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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I was discriminated against?

23 replies

RedDove · 13/05/2019 19:42

I had a job interview the other day - I met all the criteria and then some. I didn't get the job. While I can accept there was likely someone better than me, something keeps playing on my mind.

I was interviewed by the owner of the company. She looked at my ring finger and asked me about my 'situation' - if I was married, engaged etc. She then asked if I have children (I don't). She then mentioned an employee coming back to work recently after 6 weeks maternity leave. I expressed by surprise at this short amount of time,

Looking back, I can't help but think she was trying to work out if I was a risk. If I was going to get pregnant and go on a long maternity leave in the near future. It seemed an inappropriate topic to bring up. AIBU, am I reading too much into this?

OP posts:

TitusP · 13/05/2019 19:48

You are definitely not reading too much into it, that is disgraceful. I know it's easy for me to say but I think you've had a lucky escape, they sound like they'd be an awful company to work for!

Bumpitybumper · 13/05/2019 19:51

Sadly I think your instinct is probably right and that the business owner was keen to avoid another member of staff becoming pregnant and then taking a long time off on maternity leave. This reminds me of the times that I am stupid enough to venture onto the comments section of any Daily Mail articles related to maternity rights. There will always be a number of posters that claim to be business owners openly admiting that they purposely don't employ women of childbearing age to avoid these kinds of issues. Obviously I imagine that some of these posts are made by trolls that don't own businesses at all, but I can't help but believe that a significant proportion do and are actually telling the truth.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/05/2019 19:51

Had no right to ask your situation ! It’s illegal to discriminate against someone on the grounds of married/ children etc so they had no reason to ask. next time give a jokey non committal answer or tell them you’d like to keep on the subject of the role and your experience - or better yet lie

ChodeofChodeHall · 13/05/2019 19:55

This is very straightforward discrimination, IMO. YANBU!

WeeDangerousSpike · 13/05/2019 19:55

I've got a health condition that causes pretty noticeable bloating.

I was asked of I was pregnant in an interview a fortnight ago.

I said no. They asked if I might be soon.

I didn't get the job.

MummBraTheEverLeaking · 13/05/2019 20:21

Years back, I had an interview for a bookkeeping job and the boss was an absolute dinosaur, everything done via paper ledgers etc. Anyway, he came right on out and asked if I was thinking of having babies and that he'd rather get that out in the open because they were a small business and he couldn't afford to be doing with that At that point, babies weren't on my radar anyway but I couldn't believe he'd said it.

I couldn't wait to get out of that interview, and the next day I went on holiday. When I came back I had a message to give them a ring. Errrm nope.

Lucky escape, and for you too OP.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 13/05/2019 20:24

Sounds like it but what can you do in reality? Lucky escape if that’s what they are like.

RosemarysBush · 13/05/2019 20:25

Yep, they’re not allowed to ask about ‘your family situation’. You could take it further but you really wouldn’t want to work for them anyway.

RubyWho · 13/05/2019 20:25

You aren’t reading too much into this, that’s appalling! I was 20 when I got my first FT job and in the interview one of the Panel said “You will need to start at 8am, so you can’t just go out drinking all night - you did realise this?”.

Aye because all 20 year olds are total pissheads. I’d never had any alcohol at that point and told her so.

This was in 2004, so not hundreds of years ago.

Sorry OP.

OhTheRoses · 13/05/2019 20:27

Shocking but mat pay and cover does put small businesses out of business.

She shouldn't have asked however. Things have improved overall. I recall being asked:

What my father did
What my husband did
When I planned to start a family

1980's/90's

manicinsomniac · 13/05/2019 20:27

No way of knowing, sadly, and that's what employers who do this rely on. It could always be discrimination or a better candidate and you'll never prove either. Sorry this happened to you.

LaurieMarlow · 13/05/2019 20:31

Shocking but mat pay and cover does put small businesses out of business.

They’re not obliged to pay much (if any) mat pay unless the employee has been there for a specified amount of time, so I don’t really buy this as an issue for them.

Sindragosan · 13/05/2019 20:32

Sadly it happens. You would never be able to prove it because no one is dumb enough to put it in writing.

Better finding out now, I know several people pushed out of jobs during pregnancy or mat leave, and that really is a pain.

LaurieMarlow · 13/05/2019 20:33

When in my early 30s, I didn’t wear wedding/engagement rings to interviews. I’d advise other young women to do the same.

EggAndButter · 13/05/2019 20:54

Shocking but mat pay and cover does put small businesses out of business.

They’re not obliged to pay much (if any) mat pay unless the employee has been there for a specified amount of time, so I don’t really buy this as an issue for them.

But they need to find another suitable person to do the job. One that might need training, might be hard to find etc etc.
If you are talking about an entrance type of job, maybe yes that’s not so much of an issue. For other jobs, it’s a different matter.

Nomorepies · 13/05/2019 21:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Moreisnnogedag · 14/05/2019 18:22

I got asked outright about how I was going to manage childcare at an interview. I was pretty surprised but at least in a way they didn’t make assumptions. I got the job (and am still there) and they were fantastic during my pregnancy and return to work so it’s not always bad imo.

Greyponcho · 14/05/2019 18:27

Once found out in a job that I got it because the other candidate was ”a bit plump” and they thought that she might be pregnant

Greyponcho · 14/05/2019 18:28

Have you asked for feedback from the interview?

Houseonahill · 14/05/2019 18:29

Shocking but mat pay and cover does put small businesses out of business.

This is not true. Businesses can claim back almost all (and in some cases more) of SMP
www.gov.uk/recover-statutory-payments

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 14/05/2019 18:46

And even if it was true, that's no excuse. A business isn't viable if it can't make legally required payments to its staff.

SandyY2K · 14/05/2019 18:48

There was no reason to ask those questions. None at all. Your marital status and whether or not you have children has no bearing on the job.

surreygirl1987 · 14/05/2019 19:00

That's awful! I would email for feedback. Then underneath I would add another paragraph expressing your surprise at being quizzed about your family situation and discussing another employee's maternity... and ask if that is a normal part if the interview process.

At the very least that should make them.think twice about their actions. You don't need to make any accusation of discrimination.... the subtext will be clear. Their reply to that but will be interesting!

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