To cut him off of not?

[lollypops321]

I'll try to keep this short..

Me and DP have been together 6 years. BIL has always had a drug problem since before we met. There are arguments about this within their family every week and I'm just sick of it.

Me and DP have a 9 month old baby and I hate her being around the stress and arguments from his problem. I don't want her growing up knowing about this sort of thing.

I work as a mental health nurse and have worked in a community drug and alcohol team and in a rehab. I have helped him as much as I can but he seems interested for a few weeks and then it's back to normal. I returned to work this week on an acute mental health ward so it's full on and stressful.

AIBU to cut him off from me and DD?
I feel like I have enough people to worry about without having him, who does nothing to help himself (and doesn't really want it, just does it to keep his family off his case).

I feel bad because it is DD's uncle and DP's brother, but I'm fed up with it

YANBU to keep him at a distance. What does your DP think? He could visit him or see him alone. I don’t blame you for wanting to stay away and keep your DD clear of him too.

DP hasn’t seen or spoke to him in about 3 weeks. He’s feeling pretty fed up too.

I don’t want him to feel like he can’t have a relationship with him just because I don’t want one at this moment in time.

Ideally I’d love for BIL to sort his problems, he is a lovely man and we all do get along well when the drugs haven’t taken over. We have a couple of good months, followed by a couple of bad.