoying. Everything has a cost and public funds are stretched to the absolute limits.

Most paid groups are only a couple of pound round (most expensive I’ve been to is £3.50) here and if you have just had a baby you should really be able to afford that to be honest. Having dc isn’t free I’m afraid

These things cost money so who should be paying for these groups? Government? A money tree?

Maybe the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

Worker at a former Children's Centre here: we do still have activities on in our area but they are all supposed to be targeted towards families in the top 30% on the IMD, which is pretty much our entire area anyway. Statistics have proved that the outcomes are significant from Early Help services, and IMO, Surestart was the best thing that Tony Blair's government ever did. A lot of the centres are still going in some format, albeit with a broader remit and hugely reduced resources, but I could weep when I look back at the funding we used to get even four years ago.

There was loads of free stuff run by Sure Start when my first DC was born in 2009. By the time I had my second, three years later under a new government, most of it had been cut and there were only library sessions.

I did manage to pay for a couple of things, although didn't do nearly as much as with DC1 and money was tight on maternity pay. It must be very isolating if you're on a low income.

I would much prefer governments paid for Sure Start centres than wasted billions of pounds on Brexit. We always get this argument about there being no money to pay for things whereas really it's a matter of priorities. The "austerity" agenda has really done a number on a lot of people.

Is this a joke? You do realise these things cost money, time, etc? Fucking hell

*I get that these are put on for people with low incomes, but the vast majority of those attending could easily pay a few quid to cover the session, and there isn't even a mechanism to give a voluntary donation at most of the sessions. I would guess that 70% turn up clutching a £3 cup of coffee, so there isn't any reason they couldn't be paying for the sessions

It makes me uncomfortable that when so many local services are massively stretched, the council is providing a huge subsidy to yummy mummy types to keep them occupied on maternity leave*

I think the rationale is that charges put off people on very low incomes, so it's better to have it completely free at the point of use than means-tested. I relied on and loved free library activities when I was on maternity leave, and would have gladly given a few quid per session to help them keep running if there had been a mechanism to do so. We need to get better at asking services how we can contribute, whether it's through buying supplies for activities, or making a cash contribution to enable them to keep running activities for hard to reach groups.

MotherWol

I get that, but I just don't think it is working.

Better to charge everyone £3, and hand out a book of tokens/vouchers for those on low incomes to use (and lots of the paid-for classes already use a system of buying a book of tokens to use, so I don't think this would be stigmatising to those on low incomes)

I think the issue is that the middle class mums have a tendency to find and monopolise these sorts of classes. They turn up in their friendship groups with their coffee cups, and get stuck right into the activities and know all the words to 'wind the bobbin up'

But that must be quite intimidating to the low-income new mum who knows she doesn't have a chance in hell of penetrating that friendship group, or accepting the offer of going for coffee afterwards, or is worried about making a tit of herself for not knowing the words.

I just think it would be miles better for the money to be used on some better targeted services that provide better value for money for the council when they are trying to target a specific group rather than providing something that the vast majority of the attendees would pay for